Just shoot me. Now.

God, please make this stop.

The next Tebow?

The similarities are remarkable.

At 6 feet 3 and 225 pounds, Florida freshman quarterback Trey Burton is built like Tim Tebow.

Like Tebow, Burton went to a Florida high school. Burton graduated from Venice. Tebow went to Nease in Ponte Vedra.

Like Tebow, Burton entered Florida early, arriving on campus in January.

Like Tebow, his running skills are his strength. Burton rushed for 123 yards and two TDs on 10 carries in the Gators’ spring game.

Like Tebow, he’s spending his freshman year as a backup.

And like Tebow, Burton has a strong Christian faith.

“I just want to do whatever I possibly can to get this team to [the SEC Championship game],” Burton told the Sarasota (Fla.) Herald-Tribune. “I don’t care if it is washing people’s shoes or carrying water bottles. I am not really trying to prove anything to anyone. I am just going to go out there and try to make plays.”

What, no Filipino circumcision experiences to compare?  Maybe next summer…

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71 Comments

Filed under Tim Tebow: Rock Star

71 responses to “Just shoot me. Now.

  1. RandallPinkFloyd

    Just read that on the AJC before perusing over here. Isn’t this the converted tight end? He sure didn’t mention that one. They both went to a high school in Florida. OH. MY. GOD. (in a Chris Farley voice).

  2. Seriously

    Welcome to the future!

  3. Ricky McDurden

    The difference between Herschel and Tebow (and UGA fans & UF fans, for that matter):
    We knew there’d never be another Herschel. They can’t stop thinking about who will be the next Tebow. Legends can’t be replaced, only emulated.

  4. dean

    Tebow went to Nease in Ponte Vedra.

    Uh, no Tebow played football for Nease. He was home schooled.

  5. Tebow was born from a mother.
    Burton was born from a mother.

    Coincidence? I think not

  6. Puffdawg

    Burton also breathes air and blinks when his eyes get dried out.

    No word yet on whether he flails his arms in an unsportsmanlike manner after a 3 yard gain while the officials stand idly by.

  7. Mike

    The guy writing this is not a Florida fan, so it is not like UF is pushing this stuff.

    Anytime a great player passes through a college team, I think there is tendency for this to happen

  8. Pumpdawg

    The main difference being,Tebow walks on water while Burton merely drinks it.

  9. D.N. Nation

    This stuff makes it impossible to watch Florida football from an outsider’s perspective. There is not enough worth in the endeavor to counteract the overhype.

    I was actually going to watch last year’s Sugar Bowl but once the TEBOW CAM was introduced, I went and did something else.

  10. Bulldog Bry

    Has anyone checked with Chuck Norris to see if he’s got his Burton pajamas yet?

  11. Pumpdawg

    What if Burton’s mom had had an abortion.We wouldn’t have been blessed with the opportunity to make these comparisons.Count your blessings guys.

  12. Stumpy Pepys

    One clarification on the GPOOE, Senator. He did not “go” to Nease in Ponte Vedra, but he did play football there. He was actually home-schooled. The Tebow family lived in Jacksonville, but after finding a program that fit their needs, the family was able to meet whatever residency requirements were necessary so the young man could play across the county line at Nease.

    • Ben

      Nice try. He was simply reposting an article that had already been posted.

      To your point, though, you’re telling me that the Tebow family sought after a way to bend the rules to their favor? The horror.

      The guy was a great college QB. Maybe he’ll be a great pro. He may even be a great person, but I’m sure the point here is that we’re all a little bit tired of the overexposure. Even some of the moderate to liberal minded Gator folks I’ve spoken with are about ready to put Tebow and fanatical faith behind them.

      • Mike

        As one of those Gator fans, I can say that I tired of the Tebow hype long ago. But the hype was not Tim’s doing.

        • Reptillicide

          He did nothing to curb it, he ate every bit of it up

          • Mike

            Jeebus.

            Thin gruel indeed

          • Mayor of Dawgtown

            He actually incited a lot of it with some of his antics, like running around doing the Gator chomp after not only touchdowns but first downs. The hot dog antics of Tebow turn off real athletes and only play to the masses who have never worn a jock strap, which is most of the Gator fans and the idiot sports media. What I expect will happen, not this year but when Burton becomes the starter (if CUM is still there), is that Burton will post statistics that are almost identical to Tebow’s. It’s the system guys. When the offense gets down close to the endzone the QB in that system either runs it in or passes it in. He gets credit for the TD either way. Except for the “20/20″ business the QBs at Bowling Green and Utah put up almost exactly the same numbers as Tebow and we now know (from their NFL careers) that they really aren’t very good QBs. Time will expose Tebow, too. The Gators won because of their excellent D, not because of Tebow. I still am surprised that a D-line guy didn’t beat the crap out of him for stealing all the credit for the Gators winning. I think Tebow really believes that BS.

