That win looks a lot better now.

Gene Chizik just called Ole Miss "the best 2-5 team in the country."—
Evan Woodbery (@auburnbeat) October 25, 2011

Granted, Ole Miss does have a helluva punt team.  But how bad are things for the Nuttster to be getting patronized by a guy who used to coach Iowa State for a living?

(h/t Jason Kirk)

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NCAA to Chizik: it’s not over until we say it’s over.

It’s hard to say whether this exchange was born from innocence or arrogance, but it probably wasn’t the brightest move on the part of the Auburn head coach:

… Julie Roe Lach, the N.C.A.A.’s vice president for enforcement, made a presentation to the group, which included every men’s basketball coach, football coach and athletic director in the conference. When she opened up the room for discussion, Auburn’s football coach, Gene Chizik, raised his hand first.

He peppered Roe Lach with a flurry of questions about the N.C.A.A.’s investigation into Cam Newton and why the N.C.A.A. had not publicly announced that the investigation was over. Chizik complained that the inquiry’s open-ended nature had hurt Auburn’s recruiting and he followed up at least three times, leading to a testy exchange.

“You’ll know when we’re finished,” Roe Lach told Chizik, according to several coaches who were at the meeting. “And we’re not finished.”

As amazed as I am that Chizik would try to show her up in front of other coaches like that, you know what really amazes me?  How a story like that – again, in front of witnesses – doesn’t get reported until a month later by the New York Times.  What were all the southern fried reporters doing then, getting suntans?  Or, worse, did some of them sit on this?

Tuesday morning buffet

Tasty morsels from the world of college football:

• This can’t be good:  “UT now has just eight scholarship seniors, and more than 70 percent of the roster is freshmen and sophomores.”
• Gene Chizik blames his higher-ups at Iowa State for the unpleasantness surrounding his departure.  Nice.
• Paul Westerdawg returns to a subject I’ve harped on here:  accountability.
• There sure are a lot of factors complicating Big East football expansion.  And the conference turned down a $1 billion TV package from ESPN?  Dayum.
• Speaking of TV packages, it’s probably a good thing Georgia Tech isn’t in the Big East right now.  The Jackets need every penny of that ACC broadcast revenue.
• Leather Helmet Blog scouts the South Carolina defense.
• Is Chip Kelly really this stupid?  Or does he just think the NCAA is?

Chizik: no worries, mon.

Since I know nobody reading here is going to rush out and buy Gene Chizik’s memoirs, let me just end the suspense for you right now:  he was never worried about losing Cam Newton to suspension.

“If we’d had any level of concern regarding Cameron’s eligibility, we would not have put him on the field and risked forfeiting games for playing an ineligible player,” he wrote.

Hurp… durp… wait a minute… wasn’t… oh, yeah.

Auburn quarterback Cam Newton is eligible to play in the SEC title game this weekend, though the NCAA says his father broke rules by shopping his son to another school.

The NCAA released its finding in a statement Wednesday. The college sports governing body had concluded Monday that a violation of Newton’s amateur status had occurred. Auburn declared Newton ineligible Tuesday and requested his eligibility be reinstated.

I’ve given up trying to parse this.  Besides, Chizik only devotes two pages out of the entire 282-page magnum opus to the Newton story.  If he doesn’t think it’s a big deal, why should we?

There ain’t enough room in the state for both of ‘em.

Shorter Kevin Scarbinsky:  if Jay Jacobs were a neutral observer like I am, he’d kiss Nick Saban’s arse, too.

“Being great is what?”

Auburn, the next thing on your shopping list should be an editor for Gene Chizik.

The morning after on the Plains

With Friday’s dismissal of the four players arrested on armed robbery charges, Gene Chizik’s got a helluva job ahead of him.  And, no, it’s not making people like Scarbinsky happy.  It’s this:

The arrests and quick dismissal of four Auburn football players won’t dramatically change the Tigers’ 2011 opening day lineup, but it has created more holes on a roster that will be radically different than the one that won the national championship eight weeks ago.

