If I were Nelson Muntz, I know what I’d be doing right now.

Muntz, seen channeling his inner Urban Meyer.

“I’ve declared. I’m committed.”

This from a man who makes Bobby Petrino look like a rock of stability.

No word yet from Gamecock Nation about how this affects South Carolina’s anticipated eighth year in a row preseason MNC.

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UPDATE: Spurrier is hiring Ellis Johnson as his new defensive coordinator to replace the nomadic VanGorder. Johnson – at least until a few hours ago – was Bobby Petrino’s defensive coordinator at Arkansas.

Two thoughts on this. First, there are levels of karma here that I, as a mere mortal, can never hope to comprehend fully. VanGorder, after all, came into play for Spurrier to hire in the first place because Petrino bailed out on the Falcons… who then hired VanGorder back.

Second, can you imagine what the meeting between Johnson and Petrino must have been like? I mean, Johnson’s got to be sitting there thinking something along the lines of if this sumbitch says one word about loyalty I’m gonna laugh in his face. (Of course, it might have been easier to take Petrino’s departure announcement and just change the names of the locations where appropriate.)

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UPDATE #2:  Unsurprisingly, there are some interesting quotes from the OBC’s presser.

  1. The subtle dig.   You might say why didn’t you hire [Ellis Johnson] the first time. The answer is I should have.
  2. The strange timing.  Fortunately right now none of those coaches bought houses. In fact I don’t think any of them have signed contracts so it’s a clean move.
  3. Tooting his own horn.  I had a chance a year or so ago to get more money but that’s not my deal anymore. Money’s not my deal.
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12 Comments

Filed under It's Just Bidness, The Evil Genius

12 responses to “If I were Nelson Muntz, I know what I’d be doing right now.

  1. Ally

    LMAO!! Best news I’ve heard all day!

    I always wonder though, what does BVG’s wife & family feel about this nomadic existence he’s created for them in the last 4 years?

  2. Well, the good news is that they probably haven’t had time to move from Atlanta to Columbia yet. :)

  3. Tenn_Dawg

    I second that Ally. I was a little worried about him being at USC. It could not happen to a better guy (SOS) and school. Has Jon Tenuta found a job yet?

    Really this is unbelievable. I do feel for his family and luckly they probably have not moved yet. I hope this guy sticks for a while.

  4. Word is Tenuta will land in Washington.

  5. Message board post of the day (so far):

    Hyman and Co need to sue this SOB for leaving us in such disarray.

    He did not work one minute or one day of the week with the University of South Carolina in his best interests.

    I propose not only to recover the moneys that were ‘earned’ during those 5 weeks, but the revenues gained from a potential SEC championship run and/or MNC journey. [Emphasis added.]

    We need to make an example of this chump.

  6. Tenn_Dawg

    WTF…..revenues gained from a potential SEC championship run? The only way this story would be better is if it would have happened to UT or UF.

  7. Great moments in Gamecock message board posts, part deux:

    Falcons new HC Mike Smith should have never approached VanGorder…
    We should be just as upset with Smith than with VanGorder.

    Because, after all, the entire world knows that a bond between a man and Coach Spurrier is sacred… unless you’re a kid on scholarship that the Ol’ Ball Coach wants to run off. ;)

  8. Ally

    Long ago I stopped looking to the Comedy Channel for a giggle fix. Now I just peruse the lamecock message boards instead.

    Thanks for the heads up Senator!

  9. Tenn_Dawg

    This whole thing is unbelievable.

  10. Brandon

    Tenuta to NFL as an assistant: He’s been in Mobile talking to as many pro guys as he can. I’m still surprised Tech didn’t give him much of a look to be their king bee. Or was that relationship getting stale? Anyhoo, I’m just glad he’s not 2nd in charge at North Avenue anymore; his defenses always concerned me (more than VanGorder’s would have). ‘Round and ’round!

  11. I’m still surprised Tech didn’t give him much of a look to be their king bee.

    Supposedly, he’s a little on the prickly side and doesn’t like the PR part of the HC job too much.