Auburn’s grassy knoll

I love conspiracy talk, especially in college football.  Crooked refs, conference commissioners with agendas, head coaches’ secret plans to do something totally against their own vested interests – it’s all great.  Even though I don’t believe a word of it, it’s always fun to get some insight into how certain unbalanced parts of certain fan bases tend to… well, think may not exactly be the operative term here… let’s go with “internalize visual data which does not accord with their accepted world view”.

So, in that light, I present to you a viral e-mail that’s making the rounds on the Plains and was forwarded to me today.  I doubt it all, but it’s a hilarious read nonetheless.

from a player in my lab…i had befriended one of the senior lineman…he was responsible for signaling in plays…he said that this past week was the hardest preparation week they have had all year…the reason…all of the signs that are used had to be changed…apparantly after the utm game, one of the utm coaches came up to tubbs and told him that his signs had been known by every team he’s played since franklin left…not only that, but mark richt called tubbs the week before the uga game (btw mark richt may be my new favorite coach because of this) and told tubberville it was in his best interest to change all of his signs because he knew all of them…wonder why we started going to a huddle now???…from everything i gather, coach tony franklin put those bad boys out there for the world to know…it can be traced back to arkansas is what coach richt said…so for the past however many weeks, every team we played either knew our signs, or had the opportunity to know them…i’m not saying that that’s an excuse for our offensive woes, but it could explain how we looked so predictable and how kodi makes a majority of his completions after the play has broken down…i knew franklin was a snake, but if this is true, i hope he never coaches again…i hope he has to go door to door selling his books and video’s…he’s dead to me…

Two questions about this:  (1)  Didn’t Auburn’s offense suck before Franklin was let go?  (2) Richt couldn’t wait until after the game to let Tuberville know?  Sheesh.

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UPDATE: Jeebus. Maybe we’re supposed to detect the faint whiff of smoke from this after all.  Jerry at The Joe Cribbs Car Wash links to this article where Tubby kind of hints around the edges about… something:

… in football, having your signs stolen shouldn’t really be an issue. But it’s one of the numerous reasons coach Tommy Tuberville ditched the arm-flailing method of communication brought to the Tigers by Tony Franklin for the old-fashioned huddle technique for Saturday’s game against Georgia.

“You just take too many things for granted that if you’re signaling and people are seeing what you’re doing,” Tuberville said. “When you’re huddling, only 11 people in that huddle know what you’re going to do.”

Tuberville couldn’t pinpoint any examples of supposed sign-stealing.

“As coaches, you’re always wondering why are they slanting this way or doing that,” Tuberville said. “It’s probably not happening, but it gives you peace of mind for your players and coaches.”

Methinks this is still crap, but there you go…

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15 Comments

Filed under General Idiocy, SEC Football, Tony Franklin - Misunderstood Genius

15 responses to “Auburn’s grassy knoll

  1. Clearly Mark Richt doesn’t have what it takes to win in the SEC because he’s too nice and homina homina homina Nick Saban’s so tough and homina homina homina Urban Meyer always outcoaches him and homina homina homina, etc.

  2. Hobnail_Boot

    You mean to tell me that an Auburn football player took a class that required a lab? Must be fiction.

  3. Christian

    +1 Hobnail_Boot – I caught the same thing. Surely they could have used a better example…..=)

  4. Auburn Fan

    My son who is at Auburn told me that his roommate has a cousin who was talking to a guy who was fixing his car and who just had dental surgery and who was told by his dentist’s assistant that her husband had been at the local “rub and a tug” and that the “techician” there said that her pimp has a son who is being recruited by Auburn who was at the Georgia game who said that he talked to Tubby about the season and that Tubby said that the problem was that “we just kinda suck.”

    So it doesn’t appear that this whole “sign” thing is correct. Just goes to show that you’ve got to be particular about your sources of info.

  5. dan

    I wonder if that was for all three plays.

  6. Ally

    Well, that’s a relief! I was afraid the Plains/Eagles/Tigers were gonna blame their craptacular season on TT and poor player execution. Good to know all can be rectified with just some new signs.

    Fear the pinky Barners! Fear the pinky.

  7. baltimore dawg

    of course, this story *would* explain why our defense acted as if they didn’t know what play auburn would run next. . .

  8. Dawg N Suds

    Really, how hard is it to figure out what Auburn is going to run next?

    They only have three plays:

    1. Kodi runs around to the left; or
    2. Kodi runs around to the right; or
    3. Kodi runs around and heaves the ball high into the air hoping someone (anyone) can catch it.

  9. Jim

    —————————————————————–
    Auburn Fan
    —————
    Dark Helmet: Before you die there is something you should know about us, Lone Star.
    Lone Starr: What?
    Dark Helmet: I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.
    Lone Starr: What’s that make us?
    Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become.

  10. dean

    The only part of this I could remotely believe is CMR telling Tubbs about his signs being stolen. I guess the sign stealing had nothing to do with AU running the same 5 plays all year. Nope, got to be Franklin getting revenge.

  11. peacedog

    When I was in Athens, I had a class with Travis Stroud (I just dated myself somewhat for the more mature readership). He knew Auburn’s signs and passed them on to me back then!

  12. Kit

    What’s really sad is that Tommy Tuberville can hear us all laughing about this.

  13. Ouch. Wicked harsh burn Kit!!!

  14. D.N. Nation is a MORON

    Hey MORON DN NATION – Richt had enough HOMINA HOMINA HOMINA to beat Meyer and Saban just last year, and enough HOMINA HOMINA to win the SEC in 2002 and 2005. Get your facts straight MORON

  15. BamaFan4 Ever

    I guess Tubby will buy everyone Championship Rings again since they “would have been” champs if everyone hadn’t stole their plays.