    • Melody

      Jacksonville = Duval County, FL

      Macclenny = Baker County, FL

      Timmy is from Macclenny. He wound up in PVB after his father’s ministry was donated a PVB apartment.

      Homeschooled students can pretty much shop for the school they want to attend here in FL.

      • Dog in Fla

        That’s what Nancy Grace said…i think…and He even has legislation named after him before He has been Raptured up to the sky to the flying saucer spaghetti monster or, is it, He’s already been raptured down, whatever, i forget, just shoot somebody…

        http://yourkidsnotgoingpro.wordpress.com/2009/02/17/tim-tebow-has-not-been-kidnapped-and-murdered/

      • Stumpy Pepys

        You’re right Melody, he skipped across two (or was it three?) county lines…. I believe he was attending (or planning to attend) a small Christian school in Jacksonville (University Christian perhaps) but the coach wasn’t going to let him play QB. I’m sure he’s a good kid, but there’s no question that his dad shopped him around until he found a system to his liking. I guess one cannot blame the GPOOE for taking advantage of FHSAA rules that permitted him to play for a school where he never saw a classroom.

  13. Beak

    wasn’t the gpooe homeschooled?

  14. Go Dawgs!

    Surely, this columnist will be smited for bearing false witness of the second coming of The Tebow.

  15. Ward Eagle

    I put this in a chart for you ‘tards.

    UGA – I hate Tebow
    UF – I hate Bowden
    AU – I hate Bammers
    Bammers – I hate Education

  16. Dog in Fla

    Believe it or not, even you too can learn how to raise up a Devine Child by signing up for the “Bringing Up Tim Tebow” seminar. Get your tickets and tinsnips now…

    http://trueslant.com/bobcook/2010/04/16/tim-tebows-parents-teach-you-how-to-raise-your-own-divine-child/

  17. The antichrist is a charlatan.

  18. Siskey

    As a Georgia fan I hope that they use this dude like Tebow. There is no way that we are unlucky enough or that the Universe is consistent enough for another Tebow to come along so soon. So please play a QB that throws ducks, please play a QB who releases the ball that slowly, please allow there to be another QB who with his every throw puts his receivers in a position to be killed. If this is so I feel like we’ll be in good shape because as I look around in Athens there is no way that we can be considered unlucky.

    • Chuck

      The answer is yes, Quincy Carter, could not stand him. Was glad to see him not play for CMR and he moved on to the NFL. He was a disgrace to call him a DAWG.

  19. Most people who recognize my name here know I am a hardcore dawg fan.

    But to all the Tebow haters: Do you really think if he had been a bulldog, doing some bulldog variant on the gator chomp after every TD/first down, and getting away with it, ANY of us would have called him out for it? Of course not.

    Do I think it was lame of him? Yes. But I am honest enough to admit that if it had been “my guy”, I would have looked the other way on something that is ultimately irrelevant.

    • anon

      But he wasn’t our guy, muck. And that, among a long string of things stated above, is why he sucks.

    • Again, I don’t hate Tebow – quite the opposite. How can you not respect the kid for what he’s accomplished?

      But the Tebow-hype is another story.

      As for your hypothetical, I’ll put it this way. David Greene and David Pollack are two of my favorite Dawgs ever, but all of those people who complained about the constant tongue-bathing folks like Uncle Verne gave them had a point. Hell, by their last season, I winced a little when I heard it.

      • Mike

        The good Senator gets it

      • Just to be clear (and if you go back and re-read my comment) I wasn’t talking about the hype. I was specifically talking about the people who trash Tebow for stuff like the gator chomp. I agree that even fans get annoyed when a favorite player gets over hyped – if for no other reason that fear of a hype-karma-backlash.

    • Seriously

      Thanks for the honesty. It’s very refresheshing.

    • Chuck

      Sorry reply to the wrong post:
      The answer is yes, Quincy Carter, could not stand him. Was glad to see him not play for CMR and he moved on to the NFL. He was a disgrace to call him a DAWG