Category Archives: General Idiocy

Thursday morning buffet

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Filed under 'Cock Envy, ACC Football, BCS/Playoffs, Big 12 Football, College Football, ESPN Is The Devil, General Idiocy, Georgia Football, It's Just Bidness

Why we can’t have nice things.

I swear, for all the days that I’ve complained that Mark Richt burned through the good will he banked from the fan base, there are times when I wonder if he couldn’t do a lot better than us.  Like, say, when I read this:

A caller to Richt’s radio show on Monday night wanted Barber to wear something other than orange shoes.

“They’re not orange,” Barber said of the Nike Vapor shoes. “On the Internet, they were like solar red. They do look more pink than anything, but I love the cleat. It fits great and is really lightweight.”

Barber said his teammates haven’t said a word about them.

Richt called the color “Georgia peach.”

No word on whether Richt muttered “are you effing kidding me?” under his breath upon hearing the complaint.

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Filed under General Idiocy, Georgia Football

The dumbest comment you’ll read today.

Words fail me.

“I’ve always felt like, to have a successful team, you gotta have a few bad citizens on the team,” Pinkett told the show. “I mean, that’s how Ohio State used to win all the time. They would have two or three guys that were criminals. That just adds to the chemistry of the team. I think Notre Dame is growing because maybe they have some guys that are doing something worthy of a suspension, which creates edge on the football team. You can’t have a football team full of choir boys. You get your butt kicked if you have a team full of choir boys. You gotta have a little bit of edge, but the coach has to be the dictator and ultimate ruler.”

Pinkett would then clarify what he meant by “criminals.”

“I don’t want any mass murders or rapists,” Pinkett said. “I want guys that maybe get caught drinking that are underage, or guys that maybe got arrested because they got in a fight at a bar, or guys that are willing to cuss in public and don’t mind the repercussions of it. That’s the type of criminal I’m talking about.”

Yeah, I can see how a mass murderer could adversely affect team chemistry.  Total downer, man.

This guy is actually a radio analyst for Notre Dame.  Any bets on how long he keeps that job?

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Every fan base has ‘em.

Morons, that is.  Georgia is hardly immune.

A person claiming to be a UGA fan recently called one of the team’s top football recruits to clarify the status of his commitment to the Bulldogs.

The ill-advised contact between the “fan” and the prospect and the story behind it instantly went viral on Twitter, and ignited heated discussions on a UGA team website and Rivals.com’s national message boards.  It also created some speculation that UGA may have to report an NCAA secondary violation — even though UGA appeared to have nothing to do with the phone call, and the unidentified person claiming to be a UGA fan may be a fan of another school.

Sadly, the school is having to waste resources verifying that no secondary violation occurred.

And this is why I don’t get in the recruiting weeds here:

“Here’s all I know,” said Steve Patterson, publisher of UGASports.com. “One of my guys contacted me and said there was somebody on DawgVent saying they had been calling prospects of UGA. As we all know, that’s against NCAA bylaws, which are very encompassing when it comes to things stuff like that …

“The site staff removed the post. Then after that, the guy went on and on about how could do that if he wanted, and [to heck with] the NCAA. Then the guy sent some harassing emails to our staff. They contacted me and asked what to do, and I said blacklist him and have him contact me. That’s the last we all heard of it until he made some other posts around the Internet.

“He threatened to say he was going to call prospects, and then call Coach Richt and say we instructed him to do this, which is absurd…”

Sounds like somebody needs to find another hobby.  Or get laid.

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Filed under General Idiocy, Georgia Football, Recruiting

Let Freedom Explode!

The Fourth of July, a time to reflect on our great nation and the unfettered right to be stupid.

 

**sniff** Just like the Founding Fathers envisioned it.

 

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Filed under General Idiocy

He’s not an attorney, although he plays a tight end on TV.

Between Crowell’s dismissal and my moroseness over what I suspect college football’s powers that be are cooking up for us, I figure we’re all more than a little down in the mouth.  We could do with a little cheering up about now.  I can’t arrange a group hug and I can’t think of a way to pass around a big enough bottle of 20-year old Pappy, but I think I’ve got something else that might do the trick.

And that would be the story of one Fred Davis, a Washington Redskin in his day job and ace legal defender of Fred Davis otherwise.  If a story the Washington Post titled “Fred Davis accused of throwing juice on a woman his body guard claims is a pimp” (h/t Chris Brown) can’t get your juices flowing, Jack, you dead.

If anything, his story is better than the Post headline indicates.  Sure, the gory details are as salacious as you’d hope, but the real hilarity comes from both parties’ decision to take Peoples Court-style justice to the DC Superior Court.  Yes, they’re both representing themselves.  And they’re spectacular.  My absolute favorite part of the story comes from Davis’ former legal advisor (now there’s a job you couldn’t pay me enough to take):

“It’s just all made up and flagellant,” Davis told the judge during his closing argument. (Davis has no formal legal training, according to Jean Kuei, Davis’s former attorney.)

No shit, Jean.  I never would have guessed.

