Name that caption: let’s wrap this up, aiiight?

A loyal reader sent me this photo of Nick Saban filming a Ford truck ad.

Clearly, that’s the look of a man who doesn’t have time for this shit.  Even if he’s being paid for it.

Have at it in the comments.

About these ads

85 Comments

Filed under Name That Caption

85 responses to “Name that caption: let’s wrap this up, aiiight?

  1. Mackie

    Does the pitch have something to do with how easily he can move his booster-seat in and out of the F-150?

  2. Castleberry

    Sorry sir, you must be this tall to drive the F150.

  3. JN

    Alabama Saturday’s…Where grown men yearn to be my shade b%#ch.

  4. Hogbody Spradlin

    Director: “Nicky,boobie, sweetie, ya gotta smile. You’re killing me with the sourpuss.”

  5. Rebar

    here’s a little tiny ladder for you to stand on; you have to be taller than the truck!

    • Macallanlover

      My first thought was about the lack of running boards, my wife is petite as well and SUVs require an assist to get in. Perhaps someone on the staff is nearby with a trampoline.

      Regardless of how he gets in his truck, Saban is just a certifiable jerk. His attitude and demeanor never seems to vary, and anyone associated with him (other coaches, administrators, etc. have all repeated the same refrain. Shame to be that unhappy with the success and wealth he has achieved in his life’s work. So you reach your goals, stand on top of your mountain and say: “Is that all there is? This sucks.”

  6. Bogey Dawg

    NS “I would look taller standing by a car”

    Producer “we are trying to sell trucks, dumb*ss”

    NS “But I can’t even reach the door handle”

    Pr “with your ego, your head won’t fit in the bed of the truck either, can we just shoot this thing, pee wee”

  7. gatriguy

    It’s funny until you think about Saban coaching circles around Richt year after year after year after year…..Saban will win his 5th NC before Richt wins his first.

    • Macallanlover

      It is funny to me that you would probably want to be Saban and not Richt. Sad.

      • Gatriguy

        I don’t want to be either one, I’m happy being me. But this is a colleg football blog, and presumably we’re all college football fans, and no honest, rational fan can deny that Saban is a better coach than Richt. Not to say I dislike Richt, but myopia and blind loyalty in the face of overwhelming evidence is how to manage to go 31 years without a NC in a state absolutely loaded with talent and with first class resources.

        • Joe

          OK, so Saban is the best coach ever and Urban is second greatets coach in history. Neither one is coming here, so Now what; who do you suggest we get that would both win and do it honorably? Chizik, Tressel, Stoops, Carroll, JoPa, Lombardi?

          • Gatriguy

            Dunno, but I don’t think it’s a stretch to say there are a lot of coaches that could have done better than 34-19 at UGA over the last four years. Hell, Donnan went 35-13 his last four years. Again, I’m not beating the drum to get rid of Richt, but I hold 100% firm that Saban will win his 5th before Richt wins his 1st. Doesnt make Saban a saint or Richt a horrible person. Saban is just a much better coach.

            • Charles

              And yet Richt is 2-3 against the demonstrably better coach, or whatever.

              • Gatriguy

                Yes, with one win in OT and two of the most clinical, thoroughly violent ass kickings of Richt’s tenure

                • Charles

                  11-point win equals “thoroughly violent ass kicking.” Oh that’s right 4th quarters and OT don’t count, brah!

                • Go Dawgs!

                  And one of the most clinical, thoroughly violent ass kickings of Saban’s career.

                • 81Dog

                  I see. When UGA wins, we were lucky. When UGA loses, it’s because the other team is coached by a mega-genius who mercilessly exploits the fact that we suck. Got it. This is sort of like the “Richt cant win a big game” meme, because any time UGA wins, by definition, it isnt a big game.

        • Kyle

          The day that I see a picture of Mark Richt being fanned by a grown man who is holding an umbrella over him in the sun is when I’ll let you call me myopic.

          People claiming NCs are all that matter regardless of how you get there and who’s in charge are the same people that thought world domination would be awesome even if it was that Adolf guy–hey, as long as our country/team is on top!

          • The other Doug

            “Just win Baby!” gets you a NC and Meyer or Chizik. I’ll take a coach like Richt and a chance at a NC.

            • Skeptic Dawg

              I find it funny that the vast majority of Dawg Nation has this massive love affair with Richt. He is a good man, strong Christian, a great rep for UGA and a decent coach. But over the past 6 years he is not getting the job done. As Gatriguy stated above, Richt is currently on par with Donnan. It is not unthinkable that someone could have done more with the talent in Athens. What makes it worse is that after seasons of 4, 7 and 5 losses Richt is given an extension. So, we watch as the program continues to drop on average 4 games a year as team after team from the SEC wins national titles. Unless you believe the trend of sendig players to Alabama State equating to titles.

