Don’t cry for me, Columbia.

You’ll have to pardon me if I don’t pick up a shovel to toss some dirt on the grave of Stephen Garcia’s career just yet.

After all, the flip side of being suspended four out of five offseasons is that he’s been reinstated to the team four times in five seasons.

The OBC is nothing if not practical.  If none of the other quarterbacks on South Carolina’s roster are ready to be declared the full-time starter, prepare to hear about Garcia being given one more chance.

Maybe they can bring Ken Stabler in to mentor Garcia.

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UPDATE: Also, this.

… We would remind Carolina fans that Garcia is at worst the second or third best quarterback in the history of your program, took a flyer on your program at a time when other teams were very interested in having him start for them, and has done very little in the way of anything actually nasty or felonious. Dude likes beer, sweet, life-giving beer. At this point it’s Stabler-esque in the charming way, not in the multiple DUI manner.

We would also remind you that every quarterback who ever played under Steve Spurrier has been on the verge of benching at every second of their tenure, so this does not represent a real diversion from the overall historical path of Spurrier quarterback management. If you look at it from a wagering perspective, Garcia will probably still end up being the starter at one point if he’s not thrown off the team. He will likely not be thrown off the team because he’s less malicious and more like the family Labrador who likes to drink beer out of his dog dish, and has one more year to show something like the kind of talent a typical Spurrier quarterback can deliver for NFL scouts: I am just good enough to earn my pension and then immediately retire after spending five years on the bench.

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27 Comments

Filed under 'Cock Envy

27 responses to “Don’t cry for me, Columbia.

  1. The Rodfather

    I can’t say that I’m surprised. If SOS thought Conner Shaw could handle things, Garcia would be gone. Expect some more verbal abuse and one-liners from the OBC. I mean hey, they do have a SECE title to defend and expectations are never lacking here in SC.

  2. heyberto

    The thing I thought was a little interesting (but, admittedly, may be nothing) is this came from the AD and not Spurrier. I wonder if the ol’ Ball Coach is being overridden?

    • Wonderful-Ohio-on-the-Gulf Dog

      And, Spurrier made reference to Garcia’s fate being in the hands of highers-up at USCe. I thought that interesting too.

      It would be like CMR saying last winter that Ealey’s situation would be decided by Mikie and McGarity.

      Maybe nothing, though.

      • AthensHomerDawg

        I noticed that too. It does give SOS a means to save face when he “allows” Charlie Sheen wanna be back on the team.

    • Ubiquitous GA Alum

      It’s Masters Week … The OBC is AWOL …

  3. Irishdawg

    Ok, now that it’s confirmed that Garcia has no impulse control, we’ve got to make sure he gets to Topper’s the night before the Georgia game this year.

  4. The Stephenator

    “I’ll be back”

  5. crapsandwich

    Yes he is the comeback kid, isn’t he?

  6. Hogbody Spradlin

    I think the same as Blutarsky. Indefinite suspension, rather than dismissal a la Zach Mettenberger, is no accident. Spurrier is keeping his options open.

    Ken Stabler is acting like Ken Stabler because he’s been allowed to act that way forever. All he ever had to do in life was be Ken Stabler.

  7. Looks like the chicken fans are expecting him to be back anyway sometime before the UGA game. As they say. “Same old, same old”. Also on University level in particular at USCe this probably is like a secondary violation anyway like in NCAA and will not even raise a single eyelash, just a tap on one fingernail. The Univ. President and AD just like in OSU case may even say that they do not like to be fired by “The Visor”. After tasting the sweet smell of small success, it will be difficult for the big time boosters to let a possibility of another one get away.

  8. Dboy

    I don’t buy it either senator

  9. orlandodawg

    Stephen deserves to have his name added to the college football lexicon.

    garcia–referring to a scholarship athlete who receives a meaningless suspension during the off-season, resulting in no loss of game time.

    Our starting linebacker got another garcia 2 weeks ago. He’ll be back for fall practice.”

    • Comin' Down The Track

      According to Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, “Verbing weirds language.”
      But, hey. I’m cool with it.

  10. Gravidy

    Barring a significant injury, incarceration, or other circumstance beyond Spurrier’s control, Stephen Garcia will take every meaningful SEC snap this season. I can’t put it any more plainly than that.

  11. Irishdawg

    “they wear (some) clothing now. Strings and pasties per ordinance from The Peoples Republic of Clarke County.”

    What about Chelsie’s? Clarke County, you sons of bitches.
    (Shakes fist at sky)

  12. 69Dawg

    At UGA Gracia would have already been kicked out of school by the alcohol policy 2 strikes and your out. The AD has nothing to do about that at good old UGA.

  13. shane#1

    Man, Garcia and Snake, I am an old dude but I would like to hang out with that duo just once. We would need a couple of DD s, not drivers, but bra size!

    • Dog in Fla

      You are right about that, brother. I know Snake Stabler. Steven Garcia is no Snake Stabler. But he’s off to a good start if it’s true that Steven had two out of five buck ass naked.

      Snake was a few years older. Grew up with him. Our families knew each other. Saw his dad, Slim, get into a fist-fight with the dad of another player on our team during a JV game. Knew the coach that gave him his nickname. Saw the kick return that made the coach give him the nickname. Saw him pitch against Don Sutton of Pensacola High. Don, who believe it or not, did not have a perm back then, had the better fastball but Snake had much better breaking stuff.

      Got runover by Snake in one of the Sunday afternoon pickup football games on the baseball field. Got blocked into his path from his side. He didn’t see me and cut toward where I was rolling on the baseball infield clay. He tripped over me and got a bloody knee. Snake was cool about it. The older boys told me get my ass off the field. (I didn’t, I just played Lonesome End so nobody paid any attention to me). Little did I know then, but what I like to call my ‘tackle’ of Snake turned out to be my greatest moment in football.

      Besides Snake being the best at football, basketball, baseball, track, hard-partying and getting laid, there was not a better joke-teller, story-teller, fist-fighter or drag racer around.

      Besides, they probably profiled him in Robertsdale for that last DUI. Bama should not have fired him as an announcer.

      Even Nick – much to his credit – didn’t want Bama to lay off Snake. But they did and to hell with them for that.