Wreck on the side of the highway

OK, it’s confession time. I admit I have this thing about South Carolina message boards. It’s like a redneck tooling down I-85 passing a bad wreck on the side of the road: you know you shouldn’t slow down and look, but you can’t help doing it.

Needless to say, with the end of the Brian VanGorder era in Columbia, it’s been a fun week to spend slumming there. And while his sudden and unseemly departure has added another villain to a long list of folks that Gamecock fans will hold grudges against as long as there are keyboards and electricity in South Carolina, you’ll be relieved to know that by now, the typical ‘Cock poster has dismissed the episode as a minor bump in the road of Carolina’s inevitable march towards another preseason MNC. After all, Spurrier, being the certified genius that he is, has managed to replace BVG with an even more kickass defensive coordinator (albeit one he passed over in making the original hire).

But that’s not what’s inspired this post. And I do mean inspired.

You have to start with this thread on the South Carolina Rivals board. The initial post contains what purports to be a cut and paste job of a media report on the current state of Gamecock recruiting, entitled “Reality Check for Gamecock Fans RE: Recruiting Worries!!!”

Now, anytime I see “reality check” and “Gamecock fans” linked together in a post, I’m going to slow down and take a look, because there’s a high probability that I’m going to see something especially gruesome yet titillating. And it doesn’t disappoint – not when you get to the oxymoronic conclusion:

And that has to have all reason-based Gamecock football fans excited.

Reason-based Gamecock football fans. Not to be confused with carbon-based lifeforms, surely. We know there must be more than one of these specimens, at least, because the poster that starts the thread with this exhortation…

NOTE: this news service NAILS IT AGAIN!!!!…it is a crying shame not one major newspaper in this state has a single writer on staff with this much insight and knowledge, with the ability to articulate it like this…BRAVO!!!!

… gets two others to respond with virtual nods and yessirs. Eureka!

Yet I felt something was lacking. The article seems somewhat less than polished from an editing standpoint. Who or what is this “BlogSpot News Service” and what crack journalists comprise its staff?

Well, that’s the best part of this story. When I Googled “BlogSpot News Service Gamecock fans”, this is where I was led. Evidently, BSNS is the creation of a disgruntled Gamecock fan who perceives blatant media bias in the way his beloved football team is covered and started a blog to, as he puts it, “deviate from the current norm”.

I give it about a one percent chance that this is some of the best satire I’ve seen, and about 99 percent that it’s the old fashioned Gamecock cocktail (pour in equal parts sincerity, paranoia and delusion, shake thoroughly and serve, with a twist) served in a larger glass. Either way, it’s teh awesome.

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10 Comments

Filed under The Blogosphere, The Evil Genius

10 responses to “Wreck on the side of the highway

  1. dean

    I’ve lived in SC my entire life (30+ years) so I’ve learned how to deal with the delusional cock fan. That’s not to say they don’t piss me off anymore. There’s only so much a DAWG can take.
    Anyway to the point of the blog; it’s funny to hear them talk about how the “media” has it “in” for them. And don’t get them stated on Corso. Here’s a thought, start winning consistently and actually compete for a Championship then maybe the media’s light will shine a little more brightly on your program.

  2. So the post originator is named “NorthStrand T.”

    And the “article” was written by “Big T.”

    Uh huh.

  3. You have to admit there’s a certain perverse logic driving these guys. They already indulge in an alternative reality preseason – it’s not that big a leap to do the same with the media.

  4. I think South Carolina fans and Tech fans should get together and fight over which team suffers from worse media bias.

    Now, what do those two teams have in common besides tinfoil-hat conspiracies about how the media have it in for them? That’s right: at least five losses every single season since 2002. And that’s the key to the so-called media bias. If you win a lot, the media only have wins to report on; if you lose a lot, they’re reporting on a lot of losses. Want to get good coverage by the media? Win. Demanding that the media only talk nice about you, thinking that that will produce results on the field, is putting the cart before the horse in a blatant (and very stupid) fashion.

  5. peacedog

    Say what you will, but 08 South Carolina look like world beaters right now. I don’t see anyone playing them close at this point. The battle is for #2.

  6. Can BlogSpot News Service quote you on that?

  7. Irishdog

    I still think Tech fans are the most self-deluded fans out there, having convinced themselves that their bush-league program is really Southern California in urine colored jerseys. At least South Carolina can fill their own stadium.

  8. peacedog

    BlogSpotNewsService is the cadillac of news services, and one of the few insitutions bold enough to print the truth.

  9. Yeah, gotta give the AKC credit for that. Their team is usually horrible, their stadium is an eyesore located in an industrial swamp in the worst state capital I’ve ever been to, and they still go bonkers for the experience.

    Most delusional fanbase in the SEC? Yes. Most die-hard? Honestly, also yes, all things considered.

    Also, I’m not sure why this BlogSpot News Service guy is so down on The State. That paper is in LOVE with the AKC.

  10. dean

    While I agree Tech fans are arrogant at least they have some championships to back some of it up.