              • Charles

                By contrast, I find it encouraging that the “vast majority” of the Dawg Nation is willing to give a great coach (and excellent representative of our university) the benefit of the doubt through a dry period, given the tremendous success we had in the first five years of his tenure (after a 20-year dry period). The “what have you done for me lately” approach has worked extremely well at Tennessee, et al.

                So the BCS beauty pageant didn’t pan out for us in 2002, 2005, or 2007. Go cry to Paul Finebaum about it. Just because there’s one team on an annual basis that wins a national championship doesn’t mean every other program in the top 10 is an unmitigated failure.

                I know people who cover Bammer’s football program. Saban is an unbelievable d*ck. The stories about the “don’t talk to me” policy are entirely true. Saban is a complete mercenary and could give less of a damn about that school, or his players.

                Richt will be a winner again, and without Saban’s megalomania.

              • Puffdawg

                Yo, dummy, what’d Bluto tell you about spam trolling?

                http://blutarsky.wordpress.com/2012/07/01/gtp-housekeeping-follow-up/

                • Skeptic Dawg

                  Not really sure if you read the posts prior to mine or if you simply have a comprehension issue. My post was in response to Gatriguy’s earlier thoughts. So calm down there Paul Blart Blog Cop! As for AusDawg85 below, “..cherry-picking statistics to make a false point?..” This is not cherry-picking stats. What we have seen over the past 6 years is a trend. The Dawgs are not a top 10 program. During the first 5 years of Richt’s career the Dawgs were a top 10 program year in an year out. However, during the past 6 years there have been more years the Dawgs finished outside of the top 25 all together (3- 2006, 2009, 2010) than in the top 10 (2) in addition to last year’s #20 finish. As for playing in the toughest conference, are the Dawgs now Miss State, Vandy or Ole Miss? Should they just give up and join the ACC? What an awful attitude. This program has been passed by under Richt’s tenure. Losses to Vandy, Kentucky (TWICE! In 2006 and 2009), Miss State, Colorado and UCF in the past 6 years. This is not a stat, we are witnessing a trend.

                  • Puffdawg

                    I comprehend exactly what was said. I understood the first 1000 times you said “we average 4 losses per year.” This would be what Bluto was referring to when he said on the linked post, “Just don’t repeat the same arguments in support of it over and over and over again. It’s boring and worse, it turns off others from participating.”

                    Speaking of which, I don’t think you understand what cherry picking is. “This is not cherry-picking stats. What we have seen over the past 6 years is a trend.” By choosing a random time frame which best fits your narrative, you’re doing exactly what Merriam-Webster defines “cherry pick,” which is “to select the best or most desirable.” If you aren’t cherry picking, explain why you chose a 6 year window. Since you’re such a statistics buff, wouldn’t you consider the 2009 and 2010 as outliers given Mark Richt has only dropped more than 4 games in 2 of his 11 seasons at the helm?

                    As for not being a top ten program, allow me to direct you to this link:

                    http://www.rollbamaroll.com/2012/6/7/3069505/the-season-preview-magazines-2012-top-25

                    • Mayor of Dawgtown

                      PD, I agree with you on this one. SD has lumped the last 6 years together and called it a “trend” which he says is downward. The UGA record for the last 6 years is: 2006/9-4; 2007/11-2 (finished #2 in the nation in final BCS rankings); 2008/10-3; 2009/8-5; 2010/6-7; 2011/10-4 (SEC East Champions). Sorry SD but I do not see a downward trend there. I see a variation from year to year in how well the team played. I have been critical of CMR about some of the things that I believe are deficiencies (i.e. roster management, game day coaching decisions, clock management) but nobody need to be just making sh!t up. Could the Dawgs have won more in the last 6 years? Sure. Is the program on a downward trend? Absolutely not!!!!

              • AusDawg85

                Well..(heh, heh)…there you go again!

                First, Richt’s record is demonstrably better than Donnan’s. (On and off the field, I might add.) Didn’t we have this conversation about cherry-picking statistics to make a false point? Donnan didn’t have a good enough record to get to the point where it’s “on par” with Richt’s in the last few years.

                Second…St. Nick has had his share of 5 and 6 loss seasons. So did Dooley and Bear, etc. It happens.

