What happened to showing up, drinking, eating and throwing a football around?

Here’s a sign of the times:  Ole Miss allows portable generators into the Grove for the first time because overuse of extension cords presented a safety hazard.

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The Greatest Cryer of Our Era

I think you know where this is going:

“In 2009, the news media disparaged University of Florida quarterback Tim Tebow for crying on the sidelines after losing a big game, even labeling him Tim ‘Tearbow,’” said psychologist Y. Joel Wong, PhD, the study’s lead author. “However, the college football players in our study who believed … crying was appropriate had higher self-esteem. In contrast, players who believed … crying was inappropriate yet felt they would likely cry in [that] situation had lower self-esteem.”

And, no, that’s not a link to The Onion.  Sadly.

Thursday morning buffet

Because it’s dawning on us like it is on Brandon Boykin… the buffet is here for you.

• Since winning the ACC Championship a few years ago, it’s been all downhill for Wake Forest.
• The Mountain West may have as much riding on the Kickoff Classic as Boise State does.
• Blair Walsh gets a pass on preseason happy talk for telling the truth after the embarrassing loss to UCF.
• Gary Stokan makes the case for an SEC team giving up a home game against a cupcake to play in the Kickoff Classic.
• As far as I’m concerned, any proposal which adds more college football games is a proposal worth considering.
• Here’s more on Greg McGarity’s meeting with local law enforcement.
• Verne Lundquist talks about his love for Tim Tebow and the SEC.
• Watching Oregon State football can make computers smarter.  Or something like that.

College football stats? There’s an app for that.

If you’ve got an iPhone or iPad, you might want to check this out.  I downloaded it yesterday, which means I’ve just started fooling around with it, but it looks promising.  The database goes back to 2003 and it’s free, so it’s hard to complain too much.

Free shipping when you buy 2 or more…

The main thing that worries me about this product is the risk of someone overly inebriated tapping the wrong flask, so to speak.

Is that a flask in your pocket, or are you just thirsty to see me?

(h/t Losers with Socks)

You know it’s the offseason when…

This really is the quintessential slow-news-day-in-college-football story.

Obvious musical accompaniment from The Move:

Never had a chance.

Remember Georgia’s first blackout debacle – the 2008 ‘Bama game?  Most of us thought the rout in the first half occurred because Saban had his team well prepared and Richt’s team had its proverbial head somewhere else.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

It was the chips (h/t Team Speed Kills).  Not potato chips or poker chips, but “… tiny holographic patches worn on the skin at Chinese acupuncture points that, according to the company that supplied them to Etheridge, Sports With Alternatives To Steroids (S.W.A.T.S.), help the body maintain and replenish its energy supply.”

That may sound like bunk to you or me, but follow this.

… Both coaches were unsure of Ross and the technology. It took several months of texting before Ross would gain their trust. But it was an unexpected display on the college level that jolted S.W.A.T.S. into NFL locker rooms.

On September 27, 2008, No. 10 Alabama went on the road to take on No. 3 Georgia.

“Tonight Alabama is going to triple chip against Georgia and beat the ever living s— out of them,” Ross texted Lynn. “And the chips are going to be the reason why.”

A few months earlier, Ross says he passed along his chips to some University of Alabama student-athletes. One of those was star running back Glen Coffee, who says he did try them. According to Ross, some members of the Crimson Tide football team were wearing the chips the night they took on Georgia, which went into the season ranked No. 1. (Reached by phone, Alabama sports information director Jeff Purinton told ThePostGame.com, “Alabama has nothing to do with this guy.”)

By halftime, the Crimson Tide was rolling over Georgia, 31-0.

“Okay prophet,” Lynn texted back to Ross, “you have my attention.”

That’s what you have to love about America.  This, too.

… The University of Alabama sent a letter to Ross in 2009 ordering him to avoid contact with all of its student-athletes. So he decided to leave the college ranks and focus on the NFL.

Enter Christopher Key. He met Ross through the personal training business in Birmingham. Key has a degree in kinesiology and has owned gyms. Ross introduced him to the chips in 2008, but Key was skeptical. “I thought he was crazy like everyone else did,” Key says. But after researching and testing them, he got on board. Key, an Alabama grad, became the college arm of S.W.A.T.S. Key pitched the chips under a different name, “Mojo,” and says he tried to get his alma mater to consider officially using the chips as a team, but to no avail.

So Ross and Key decided to show Alabama the hard way that the technology worked by taking it to the Crimson Tide’s biggest rival.

Key says an Auburn booster introduced him to several team doctors. After hearing about the technology, they approved the use on several players, including Zac Etheridge. That was in July 2010 — and the players-only meeting soon followed. Many players began wearing the chips. Auburn kept winning.

Adventures in marketing

A Bavarian brewer promotes its no-alcohol beer as a sport drink for athletes.

A nerd’s-eye view of the BCS

Wired takes a look at the men behind the computers behind the BCS.  It’s not as state-of-the-art as you might think.

… For all the power wielded by BCS computers this time of the year, the machines themselves are hardly extraordinary. In fact, the rankings are processed by individually owned desktop PCs and laptops around the country.

Wes Colley runs his calculations in a database from his home in Alabama. Jeff Sagarin works from his home in southern Indiana, using Fortran, a once popular program used by old-school mathematicians.

Peter Wolfe compiles his rankings baked in C++. Anderson and Hester use a complex spreadsheet and an ordinary HP laptop in Southern California. “When we started, it took Excel half an hour to calculate the rankings,” Anderson says. “Now it takes a fraction of second.”

Of course, these guys think they’re doing the Lord’s work, but Anderson does make a valid point about the new system being somewhat more inclusive to mid-majors than what it replaced.

… Anderson agrees, pointing to the Air Force Academy’s 1971 Sugar Bowl–playing squad, the last team not from a large conference to play in a major bowl before the BCS. “There’s no question in my mind that computer rankings have opened doors for smaller teams,” he says, “Six small-market teams have been invited to BCS bowls in the last six years. It’s only a matter of time until one of these teams wins a championship.”

The weirdest thing in the article is Sagarin’s support for a playoff, not because he thinks it’s a superior way of determining the best team, but because he’s grown jaded.

Sagarin would love to see a playoff, if only for the novelty. “Championship formats are like ice cream,” he says. “I like all ice cream. In that sense, I wouldn’t mind sampling a 16-team playoff, even though I still really like the current flavor.”

It’s as good a reason as some I’ve seen.

Just what in the hell is frozen bergamot?

This just showed up in my e-mail box and I had to share:

WHAT: What smells would you associate with the Bulldogs?

At Saturday’s home game Nitto Tire will give away 28,000 car air fresheners with cologne fragrances custom-made by Masik Collegiate Fragrances to capture the spirit and the signature scent of the University of Georgia.  These 2010 Limited Edition Air Fresheners capture the Bulldog spirit by featuring red-inspired top notes of cool ozone, chilled apple and frozen bergamot. Clean mid-notes of pear skin, and lavandin blend with frosted nutmeg, white birch and blue cypress musk notes for an alluring impression.

This continues a regional, season-long campaign that includes custom-made air fresheners for six universities within the Southeastern Conference: Alabama, Auburn, Florida, Georgia, LSU and Tennessee, along with ACC Conference member Florida State.

For once, I have nothing to add.  Except I can’t believe this is the first time I’m hearing about this.  And I’m dying to know if there’s any corn dog musk in the LSU scent.