Wishing and hoping

CFN has a piece up today inviting its writers to provide their college football wish lists for 2008.

In the spirit of the season, I thought I’d join in, sort of. So here’s my college football media wish list for 2008, in no particular order.

I’d make a wish about Terence Moore, if I could figure out where to start. Maybe I’ll just settle for hoping that he never writes anything else I agree with.

About these ads

4 Comments

Filed under Media Punditry/Foibles

4 responses to “Wishing and hoping

  1. Every single mid-major-loving dope who picked Hawai’i in the Sugar Bowl and who whined about how OMG THEY ARE TOTES UNDEFEATED and OMG THEY MUST BE IN THE CHAMPIONSHIP AME must give me $5.

    Watched the replay on FSN last night, this time having not been hitting the keg since the Outback Bowl. Even uglier than I remembered. There is no way anyone could have seen that Hawai’i team, even against sub-par competition, and believed that it could match Georgia at ALL on the lines. If Marcus Howard can watch game tape and know ahead of time that he was going to sack Crybaby Colt within an inch of his life, than mercy, PAID analysts should have seen it coming too.

    But no, the general consensus had to rest on the following:

    1) I’m a paid analyst and I haven’t actually seen Hawai’i play! They’re awesome!
    2) I’m a paid analysts and I’m automatically thinking that Georgia’s just not gonna care! Hawai’i’s awesome!

    $5. All of you. Heck, I’m somewhat mad at myself for *only* picking a 21-point victory rather than that epic beatdown, but at least I was on the right track. How did I know? Because I watched the games, and didn’t expect Georgia’s coaching staff to be composed of morons.

  2. There were three quick tells at the start that told us what was coming:

    1. Jimmy Johnson’s comment in the pregame show about how small Hawaii looked.
    2. The jailbreak by Georgia’s defensive line on the first play from scrimmage (the one that was whistled for delay of game). The announcers thought that Hawaii stopped because of the penalty, but the Dawg defensive line was just that fast. That’s why the Hawaii right OT was freaked on the next play and moved early.
    3. Last but not least, Kris Durham (!) running through the Hawaii safety on Georgia’s first offensive series.

  3. “The announcers thought that Hawaii stopped because of the penalty”

    Yep, watching the replay last night showed me that the announcers thought a LOT of things.

    “You better believe Hawai’i is gonna come back.”
    “That was exactly the stop that Hawai’i needed.”
    “Hawai’i can regain momentum.”

    Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

  4. Whew, just went through their wish lists. Deserves a proper semi-Fisking:

    “Oklahoma vs. Ohio State in the Rose Bowl or the Fiesta Bowl. They really might be the two best teams in the country, but I can’t handle the whining that’ll ensure from early December until the first week of January if either one plays in the national title.”

    I’m sorry…you can’t handle the WHINING? See, most of us, we can’t handle the whole “continue to play like absolute garbage in BCS bowls” thingy. And, in tehOSU’s case, we can’t handle the whole “play a lousy schedule in order to have the right to play like absolute garbage in BCS bowls” thingy.

    But no. The whole whining bit bugs you. Huh.

    “The SEC to be half as good as its fans think it is”

    The SEC claimed poll spots #1 and #2 at the end of the year. Its champion won the BCS National Championship Game fairly easily. Its second-best team blew the doors off an upstart in the Sugar Bowl. Its fifth-place team had the Heisman winner. It had nine teams make bowls, and only two lost.

    It’s as good as its fans think it is.

    “Everyone who whines about a lack of a college football playoff be forced to watch all five 2008 BCS games again.”

    Uh, this would prove their “point,” smart guy.

    “Maybe it’ll never influence the powers-that-be in the NCAA, but then again, three or four unbeaten programs at the end of the regular season just might create a tipping point in the debate over a plus-one system in the BCS. While I’m making out my list, better make those perfect programs Penn State, Florida, Oklahoma, and USC. If you want change in the sport, you might as well have Joe Paterno, Urban Meyer, Bob Stoops, and Pete Carroll as your spokesmen.”

    Why, pray tell, Urban Meyer? Could we maybe get someone who finished a little better than 5th in the conference for this experiment? Perhaps one who didn’t feud with his coaches and who didn’t trash his seniors in the papers after suffering a ridiculous loss in the Cap. 1? Perhaps one who beat Urban by, oh, 12 last year? Just a thought.

    But no. Urban Meyer is super-awesome. And those 4 losses and that awful, awful defense will somehow not exist anymore, because CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP!!! or something.

    “Although Oklahoma State’s Mike Gundy became the poster man-child of boorish behavior last fall, he’s far from alone.”

    Come on. Gundy’s rant was funny. Get over it.

    Know what’s not really funny, though? Trashing your seniors to the media. Just saying.

    “Another 50 touchdown season from Florida’s Tim Tebow”

    Agreed. Please, continue to play him like a FB, Florida, and lose four more next year.

    “The ACC to get some respect after spending much of the last two years in the BCS conference cellar.”

    Note how this is phrased: The ACC should get RESPECT, not actual WINS. Verrry interesting.

    “No antics from teams who find it hard to get motivated every week.”

    Yaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwnnnnnn.

    “For Vanderbilt to have a winning season. That program deserves better than what it’s received over the past three years.”

    Well, the 2005 Vandy/Florida game remains a pox on college football indefinitely, but outside of that, the D’oh!rs have gotten exactly what they deserve. You drop your program down to intramural status, you recruit ho-hum-oh-well-whatever sorts of athletes, then yeah, you’ll keep snatching defeat from the jaws of victory (a la vs. UGA and UT). It will be indeed what you deserve.

    Also, stop roughing punters when you’re up two scores in the 2nd half. Morons.