                Third…maybe Urb, Saban, Spurrier, Miles and even Chizik are better than Richt (ok…no, I don’t think Cheater should be in that list), so what kind of record do you expect when we’re facing a unique and rare period of SEC dominance? Think Mack Brown would do better in the SEC? Or Stoops?

                See, there’s the thing. It’s not being a Richt apologist to note that Georgia has been in the toughest conference in the country for perhaps 2 decades now. Those FL, LSU AU and Bama teams all had Heisman winners leading them for God’s sake. The myriad of variables that go into a championship season have just not all fallen into place for UGA, but we are a DAMN lot better than we were in the ’90′s. That goes to Richt’s credit. Can he beat these other guys? Well, he has at one time or another beaten them all. But CMR and the Dawgs have just not been able to put it all together in the same season.

                And there is just no basis…NONE…that Patterson, Petersen, Smart or some hot-shot OC somewhere will do any better. I *currently* support Richt because he has shown he’s capable, and there is truly no other alternative that convinces me they would be better. But times change quickly, and if the program falls further behind because of CMR decisions, then a change will be needed.

                Maybe you aren’t a stealth gator fan. Chik-Fil-A’s are a little dry here in Texas, and Longhorn fans are truly delusional each and every year around this time convinced they will be undefeated and national champions…as a birthright or something. Hook ‘em!

                • Charles

                  And on a totally unrelated note, I’m moving from Athens to Austin in a month. The Austin Dawgs look like a pretty strong group. Hopefully I’ll catch you at a game watching event.

        • Macallanlover

          No Gastri, you were the first one to change/expand the subject of this post. It was about Saban only, not CMR, not a coaching record, crystal footballs, make believe titles, etc. It was you who introduced that, and it you did it in a way that indicated Saban was better than Mark Richt based on the only criteria you seemed to think important because that was the case as you stated it. My observation was that would be a sad commentary on you if you think that is the judge of a man.

          Since you chose to make a comparison, and introduced the myopic concept: can you name a single, just one, other comparison where you feel Richt falls short of Saban? Better person, better husband, better father, better boss, better with the press, better in helping others, better in getting to sincerely know others and their needs, volunteering your time, giving of yourself for others, etc., etc.? I recognize both of us are not in a position to know all those things I asked but based on what we know of two very public people, what would you guess?

          I suspect that Saban is better at being a football coach in some ways than Mark Richt, and Richt is better than Saban in others. All subjective and we could debate forever on that. I can honestly say whomever wins that comparison is not the big issue, what is more important is who I want as the face of the UGA program and I can tell you it is Mark Richt….and it isn’t even close.

          If Tide fans are happy with Saban and the way he runs things, and The aU is happy with Chizik, fine that says a lot about what you and Auburn stand for (or don’t). The concept and traditions of CFB, and how you treat/handle young men at this time of their lives is much bigger than the faux titles you both seem willing to sell out for. Not saying others don’t as well, and UGA has many fans who would too, but not all of us are in that camp. You can beat your chest all you want, but I will put what goes on in Mark Richt’s program ahead of what I see happening in Tusky, or on The Plains. I think it was Lombardi who said: “the measure of a man’s life is in direct comparison to his commitment to excellence”. I don’t think he meant just cut glass.

  8. TL

    “What is my motivation here? Am I trying to recruit this truck to play at the University of Alabama? Am I trying to convince this truck to stay here as my defensive coordinator? WHAT is my motivation???”

    • Scorpio Jones, III

      Will the truck accept a greyshirt?

      • 81Dog

        “you see, I know you have some transmission problems, and I suddenly got a commitment from a Dodge Ram with a Cummins diesel and a Chevy pickup. Or we can just release you to do ads this season with Troy or UAB, because all the other SEC schools have ad contracts signed for this season. Sucks to be you, I guess.”

  9. wake me when it's September

    Saban: Hold the umbrella higher so I will seem to be the height of at least an average sized Asian.

  10. wake me when it's September

    Saban: Which 5 guys should I cut to get down to 85? Flip a coin for me director.

  11. No One Knows You're a Dawg

    “Nick Saban doesn’t have time for this sun.”

  12. Comin' Down The Track

    I’m so sorry, Mr. Saban, my contract clearly states that I’m to be holding the umbrella for a very tall man.

  13. HobnailedBoots

    On a rare occasion out in the sunlight, an assistant shields Nick Saban from the eyes of God.

  14. Dog in Fla

    An almost hermetically shielded Nick watches impatiently as the understudies take their time leaving from the dress rehearsal

    http://famousankles.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/20080621-mermaid-parade-10-getting-a-little-odd.jpg

  15. AusDawg85

    Umbrella Man (thought bubble): “This is what I have to go through to avoid the greyshirt?!”