The Tigers have lost at least 32 players since they beat Oregon for the BCS title, including five players who have been dismissed following arrests in the last two weeks. [Emphasis added.]

The good news there is that the dismissed kids didn’t make the situation much worse.  The bad news is that the roster was already thinned out before the arrests.

… Auburn returns only three starters on offense and three on defense, and neither of its kickers.

The Tigers must replace their top passer and rusher, in quarterback Cam Newton; three of their four top receivers; and seven of their top nine tacklers.

The high-profile work will come when the Tigers seek to replace their three juniors who have left for the NFL draft. Gone are Newton, defensive tackle Nick Fairley and wide receiver Darvin Adams and their considerable statistics. Auburn is also losing 24 seniors, 20 of whom either started or played a significant role last season.

Piece of cake.

Wednesday morning buffet

It takes all kinds of things to fill a buffet.

• This may be the most inane criticism of Gene Chizik you’ll ever read.
• According to the Harris Poll, college football continues to hold steady as the third most popular sport for Americans.
• Texas A&M athletic director Bill Byrne wonders if Texas’ new cable network with ESPN could conflict with NCAA recruiting rules about contact with high school prospects.
• Lane Kiffin exploits a loophole in signing this year’s class.
• Here’s how to measure whether a school’s offseason workout program is sufficiently intense.
• Sometimes it’s not so much that the rich are different from you and me, it’s just that they’re bigger assholes.  (Not to mention that you have to question the judgment of a guy who throws a ginormous temper tantrum over not hiring Steve Addazio.)
• Hugh Nall discusses Georgia’s coaching staff vacancy, among other things.
• With all the excitement building over Florida’s spring, how soon is it before some pundit declares that Charlie Weis has remade John Brantley into the SEC’s second-best quarterback?
• If that happens, Stan Drayton won’t be there to share in the buzz.
• Record BCS revenues can only mean one thing:  PlayoffPAC is miffed.  “That imbalance [ed. - revenue distribution between the Big Six and the mid-majors] is unconscionable, given that it has no basis in post-season performance on the field and in the marketplace…” If the mids can match performance in the marketplace, why bother to stick around with the BCS anyway?

Tuesday morning buffet

As far as I know, the buffet is not under review by the SEC office.

• Nice twofer:  Meyer announces that Addazio’s job is safe and John Brantley is denying transfer rumors.
• Meanwhile, Gator Nation tries to come to grips with what might have been.
• Now you know why they’re drinking.
• Pretty amazing story:  “Coach Kiffin was like, ‘You don’t want to go in?’” Poole said. “I was like, ‘No. I should have been playing all year. I don’t want to go in there with three minutes left in the Memphis game.’”
• Good to know that Coach Chizik has skin in the Camgate game.
• Vuvuzelas will make an appearance at a college football game and the world will not end:  “The horns may distract the marching bands, but they don’t violate any NCAA rules, and Harvard has no plans to confiscate them, a school spokesman said.”
• If God has a sense of humor, this will prove it.
• Chip Kelly, BCS bargain.
• The Wiz gives us a few of Nick Fairley’s greatest hits.

Cry “bullshit”, and let loose the dogs of war.

Under NCAA rules, the two Auburn players who were ejected will have to sit out the first half of the Tigers’ next game, which is against Alabama.

“Just really disappointed in that,” Auburn coach Gene Chizik said. “That’s a lot of reflection on us as coaches, and I’m embarrassed by it. That’s not who we are. That’s not the way we carry ourselves, and we will address it tomorrow. . . . I am not happy about it at all.”

Funny… he didn’t seem that upset while it was going on.

As a general rule, I’m not big on the Corch Meyers “We’ll handle it, and it’s going to be a big deal” approach to motivating the troops, but I think I’m ready to make an exception in this case.