Don’t hate the chicken sandwich because the conference is pretty.

This is what somebody with no soul sounds like.

… I was excited by the mere prospect of sober Chik-Fil-A consumption (I’d had it a couple times while drunk in Florida).

I went to the mall, ordered the chicken sandwich combo, took a seat, took a bite. It’s a chicken sandwich with pickles. That’s it. There is absolutely nothing special about it whatsoever. It’s a bit dry, actually. A bit stale. The breading was KFC-level mediocre.

“KFC-level”?  This aggression will not stand, man.

Secession was wrong and so is this:

Also, congrats, SEC fans: In your reflexive need to react against carpetbagger Yankees with torches and pitchforks, you just inadvertently stuck up for the BCS and placed Jim Delany — JIM DELANY, PEOPLE — on the side of Dan Wetzel and the other BCS antagonists. He might be the defender of the Rose Bowl, but you have become the defenders of a status quo that everyone uniformly hates.

We’re the defenders of the status quo?  You must have us confused with somebody else.

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50 Comments

Filed under BCS/Playoffs, Big Ten Football, SEC Football

50 responses to “Don’t hate the chicken sandwich because the conference is pretty.

  1. sliceshs

    Definitely sending the cows there now…

  2. jagvocate

    This is a bizarro War of Northern Aggression.

  3. ‘Scuse me? What B1G dominance did Florida interrupt in 2006? A split title in ’97 and a bullshit penalty assisted title in ’02? And no titles between 1968 and 1997? B1G fans are funny.

  4. Nate

    The author is from Iowa. That pretty much invalidates any opinion he might have on sandwiches. Chicken or otherwise…

  5. Beard Dawg

    Well, if you are ordering it in a mall, in Iowa for god’s sake, the yankee high school kid who made it obviously sabotaged it out of confrence jealousy.

  6. Dawgfan Will

    The fact that he is able to compare it to KFC at all invalidates his entire argument.

    • Dawgfan Will

      But then again, in the comments it becomes apparent that they like their cornbread sweet and their tea not sweet. You can’t eat pinto beans with sweet cornbread. I can’t even talk to these people.

  7. Irishdawg

    I’ve been to Iowa, and other than liquor being sold at Wal-Mart, everything else is inferior. What fast food joints are in the Midwest? A&W? Really?

    When you have more to offer than corn and snow in May, we’ll discuss the merits of Chik-fil-A.

  8. WH

    Yankee bloggers be trollin’.

    The solution is simple: continue to beat the crap out of every team the B1G puts up in bowl (especially MNC) competition (minus the cheaters) and let them talk their obnoxious, South-hating, non-Chick-fil-A-appreciating mouths off.

    No one will care what this moron wrote about CFA or southerners when the next Crystal Football sits in a SEC trophy case. (Or the one after that, or the one after that…)

    • fuelk2

      My thoughts exactly. Why are we allowing ourselves to be trolled by this idiot? Everything about the South is definitively superior than its counterpart to the North, particularly in B1G country. So his trolling is so ridiculous that it doesn’t deserve discussion.

  9. SSB Charley

    Iowans are ignorant. Film at eleven.

  10. Mayor of Dawgtown

    I order mine with lettuce, tomato and pickles. Um-um….good. If our Iowa friend wanted something else on his he could have said so…whose fault is that? Not Chik-fil-a and certainly not the chicken’s.

  11. Scott W.

    Someone’s a little sore about being left in the Big 12. The Hawkeyes will never see a final, national championship, conference championship, or the damn Rose Bowl.

  12. Dante

    These days I live in the DFW area and the Chick-Fil-A’s here are kind of sad. The water is too hard to really appreciate the tea (imagine Florida tea x 2). The fries are soggier. The sandwich is drier. And it’s not just a particular store. It’s all of the ones I’ve been to here. Maybe Chick-Fil-A is just inferior outside of the south? Maybe Truett Cathy needs to do a tour of the midwest, find the franchise owners, and slap their mommas in the mouth? Whatever the cause, I don’t have the burning desire to eat Chick-Fil-A at least once per week like I did when I lived in Georgia and that’s a real shame.

    • DawgWalker07

      The sandwiches probably have to do with the fact that CFA stealthily removed a large amount of sodium from them a few years back, and the fries are a little different now that they’re cooked in canola oil instead of peanut oil.

      The water though, that’s just Texas.

