Texas’ loss is our ears’ gain.

Craig James is about to embark on a journey that should thrill us all.  He’s actually managed to find the one profession which will allow him to be held in greater contempt than he’s in now.

I bet Jesse Palmer would make one helluva campaign manager.  Just sayin’.

About these ads

37 Comments

Filed under ESPN Is The Devil, Political Wankery

37 responses to “Texas’ loss is our ears’ gain.

  1. Go Dawgs!

    I wonder what his response will be when some reporter inevitably brings up the five…

  2. TennesseeDawg

    Washington could use another douchebag.

  3. UGAfoo

    Where do I send money to get him elected?

  4. AusDawg85

    He has no chance…none. Won’t clear the primary, so he’ll be back in plenty of time to annoy us all next year.

  5. X-Dawg

    I’m guessing there will now be a stampede of potential opponents filing to run against him.

  6. WH

    I don’t want to see him on my TV, but I don’t want to see him on my ballot either. Good Lord, what’s next? Skip Bayless for President?

    • Comin' Down The Track

      I’m pretty sure what you just said is actual sedition. That said, I could get on board with it so long as he chooses Steven A. Smith as a running mate with Colin Cowherd and Rome as potential cabinet members.

      Come to think of it, World Wide Weasels is exactly who they are.

      • Comin' Down The Track

        … and before you go there, I realize SAS and SB despise each other, but they’re really the same person… which makes they’re hatred of each other so appropriate.

  7. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but this may constitute a new low for politicians from Texas.

  8. Chris Wells

    Now here is someone who seems like he would “speak for the people.” And he would be under no pressure to bring home the bacon-pork; the hookers could take care of that.

    • Cojones

      Be afraid. Be very afraid.

      His first paid announcement will be on the Longhorny’s Network. His son writes and flashes the reminder cue cards for their Gov/Pres. Cand. He and the Gov go hunting for coyotes in the Austin City Limits. Do they still have that show?

      It’s reported that he will travel to Brownsville so that he can say he saw a foreign country. As long as he doesn’t ask,”Is that where the Beaners come from?” he should be OK with the Hispanic vote. It’s rumored he will deliver his first speech standing on a rock at the entrance to Perry’s hunting ranch.

  9. Macallanlover

    The good people of Texas are way too smart for this whining dummy. Think he will carry the Lubbock area? I am in favor of anything to gets him off the TV, just wish he could take some of the other pieces of dung with him…especially those in the executive group that doesn’t see what we all see. Did hear a snnipet of information where another network is going to start an all-sports network. I don’t have much confidence in them but competition is almost always good for the final product and the consumer.

    • Bevo

      I wish we were too smart for whining dummy politicians…but, alas.

      Craig James, however, will prove to be too much a whining dummy for even our electorate.

    • Your first sentence is hilarious.

      • Macallanlover

        Not really stoop, they have been the best group , collectively, I have encountered in my travels in this country. I can understand how they came to be a part of the Union, but don’t really understand why they should stay now. It is their legal right to leave, and I would not be surprised if they do. There will be a mad rush to join them. If you don’t believe that, you are not paying attention to how disenfranchised many have become.. Not saying there aren’t some curious folk among them, but they just don’t sell out. When I first started traveling there 30+ years ago they were stronger, but even though they have been watered down some, the Texas attitude stands well above the rest. (Might rope off that Austin area, but the rest are keepers.)

    • Hayduke

      Wow. You are giving the people of Texas waay too much credit. They aren’t smart, and off the top of my head they have given us such douchbags as Tom Delay, Bush 1 & 2, and possibly the most comedic one of all, this Rick Perry bozo. James will fit right in with this bunch. ; )

      Politickin’ aside, good freaking riddance! Worst announcer ever. I too hope he has some cabinet positions for several of the other shitheads.

      • Chopdawg

        Maybe Perry will pick Craig James as his VP running mate! One or the other of them is bound to know about the Department Of … um…

      • Hayduke

        BTW ….I first read this on the SI RSS feed, and high-tailed it over here because I just knew there would be a post and the comments would be priceless. Thanks for not disappointing!

  10. Dawg Vent

    Holy crap, its like an extended birthday. First Bob Davie, now Craig James. Am I pushing my luck to hope that Mark May is next? Or maybe Greg McGarity will wise up and FIRE MARK RICHT 11111!111

  11. Nate Dawg

    Senator, totally off topic but I just read on the espn scroll where the Ohio St interem coach will coach the bowl game – so says the Corch. Color me disappointed even tho we knew it wud be that way. Hope that doesn’t ruin your day, but I thought you shouldn’t hold out false hope.

  12. section Z alum

    i want to be on that campaign.

    craig james – it’s time for a douche

    craig james – intellect isn’t everything

    craig james – almost as smarterer as W

    craig james – want fries with that?

    craig james – because someone needs to put the bill in the bill position before the majority runs the majority play on the majority bill play on the bill position on the bill field. and give my son a tax cut.

  13. Cojones

    My son, who lives in Austin, says James already is introducing a bill against thespians. Perry is going to back it. He was going to outlaw schmucks , but changed his mind when he found out it would wipe out ESPN and most of the GOP candidates, James included.

    • Cojones

      Honest truth. In the 60s, the Texas Treasurer’s name was Jesse James. Saw his name on my student teaching wife’s (before she was my wife, now my ex) paycheck. Wonder if they are related?

      Of course the Gov of that state used to be a Hogg. Named his two daughters Ima and Ura. Honest truth. You can look it up.

  14. Dante

    As a current voting resident of Texas, I’m so writing in Mike Leach on that ballot.

  15. gatorhater

    He’s adept at using his influence to destroy others’ careers…he should fit right in!

  16. I can feel the size of his ego and head here in GA.

  17. Cojones

    Dante’s idea is spot on!. I’ll send it to my son.