Category Archives: General Idiocy

Musburger gets it on: the game sucked, but the girlfriend was hot.

A brief primer on the other story from the title game, in the form of five questions:

  • Was Katherine Webb’s presence at the title game noteworthy?  As an Auburn student rooting for her Alabama quarterback boyfriend, sure.
  • Was there anything wrong with commenting on Webb’s appearance?  She’s a former Miss Alabama.  It’s kind of hard not to notice.  Herbstreit’s “A J’s doing some things right” comment struck the correct, brief and witty tone about that.
  • Was Musburger’s commentary too pervy?  Put it this way:  spoken while knocking back a couple of cold ones with the guys in private, nobody cares.  It’s just typical horndog talk.  But coming from a 70-something dispensing love advice to the teenaged forlorn during a football broadcast heard by millions, yeah, it was cringeworthy.
  • Given ESPN’s firing of Ron Franklin for a couple of sexist comments, was the network a bit hypocritical issuing this lame-ass apology for Musburger’s comments?  Do I really even need to answer that question?
  • Was this inevitable?  Sadly, yes.

As for this, just shoot me.

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UPDATE:  Mr. Conventional Wisdom gets the penultimate observation…

… but it’s Josh Kendall for the win.

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117 Comments

Filed under ESPN Is The Devil, General Idiocy, Political Wankery

Get after her ass.

We all have our ways of coping with grief.  And that SECCG loss was brutal.  Just ask Jana Annette Lawrence.

An intoxicated Georgia Bulldog fan allegedly wreaked havoc at two Dacula restaurants Saturday, groping, licking and flashing fellow patrons before being arrested.

A Gwinnett County police officer was called to the El Jinete restaurant on Liam Avenue at about 7:15 p.m. Saturday, about the time Georgia and Alabama’s SEC football championship game was winding down. Jana Annette Lawrence, 46, had already been kicked out of the establishment, police said, and had left quite an impression.

Inspiration for the header:

By the time authorities arrived, Lawrence was already being removed from Friends, the sports bar next door.

Friends’ owner told police that Lawrence had sat down at the bar with “her butt exposed.” When she was told to leave, she allegedly “pulled her pants down further.”

There’s a Finebaum segment hiding in there somewhere, I suspect.

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UPDATE:  Evidently this wasn’t Jana’s first rodeo.  Holy crap.

43 Comments

Filed under General Idiocy, Georgia Football

Shots fired!

Maybe it’s just me, but if my team is 2-7, I’m kinda hoping it’s the other side who provides bulletin board material.

We may have just gotten the answer to this question.

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UPDATE:  Evidently, it’s simply a matter of going out and executing.

“You’ve got to be able to get your hands on him, block him,” Slade said. “He’s a good player, but you can stop him. It’s not that hard. You’ve just got to go out there and make the calls, go out there and execute the calls and know that he’s probably going to be on the side where the tackle will be made…”

Will Muschamp is having a V8 moment now.  If only he’d known!

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UPDATE #2:  Jarvis yawns.

“He’s a competitive guy,” Jones said. “He feels like if he can get his hands on me, he’ll be fine. If he wants to come see me, that’s fine. So that’s how I feel.”

32 Comments

Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands, General Idiocy, Georgia Football

Last night’s “oy, vey” award goes to…

Really, I’m having a hard time deciding who’s the bigger douche nozzle:  do I go with Bobby Hebert for getting kicked out of the press box for excessive cheering, or Nick Saban for bringing SEAL Team Six into the mix on his team’s win?

Tough call.

18 Comments

Filed under General Idiocy

Thursday morning buffet

Step right up and dig in.

35 Comments

Filed under 'Cock Envy, ACC Football, BCS/Playoffs, Big 12 Football, College Football, ESPN Is The Devil, General Idiocy, Georgia Football, It's Just Bidness

Why we can’t have nice things.

I swear, for all the days that I’ve complained that Mark Richt burned through the good will he banked from the fan base, there are times when I wonder if he couldn’t do a lot better than us.  Like, say, when I read this:

A caller to Richt’s radio show on Monday night wanted Barber to wear something other than orange shoes.

“They’re not orange,” Barber said of the Nike Vapor shoes. “On the Internet, they were like solar red. They do look more pink than anything, but I love the cleat. It fits great and is really lightweight.”

Barber said his teammates haven’t said a word about them.

Richt called the color “Georgia peach.”

No word on whether Richt muttered “are you effing kidding me?” under his breath upon hearing the complaint.

28 Comments

Filed under General Idiocy, Georgia Football

The dumbest comment you’ll read today.

