Branded

Jeebus.

Hey, there’s Steve Patterson’s favorite word!

“As a University of Texas alumnus I have long enjoyed the Texas-Oklahoma series and the great tradition it represents for Texas and Oklahoma fans,” said Steve Patterson, The University of Texas Men’s Athletics Director. “We look forward to working with AT&T representatives and the University of Oklahoma to generate excitement for the new name and brand, and continuing our relationships with the State Fair of Texas.”

Yeah, because a 109-year tradition between two of college football’s most storied programs at a famous neutral-site location isn’t really special unless you can refer to a shitty telecommunications company in the name.  First.

If they ever do something similar to the Cocktail Party, I’m losing it.  Unless they sell naming rights to a bourbon distiller, of course.

About these ads

35 Comments

Filed under Big 12 Football, It's Just Bidness

35 responses to “Branded

  1. Jack Klompus

    Well…they did go WLOCP on them by changing the name from the Red River Shootout to the RR Showdown. So, turnabout is fair play. I’m hoping for the Worlds Largest Outdoor Fun Time Football Game Party sponsored by HONEST- Teas & Juices and WHAM-O!

  2. stick jackson

    If? If? Boy, Senator, for such a cynical guy you can be quite the starry-eyed idealist sometimes.

    It is true that they’ll first have to come up with and then drive home to some plausible level of visibility a new, corporate-friendly made up name. But then? Doneski.

    Because why? Because, and here I quote, if you don’t, “there’s a cost to that.”

  3. Lrgk9

    World’s two highest rated whiskies here: http://oldripvanwinkle.com Now that’s a sponsor!

  4. Always Someone Else's Fault

    Really interesting switch: Red River Rivalry to Red River Showdown.

    Is showdown more attractive to an advertiser? Less problematic to a certain AD ducking another rivalry game? Some combination of the above?

    Sounds like an MMA match now.

    • Dog in Fla

      The 2013 game was the “Red River Death Match” where oddly enough the coach who was supposed to lose didn’t but was still shitcanned anyway as part of an overall re-branding effort

  5. Mayor of Dawgtown

    I’m really looking forward to the Dawgs’ season opener at Delta-Sanford Stadium sponsored by Coca-Cola this season.

    • Normaltown Mike

      Between the Lowe’s Home and Garden hedges!

      • 81Dog

        you know, the sad part is we mocked the Techsters when they started selling sponsorships to home games several years ago. Now, we’re pretty much putting corporate logos on every square inch of the stadium, and rapidly approaching the point where every second the ball isn’t in play, some advertiser is assaulting our senses with some mega decibel scoreboard and/or “ribbon board” video.

        I can understand tv sponsorships. If you want the game piped to your living room in HD, that’s the price you pay. If you care enough to go in person, you should be spared some of the more obvious, and annoying, chances to become “a revenue stream” that UGA seeks to “monetize” by taking advantage of “under realized opportunities” in the stadium.

        • Mayor of Dawgtown

          +1. This has made the game ‘experience” less rather than more. And they ( B-Mers) wonder why demand is starting to slip.

        • Wil

          They do that because they want the three fans that came in from the new SEC school Southeastern Idaho State University College to go back to his Pocatello home and tell everybody how good Golden Flake potato chips are.

        • Gaskilldawg

          Hey, don’t knock the attemt to make the in game experience more like the viewing at home. Bunch of AD folks sit around a desk asking, “What does the guy at have watching at home that he does not have in the stadium?” Another said, “Idon’t know, commercials, maybe?” Everyone looked at each other and said, “Genius!” So, 81, celebrate the effort to make the stadium fan replicate the in home experience. The ADs sacrifice for us!

          • Mayor of Dawgtown

            Record the games and fast-forward past the commercials. Much better.

          • 81Dog

            Me, I would preferred they started with something simple, like NOT TAKING THE F*&^$%^ CAP OFF MY BOTTLED COKE THAT I PAID ABOUT 20 BUCKS FOR. I always get to keep that at home.

            Like I’m going to lob my Coke at someone. The only thing I can do with the cap that I can’t do without the cap is NOT SPILL MY FREAKING COKE.

            I appreciate their sacrifice on my behalf, but unless McGarity is selling all those Coke tops for about $400 an ounce, I’d appreciate it if maybe he’d just let me keep mine. Oh, and maybe blow up the ribbon board, and slip the PA screamer who does all the “Find UGA under the French fry box” commercials an Ambien about an hour before kickoff. If I wanted infantile videos to watch, I’d be home catching up on Peppa Pig on Nickolodeon
            Baby steps, dude.