  13. beau0013

    Not only is football better in the south, but so is our food, Chic-fil-A didn’t invent chicken just the chicken sandwich. The north just gets upset when its proven time and time again that the south is better. They know its better too otherwise they wouldn’t come down here on vacation. There is a reason why Walt Disney didn’t build the happiest place on earth in Akron, Ohio. Thats the reason why all the yankee retirees retire to Florida. They don’t even want to stay up there. So for all the yankees that read this I leave you with this: Why do all the pine trees in Georgia tend to lean towards the North?……..cause Ohio SUCKS!

  14. Skeptic Dawg

    I have never been fond of Chick-Fil-A myself. Nor do I understand why everyone gets all excited about a plain and boring chicken sandwich. But, a fool and his money are easily separated. More power to Truett though. Can not knock his hustle.

    • …plain and boring chicken sandwich.

      Them’s fightin’ words, sir.

      • The other Doug

        Yep. I will not take anything skeptic says serious from here on out. He is like a 3 year old holding a book and pretending he can read.

    • Scott W.

      Yeah but you don’t like anything.

    • AthensHomerDawg

      I am beginning to suspect that you are a communist. Cojones must be on vacation or ill to let this slight go unchallenged.

    • AusDawg85

      Please leave and take your vegan,tofu, pannini wrap crap with you.

      Next SD will claim he does not care for pulled pork BBQ either. Lord….

  15. Adam

    All of you are spelling “dog” wrong.

  16. 81Dog

    The comments section following that misguided screed are hilarious. There’s nothing like being thought of as an ignorant redneck by some beefy, cornfed Iowa farmhand to put a little extra spring in a southern boy’s step. Even Macon is Paris compared to centers of enlightenment like Dubuque or Cedar Rapids.

    They’re all welcome to stay amongst the corn husks and the cowpies in Iowa and look down their overalls at us, while those of us lucky enough to be down here in God’s country will go right on enjoying sweet tea, chik-fil-a sandwiches, and the most kick ass college football played anywhere in these here United States of America. You Micheal Moore resembling midwestern crybabies go right ahead doing things your way (loving Slowhio State football, 3 month old snowdrifts and scrapple) and us ignorant Southern folk will go right ahead doing things the right way (winning BCS titles, sunshine and cornbread with pork cracklins).

    • sniffer

      Grizzard is buzzing in my mind right now. Should we unleash “theLewis” on there asses? It’s really no wonder they’re bitter. Our ladies have been in sleeveless dresses for three months. Theirs, probably not.

      • 81Dog

        if you saw one of those corn-fed Iowa gals in a sleeveless dress, you’d know why those midwestern boys dont mind the cold so much. And also why the cows are so skittish around those boys.

        have another stick of fried butter, Mable!

    • X-Dawg

      Talked to this yankee gal today. She said she and hubby had lived in the ATL for 7 years and decided to move back “home” (NY or Boston or Maine or somewhere like that) to have and raise their kids. She said a year later, they were back in Atlanta because it felt more like home than where they were raised (bless their hearts).

  17. JAX

    Really? This from the state that endorses sodomy and thinks Kirk Ferentz is special? get out of here.

  18. TennesseeDawg

    I lived in Nebraska and traveled extensively in Iowa, Kansas and some of the rest of the middle of nowhere. For anyone from the midwest to be a food critic is rich. You can literally starve to death out there looking for a good place to eat.

  19. charlottedawg

    So from the comments, chick-fil-a sucks but scrapple is good. Um ok, guess we’ll have to console ourselves with winning football while they get to bask in the glow of free tats and pedophile d coordinators.

  20. Always Someone Else's Fault

    How can a state that ranks first in the country in pigs produced have exactly zero BBQ joints? This isn’t a Memphis/Kansas City rub/sauce debate. The closest they come to BBQ in Iowa are boiled ribs doused in spicy ketchup.

    I wonder what Iowa would consider its signature dish? Double-cut pork chop with a high-fructose corn syrup glaze?

  21. Ben

    In his defense, it can be an acquired taste. I didn’t have a CFA sandwich until I was sixteen and I wasn’t impressed the first time(s), either.

  22. buckeye1980

    Any commentary coming from Iowa should be taken lightly, as Northwestern has more conference championships in the last two decades than they do.

  23. AthensHomerDawg

    Yes I went there. Neil need not reply! ;-)
    The South has the best looking ladies, the best sour mash whiskey, and the best college football and no one owns a snow shovel.
    And ….Lewis is from here!
    “The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life’s most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and
    occasionally raise the dead, is to put rum or bourbon in it.”

  24. ScooBoo

    It is way too far from kick-off to read shit like this.

  25. Thomas Jefferson

    A professed Libertarian who is against the right of secession? For shame!