Mark May jumps the shark.

Easily the funniest thing I’ve read this college football season:

Q: Who do you think is the best fit to replace Weis if he is fired, and any chance Coach Holtz would return if Notre Dame came calling?

A: … And I think Coach Holtz would probably take it as a two- or three-year deal to get Notre Dame back where it should be. And he can get the job done.

Although half of me would like to see Notre Dame actually do something that stupid…

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7 Comments

Filed under ESPN Is The Devil, General Idiocy

7 responses to “Mark May jumps the shark.

  1. NRBQ

    More like humping the shark.

    Still, not as funny as picking Hawaii in the Sugar Bowl.

  2. Dog in Fla

    Finding a Different Job for Lou

    First, it was losing the Clemson v. South Carolina brawl that caused Lou to look for work elsewhere.
    Next, Lou was thinking about maybe thinking about running for a spot in the House of Representatives from his hide-out in the Orlando area because if Lou would fit right in anywhere, it would be Inside the Arena of Money that is Inside the Beltway.
    Now, it’s time for Mark May to find Lou a different job.

    Mark somehow gets Swarbrick’s cell number, calls and this is how it went on Mark’s end of the conversation according to the stepson of the cousin of the janitor who cleans Mark’s closet office in Bristol where the mops are:

    “How did I get your number?
    I work for espn that’s how.
    Who gave it to me?
    They did it off the record and I can’t disclose my source.
    The old guy.
    Yes, he used to be somebody.
    The old guy.
    In the ‘80’s, that’s when.
    No he did not ruin South Carolina.
    Why, because there was nothing there to ruin in the first place.
    You would sooner hire Stoops or Spurrier?
    Is either one of them Catholic?
    Or O’Leary?
    Or Davie?
    You would hire Todd Jones before Davie?
    (Mark furrows brow(s); wonders if he should disclose info to Bob or if it would be too hurtful to Bob)
    No Lou was not married to Jed.
    No he does not have a mansion in Beverly Hills.
    No he is not senile.
    No he does not come with a spitguard.
    No he is not just a motivational speaker.
    Okay, motivational speaker to people who don’t play for him then.
    No he did not let his South Carolina players get their asses whipped by Clemson’s.
    Because that was all on the players.
    Why?
    They should know how to defend themselves after they attack somebody, that’s why.
    No he did not put a curse on ND by picking you guys pre-season to be the better team in the stadium each Saturday because your sked was so weak and therefore in the BCSCG.
    No he did not curse Spurrier by letting Spurrier clean up his radioactive waste in Columbia.
    No Lou following Charlie would not give rise to him being like Jack Spratt could eat no fat and Charlie could eat no lean jokes.
    Bryan Kelly?
    You’re talking Bryan Kelly?
    Why?
    Because Bryan Kelly will be like Steve Kragthorpe.
    How do I know?
    I just know.
    Sooner hire Kragthorpe than Lou?
    You’ve got to be kidding me.
    Okay, go ahead, hire Kragthorpe, at least he knows the geography of geographical area.
    Why not Wannstadt?
    At least he knows the area too.
    He’ll have to shave his moustache?
    Okay, so hire Cutcliffe away from Duke.
    Yes, the Duke AD now is the one who gave Charlie the bonanza.
    Yes, that would get back at the AD.
    Do it.
    Just do it.
    See how you like Cutcliffe hiring Fulmer to be on his staff, that’s why.
    No Cutcliffe could not have made Jimmy into the third Manning.
    That’s because Jimmy was already the third Clausen that’s why.
    Okay, it’s not your fault because it didn’t happen on your watch.
    That’s just what Obama says too and look where it’s not getting him.
    Okay it’s not your money anyway.
    Well, it wouldn’t be fair to Lou to call him an interim’s interim, he’s had some success.
    Why do I think Lou isn’t at ND anymore?
    Okay, I will go ahead and ask him.
    No I am not ****ing kidding you about a three year interim deal for Lou.
    Okay, you got me.
    He’s about to drive me nuts.
    Yes I thought when they got rid of Trev anything would be better.
    No, no I understand that the grass is not always greener than a leprechaun.
    What about me as a graduate assistant for who you hire?
    Jon Gruden?
    Why?
    Chuckie?
    You’ve got to be kidding me.
    Because he parts his hair down the middle like Richt?
    What does that have to do with anything?
    Because I want the job that’s why.
    No I don’t even know who Steve Phillips is.
    No I don’t even know who Steve Phillip’s intern is.
    No I don’t know his wife either.
    No I am not ****ing kidding you.
    If you will just listen to me a little more and I can explain….(click)
    Hello, Jack?
    Anyone?
    Hello?
    (dead silence)
    You want me to move my chair so you can mop under it?
    You’re asking me to move my chair so you can mop under it?
    Mop under it?
    Who’s talking mop under it?
    Not me?”

  3. Macallanlover

    I would donate to the cause just to get Granny off ESPN. What credibility ESPN had, Holtz has blown with his idiocy. I guess CFB fans deserve to be made a mockery of since they have tolerated the lack of determining a national champion so long, but ESPN is really rubbing it in. Yes, Master, we will take anything you want to dish out, sir.

  4. Aligator

    may is as big an idiot as that trev albert assclown and lou holtz is a great coach from back in the day, notre dame just sucks and no one will help them fools unless they can coach some defense!

    • Macallanlover

      Holtz? A great coach? You must be easily impressed or throw the word “great” around to many. I know of zero definitions of “great” that fit Lou Holtz. He has been at Arky, NC State, ND, Minny, S. Carolina, and the Jets. I don’t think there is a one that wasn’t glad he left, or would want him back.

      I have been around Holtz on several occasions, and had a private discussion with Spurrier about him so this may be a personal opinion, but it isn’t a guess: the guy is one of the most shallow egomaniacs you will ever meet. One of those people you may get fooled by from afar, but wears thin quickly if you are around him multiple times. It is an act, and it is all about him. Every place he left had some ‘issues” because of his actions. That may be “great” by your terms, but doesn’t measure up for me.