  6. Dog in Fla

    For his next “branding” procedure, Steve promises free French’s® Mustard with the purchase of every Fletcher’s Original State Fair ®™© ℠ Corny Dogs for everyone before he offshores the State Fair®™© ℠ to the beautiful and exciting southern port city of Aden in what used to be the secessionist Democratic Republic of Yemen™

    http://bigtex.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/fairfood2.jpg

  7. Moe Pritchett

    Live from Jacksonville, Florida! Welcome to the SEC and CBS’s presentation of the 93rd Annual Worlds Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party sponsored by Jim Beam.

    • Dog in Fla

      With the fights outside the Gator Bowl being brought to you by Old Crow® Reserve because when it comes to “Drinking the Bottom Shelf™ – “Yes,” she© ℠ said, “Let’s drink Old Crow.”

  8. Reipar

    Maybe it could be the wlocp sponsored by o’douls. That would satisfy everyone right.

  9. Normaltown Mike

    “If they ever do something similar to the Cocktail Party, I’m losing it. Unless they sell naming rights to a bourbon distiller, of course”

    What about a bourbon distributor?

    • Mayor of Dawgtown

      OK,OK. How about the “Jack Daniels World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party brought to you by Classic City Beverages?”

      • ugafidelis

        Well Jack Daniels is a Tennessee sour mash whiskey and not technically a bourbon.

        • Mayor of Dawgtown

          OK, OK, OK. “The Jim Beam World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party brought to you by Classic City Beverages.” Better?

  10. 81Dog

    OPEN SCENE:

    Greg McGarity, hunched over the computer in his office. His lips are moving, as he reads Get The Picture, and the post “Branded.” A look of concern, slowly degrading into fear, then panic, comes over his tired face.

    He reaches for his office phone, and punches in a number from memory. .

    McGarity: Hey, it’s Greg McGarity from UGA. Is your marketing director in?May I please speak to him?

    Secretary: Hold, please, Mr. McGarity.

    Marketing director: Hi, Greg. What’s up?

    GMG: Listen, I may have to rething that whole corporate partnership for the game in Jacksonville. While I personally love “Raspberry Mango Snapple Presents the World’s Largest Outdoor Snapple Party,” it occurs to me that some of our fans may not be quite ready for a move this forward thinking.”

    Marketing director: But, Greg, we’ve talked about this. I assure you it will be done with the utmost respect for tradition. I’ve lined Bill Maher up to narrate “And then An Unspecified Higher Power Who May Be a Figment of Our Imaginations Made a Bulldog Fan Drink A Snapple.” Grown men will weep in the aisles. Our research indicates this will be very popular with millenials, if any of them have gotten up early enough for the 7pm kickoff, and also with the demographic of former university presidents who have been informed that the proceeds from this corporate sellout, errrrrrrrrrr, unique revenue stream, will be used to create an annuity that will cover his spa mud treatments in perpetuity. What could possibly go wrong.?”

    GMG: You’re right. Fortune favors the bold. Faint hearts never get laid. When in doubt, attack. Let’s do it.

    FADE TO BLACK

  11. Scorpio Jones, III

    If there is a buck to be made, slime will always rise to the occasion.

    Man, the off-season is getting to be more of a test than the season.

  12. gatorhater27

    Clean old fashioned hate, brought to you by Chicfila.

    #stole it from treybo

  13. Ole Dawg

    Clemson vs South Carolina
    Brought to you by…Viagra

    • Mayor of Dawgtown

      Is that “Dicks vs. Cocks?”

    • Union Jack

      From what I have heard from family in NE Ohio, the City of Akron is interested in their own Labor Day weekend football kickoff extravaganza. The want the two USC’s to stage a game at the Rubber Bowl – Cocks vs Trojans.

  14. cube

    The revolution will not be brought to you by Xerox

  15. How about the Michigan-Ohio State game brought to you by the Turnip Growers of America?

  16. gastr1

    Seems to me branding the rivalry is whole lot better than what they did to Nebraska-Oklahoma, Kansas-Missouri,
    and Texas-Texas A & M.

  17. Nashville West

    I remember a short lived TV show back in the 60’s called “Branded” about an army officer in the old west who was kicked out for cowardice. The implication was that being “branded” was to be disgraced. Hmmm, maybe those guys were on to something.