    And what’s with the Hitler hairdo and beginning of a ‘stache on Saban? Van Gorder got him freaked-out already??

    • Dog in Fla

      Ausdawg 85 wins today for being the first to violate Godwin’s Rule with Kyle, above, coming in a close second. Rumor is that Nick has a side bet with Van Gorder on who will have the most awesome Dirk Diggler stache by the time of the Iron Bowl with the loser having his stache cut off by the winner. If Nick wins, because he doesn’t have time, he will send an Updyke as his proxy to cut off Van Gorder’s.

  16. SemperFiDawg

    Oh yeah coach,it would make a great gift for any of your players. In fact several of our your boosters have bought then for your guys. It will accommodate a lineman up to about this tall.

  17. DR. J

    Coach- The truth is …Alabama needs best boys like you but since that gaffing accident you haven’t been the same…we want you observe the rest of this shoot and think about joining us for the commercials next year…we will have a position for you!

  18. SRhoades14

    “Don’t you know who I am? I’m f’ing Nick Saban! Get me one of those hot chicks that hold the umbrella’s for F1 or GP Moto Drivers!”

  19. Bulldog Joe

    “Oh, piss boy?”

  20. BigDog

    “Nick Saban – Built Ford Tough”

  21. Nate Dawg

    Umbrella holder to director: I don’t know boss, cuz the pitchfork will go this high…won’t that look odd?

  22. DavetheDawg

    “Ford trucks work better than Cadillacs here in Alabama…where we still have a wheel in the ditch and a wheel on the track.”

  23. Charles

    “Uhhh… coach I don’t know why you insist on having an umbrellehr. Those fancy Twilight vampires have no trouble bein’ out in the sun.”

  24. JAX

    Saban actually drives an S550 Benz or a like model. The guy could drive a 1963 Ferrari and no one would care b/c he’s win two NC’s in 2 years. Do I like him?, no, but I have to give credit where credit is due. He’s an ass, but he delivers. Actually, he overdelivers.

  25. Dawg19

    (Saban): “I don’t have time to stand here lke a rock.”

    (Producer): “Umm…wrong brand, Coach…”

  26. Watchman

    Is that a shortbed Ford?

  27. CarolinaDawg

    “I want it parted right down the f’ing middle, just like Richt.”
    “Coach, no one is going to be paying attention to anything but the sweater you wear on your forearms.”

  28. Nate

    That F150 is actually 100 yards away. It’s the only way they could make Saban look taller than the 20″ rims on it. Old school camera tricks FTW.

    • Dave

      I was gonna say:
      The truck is this tall. He’s gonna have to stand closer to the camera or it’ll be over his head on film.

    • 81Dog

      this is the same method Peter Jackson used in Lord of the Rings to make the Hobbits look the correct size, isnt it? Does Nick live in a neighborhood called The Shire?

    • Scott W.

      His is about 5ft or so from it.

  29. Uglydawg

    This commercial is going to make the Dodge and Chevy dealers in places like Auburn. Baton Rouge, Knoxville, and Oxford happy.
    But the umbrella is..to be fair…to keep him from squinting during the filming. I doubt he’s THAT much a prima donna.
    I heard they’re putting a child booster seat on the passenger side so Stevie can enjoy the Garnet hood while Nick drives him around.

    • HobnailedBoots

      They’re regional commercials. They don’t run the Mark Richt commercial in Tennessee or Florida and they won’t run the Nick Saban commercial in Louisiana or Mississippi.

  30. “Can we get a telephone book in here so he at least looks 5 foot 7?”

  31. Objective Bama Fan

    “Man, it really is hot out here. It makes me wish for the days of the dreaded ‘blackout’”

  32. Bulldog Joe

    OBJECTS ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR

  33. Puffdawg

    Pat, of SNL fame – filling in for Saban while he’s away on a recruiting trip – longs for the days of filming indoors while suffering through a Tuscaloosa heat wave.

  34. WarD Eagle

    “For the last time, he said he wanted a Dodge Charger.”

  35. section Z alum

    “where’s my fucking latte?!?!?”

  36. Dawg19

    (Saban): “I’d rather get less miles to the gallon than Les Miles in my truck….”

  37. I’m torn between “We represent the lollipop guild” and “I’m here for the part as an umpa lumpa”

  38. BigEZ

    Nick Saban’s daughter doesn’t have time for her sorority sister shit either