The trial is scheduled for March 11, 2013.  Mark it on your calendars.  Outside of Mike Leach getting Craig James on the stand, there isn’t much other litigation I’m as eagerly looking forward to as that.

By the way, fair warning:  I am so using “It’s just all made up and flagellant” as my new catch phrase.  In fact, you don’t know how close I am to replacing the blog motto with it.

Anyway, enjoy.  I hope this makes up for some of the gloom and doom.

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A sign the apocalypse is almost upon us.

UCLA finds itself obligated to issue a statement defending itself against the argument that athletic scholarships should be means tested.

We’re losing our collective minds, people.

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“This Could Very Well Be The Stupidest Person On The Face Of The Earth.”

You know, cynics, a group in which I count myself as a member, are made, not born.  It’s not like you emerge from the womb thinking the worst of everyone.  It takes years of practice and experience to get there.  But, still, there’s a part of me who wants to believe most people deserve better than that.

Which brings me to Michigan AD Dave Brandon, who really would be better served by not opening his mouth so often.  I mentioned the other day how puzzled I am over the Big Ten’s decision to abandon its position of being in favor of having on-campus sites host the national semi-finals in the new college postseason arrangement.  As weird as that strikes me, Brandon had to go and try to explain things (h/t MGoBlog).  That only made it worse.

… Brandon understands the advantage a Big Ten team would gain from a playoff game on its campus but also realizes it’s not fair for schools across the country to play in the cold weather. Brandon also said he polled U-M players, who said they like to go to warm-weather bowl sites.

I give up.  These guys really are that dumb.  If I were the folks at ESPN, once I got them signed on the dotted line for the next postseason TV deal, I’d invite ‘em all over for a friendly game of poker.  There’s no reason to leave them with any money in their wallets.

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Filed under General Idiocy

Teh stoopid – it burns!

A couple of truly shake your head in wonder dumb, dumb articles:

–  The conference commissioners, panicked by falling postseason ratings and attendance numbers, are on track to reform the BCS such that the money train will pick up speed.  Sure, the inevitable turf wars have ensued, but these guys know they have certain common goals.  Which makes this Rachel Bachman article in the WSJ such a special disconnect from reality.  She argues that the Big Ten and Pac-12 should pull out of the BCS to… I don’t want to diminish the impact with a paraphrase here:  “… serve the greater glory of the best thing about college football: the Rose Bowl.”  Even better, she says that would force the networks to face a tough decision:  “Do they want to plunge into a playoff or bask in the glow of tradition?”  I can’t make that shit up if I tried.

–  But as dumb as that is, I think I’d have to say this Kevin Scarbinsky piece is even farther out.  At least you can say Bachman’s writing out of some sense of romance about what is, still, a tradition, albeit one that’s compromised itself in the BCS era.  Scarbinsky, though, honestly wants to convince the world that Jim Delany’s reference to “that team” in the context of the Big Ten commissioner’s push to form a D-1 playoff in his own image has awakened a sleeping giant in Tuscaloosa:  “The Crimson Tide has been handed a new motivational slogan.”  Ooh.  What’s Nick Saban been doing lately, if he hasn’t begun preparing his team for the season opener?  I was going to spend a lot more effort strafing this piece of junk, but I’m outsourcing it to Brian Cook instead.

GODDAMMIT JIM DELANY NOW ALABAMA IS GOING TO SHOW UP IN DALLAS AND TRY TO WIN. OUR WHOLE PLAN WAS THIS: DO NOT MAKE ALABAMA FEEL LIKE THEY SHOULD WIN THIS FOOTBALL GAME. OUR WHOLE PLAN IS NOW: AAAAAAAAIIIIEEEEEE. I SHOULD SHAKE YOU, SCREAMING “GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF” AND YES I KNOW THAT’S IRONIC.

Aiight?

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Filed under General Idiocy, Media Punditry/Foibles

Friday morning buffet

Congrats, you made it!  Now have some football.

  • Quayvon Hicks thinks Zander Ogletree is a “great man”… just not a big man.  (Seeing as Hicks just won a state title in the discus throw, I’m not gonna argue with him.)
  • North Carolina’s ACC peers aren’t very happy with its Butch Davis-era NCAA violations.
  • Michael Elkon confirms that I made a good decision not to listen to the absurd Buzz Bissinger debate (using the term loosely) about banning college football.
  • But I sure as hell would have tuned in for thisLeach said, “I would have massacred those people. I would have loved to been part of that debate.”
  • Mark Richt has some thoughtful observations about concussion safety and where football might be headed as a result.
  • Boise State may be having second thoughts about joining the Big East, in part because the TV money may not be there.
  • Years after the demise of the Blue-Gray Game, it looks like Montgomery will be hosting a new “College Football All Star Game”.
  • Derek Dooley, Roy Adams and Adolf Hitler.  Who says Tennessee football isn’t fun?

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Filed under ACC Football, Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange, Big East Football, College Football, General Idiocy, Georgia Football, It's Just Bidness, Mike Leach. Yar!, The Body Is A Temple