I got a kick out of this piece mocking the offers that are going out to kids who haven’t played a down of varsity high school football yet. Particularly this bit:
“It seemed like just yesterday that Nick Saban `accidentally’ walked in on me at my obstetrician’s office while I was getting my sonogram. He took one look at the image on the picture, well actually two looks because he wanted to make sure it was a boy, and just started muttering, `Look at the size of those hands. They are bigger than his head.’”
It’s the “two looks” that made this a winner. LOL.
Last word on the Louisville coordinator hires goes to Robert Weintraub, who delivers this gem:
In this climate, even Kevin Ramsey, who was so incompetent as UGA defensive coordinator in 1999 that he allegedly was relieved of his duties at halftime of the bowl game and subsequently supposedly punched out Bulldogs head coach Jim Donnan, could land a new gig (with a higher salary, natch) within 48 hours.
I hear ‘ya.
I wish I had written every word of this. “Alabama athletic director Bill Battle pre-emptively notified the NCAA of forthcoming violations.” LMAO.
I love this, Matt Hinton:
Evil Richt. After tearing down the field for a touchdown on its opening possession, Georgia called for an onside kick on the ensuing kickoff for no reason whatsoever except screw you, that’s why, and caught South Carolina napping on the recovery. Back-to-back possessions kept the already gassed Gamecock defense on the field for another four-and-a-half minutes, leading to a field goal to extend the early lead to 10–3. The tone was set: From there, Georgia only punted once and never trailed.
You gotta love Paul Myerberg’s lede in his look at preseason #14 (!) Florida:
Florida has scored 647 points in coach Will Muschamp’s first two seasons, scoring 331 points in 2011 and 344 points in 2012 for an overall average of 25.92 points per game. Florida ranked eighth in the SEC in scoring in 2011 and 10th a year ago, though the latter didn’t stop the Gators from reaching a BCS bowl, the program’s seventh.
But no Florida teams since 1988-89 had ever scored fewer points during a two-year span – and in Gainesville, 1988-89 are known more popularly as “the two years prior to Steve Spurrier’s arrival.”
I’m sure Gator fans would agree, if any of ‘em would admit to remembering that era. Or maybe they just refer to that time as “B.S.” (before Spurrier).
From start to finish, this is freakin’ hilarious. And it makes the underlying point about production on the field trumping everything quite well.
Andy Staples, with a nice pile on about the Antonio Morrison arrest:
Surely, defense-attorney-to-the-Gators Huntley Johnson will argue handcuffing and booking a 19-year-old for unauthorized canine interaction is a bit overzealous. Johnson likely will argue Morrison, already on the hook for two ride-alongs, simply wanted to have another meaningful dialogue with a law enforcement officer. According to Deputy William Arnold’s report, Morrison explained later that he barked only after Bear barked at him. Arnold was not sufficiently moved by Morrison’s reasoning.
I expect to see the fruits of a creative Dawgnation on display in Jacksonville this year. In the meantime, that’ll do.
I’ve linked to this remarkable Joe Posnanski piece about Herschel before, but since he chose to repost it in the wake of Willis Walker passing, I thought it was worth mentioning it again. Read it; you won’t regret it.
My favorite bit in there? Hands down: “And then there was this freshman from a little town in Georgia who people were whispering about. He was the new thing. Rogers was Pat Boone. Herschel was James Brown.”
Now I realize that “check out the hypocrisy of college athletics!” articles are a dime a dozen these days, but damn, this one’s really well written. This line in particular just about made me swoon:
In 2011, Slive — a man whose joy-evoking athletic talent has never inspired a single jersey purchase, let alone a lucrative television rights bidding war — reportedly received nearly $1.6 million in compensation from a conference that is considered a non-profit organization by the Internal Revenue Service.
I only wish there’d been some way to fit a Michael Adams reference in there somewhere.
If you’re jonesing for a heavy dose of sarcasm this morning, go no further.
As Kyle King takes his farewell tour at Dawg Sports, I thought this brief comment about the new “Recreation and Wellness Center” being constructed on the Plains might be a source of amusement for a man who hates Auburn with a passion:
So Auburn did took the next logical step and built… a 45 person, tiger-paw-shaped hot tub that is bound to have the most disease-ridden water in Alabama – no small feat – within days of entering into service.
Not a bad takedown, if I say so myself.