Words fail me.

“I’ve always felt like, to have a successful team, you gotta have a few bad citizens on the team,” Pinkett told the show. “I mean, that’s how Ohio State used to win all the time. They would have two or three guys that were criminals. That just adds to the chemistry of the team. I think Notre Dame is growing because maybe they have some guys that are doing something worthy of a suspension, which creates edge on the football team. You can’t have a football team full of choir boys. You get your butt kicked if you have a team full of choir boys. You gotta have a little bit of edge, but the coach has to be the dictator and ultimate ruler.”

Pinkett would then clarify what he meant by “criminals.”

“I don’t want any mass murders or rapists,” Pinkett said. “I want guys that maybe get caught drinking that are underage, or guys that maybe got arrested because they got in a fight at a bar, or guys that are willing to cuss in public and don’t mind the repercussions of it. That’s the type of criminal I’m talking about.”

Yeah, I can see how a mass murderer could adversely affect team chemistry.  Total downer, man.

This guy is actually a radio analyst for Notre Dame.  Any bets on how long he keeps that job?

37 Comments

Filed under General Idiocy

Every fan base has ‘em.

Morons, that is.  Georgia is hardly immune.

A person claiming to be a UGA fan recently called one of the team’s top football recruits to clarify the status of his commitment to the Bulldogs.

The ill-advised contact between the “fan” and the prospect and the story behind it instantly went viral on Twitter, and ignited heated discussions on a UGA team website and Rivals.com’s national message boards.  It also created some speculation that UGA may have to report an NCAA secondary violation — even though UGA appeared to have nothing to do with the phone call, and the unidentified person claiming to be a UGA fan may be a fan of another school.

Sadly, the school is having to waste resources verifying that no secondary violation occurred.

And this is why I don’t get in the recruiting weeds here:

“Here’s all I know,” said Steve Patterson, publisher of UGASports.com. “One of my guys contacted me and said there was somebody on DawgVent saying they had been calling prospects of UGA. As we all know, that’s against NCAA bylaws, which are very encompassing when it comes to things stuff like that …

“The site staff removed the post. Then after that, the guy went on and on about how could do that if he wanted, and [to heck with] the NCAA. Then the guy sent some harassing emails to our staff. They contacted me and asked what to do, and I said blacklist him and have him contact me. That’s the last we all heard of it until he made some other posts around the Internet.

“He threatened to say he was going to call prospects, and then call Coach Richt and say we instructed him to do this, which is absurd…”

Sounds like somebody needs to find another hobby.  Or get laid.

24 Comments

Filed under General Idiocy, Georgia Football, Recruiting

Let Freedom Explode!

The Fourth of July, a time to reflect on our great nation and the unfettered right to be stupid.

 

**sniff** Just like the Founding Fathers envisioned it.

 

5 Comments

Filed under General Idiocy

He’s not an attorney, although he plays a tight end on TV.

Between Crowell’s dismissal and my moroseness over what I suspect college football’s powers that be are cooking up for us, I figure we’re all more than a little down in the mouth.  We could do with a little cheering up about now.  I can’t arrange a group hug and I can’t think of a way to pass around a big enough bottle of 20-year old Pappy, but I think I’ve got something else that might do the trick.

And that would be the story of one Fred Davis, a Washington Redskin in his day job and ace legal defender of Fred Davis otherwise.  If a story the Washington Post titled “Fred Davis accused of throwing juice on a woman his body guard claims is a pimp” (h/t Chris Brown) can’t get your juices flowing, Jack, you dead.

If anything, his story is better than the Post headline indicates.  Sure, the gory details are as salacious as you’d hope, but the real hilarity comes from both parties’ decision to take Peoples Court-style justice to the DC Superior Court.  Yes, they’re both representing themselves.  And they’re spectacular.  My absolute favorite part of the story comes from Davis’ former legal advisor (now there’s a job you couldn’t pay me enough to take):

“It’s just all made up and flagellant,” Davis told the judge during his closing argument. (Davis has no formal legal training, according to Jean Kuei, Davis’s former attorney.)

No shit, Jean.  I never would have guessed.

The trial is scheduled for March 11, 2013.  Mark it on your calendars.  Outside of Mike Leach getting Craig James on the stand, there isn’t much other litigation I’m as eagerly looking forward to as that.

By the way, fair warning:  I am so using “It’s just all made up and flagellant” as my new catch phrase.  In fact, you don’t know how close I am to replacing the blog motto with it.

Anyway, enjoy.  I hope this makes up for some of the gloom and doom.

16 Comments

Filed under General Idiocy