This is NOT a musical palate cleanser.

I’m pretty sure I don’t need to add any further commentary to a song penned by one Sonny Bama that has the lyric “Nick Saban and Jesus, yeah, that’s our guys.”

But don’t let me stop you.

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Thursday morning buffet

Simple.  Nourishing.

• Finally, a media headline about college footballers not making money that points the finger in the NFL’s direction.
• Over the past five years, Georgia has been one of the slower offenses in the game.  But things have been speeding up recently.
• More Willie Martinez love:  “No Georgia defensive player has gone before the third round since the Indianapolis selected cornerback Tim Jennings in 2006 in round two with the 62nd overall pick.”
• It’s nice that the Peach Bowl name will be making a reappearance, but the BCS commissioners’ fixation with naming is getting a little weird.
• Richt says J.J. Green will stay on offense.  One thing about Green that impressed me at G-Day was that he showed good hands snagging a high, hard pass.  If he can offer some blitz protection, he definitely looks like a contributor on passing downs.
• You know this is shit Nick Saban doesn’t have time for.
• Sounds like Bill Hancock’s gotten a little sensitive about the old order he’s been defending:  “There are two letters that are not associated with this name,” Hancock said.  Hey, nobody ever said being a flack was easy.
• NCAA ponders waiving the waiver process for 6-7 teams that want to go bowling.

PAWWWL, whut about the 8th amendment?

Harvey Updyke is made to pay for his crimes.

Harvey Updyke has pleaded guilty to poisoning Auburn’s famous Toomer’s Corner oak trees, reaching a deal with prosecution that will see him spend six months in jail and five years on supervised probation.

Updyke pleaded guilty to a charge of criminal damage of an agricultural facility, a Class-C felony in Alabama. In a statement announcing the plea deal, Lee County District Attorney Robbie Treese said, “We have a significant number of violent felonies awaiting trial in Lee County, and I could not in good conscience justify financing a three-week trial merely to arrive at no better a resolution.”

Updyke had previously pleaded not guilt by reason of mental disease or defect to charges of criminal mischief, desecration of a venerated object and unlawful damage to a crop facility charges. Other conditions of his plea deal include a 7 p.m. curfew, a ban from attending any collegiate sporting event, a ban from speaking to media, and a ban from setting foot on Auburn’s campus.  [Emphasis added.]

No Finebaum?  Forever?  Man, talk about your cruel and unusual punishment…

Tuesday morning buffet

Sidle on up and grab you a plate.

• DeLoss Dodds says Texas won’t schedule a game with Texas A&M because the Longhorns’ fans have hurt fee-fees.
• John Infante asks a good question about what the NCAA’s Board of Directors is up to with regard to suspending some of the new recruiting rules.
• T. Boone Pickens, whatta guy.
• I definitely don’t have a dog in this fight.
• John Helyar’s got a story that’s worth a read on the NFL’s relationship with Riddell and whether that might have played a part in undermining a company that produced a concussion-preventing helmet.
• Ole Miss getting a big head after a 7-6 season?  Oy.
• The Mountain West still ain’t happy with Mark Emmert.
• Cam Cameron on Zach Mettenberger:  film don’t lie.

Name that caption, low-hanging fruit edition

I’m sorry, but I would be seriously remiss in my duties as this blog’s proprietor if I didn’t share this special moment with you all.

Do your best (worst?) in the comments.

“Hello, this is Harvey Updyke. Can I speak with Mark Schlabach?”

I mean, damn, what do you do when you get a phone call like this?

… Just ask Harvey Updyke, the infamous Alabama fan who allegedly poisoned the beloved trees at Auburn’s Toomer’s Corner after the Tigers won the 2010 national title. He made an unsolicited telephone call to this humble correspondent from a psychiatric facility in Tuscaloosa, Ala., on Sunday night.

Updyke said he has been a patient at Taylor-Hardin Secure Medical Facility, where doctors are evaluating whether he’s fit to stand trial on criminal charges for poisoning the trees. He has pleaded not guilty by reason of mental disease or defect to charges that include criminal mischief and desecrating a venerable object. Updyke’s trial was supposed to start in October, but the case has been delayed indefinitely.

So for now, Updyke will worry about Alabama’s chances of winning it all again.

“I think Alabama can run it on Georgia,” Updyke said. “The key to that game is who doesn’t make mistakes, just like a lot of them. I feel confident that Alabama can run it on them.”

Updyke said he was able to watch the Crimson Tide rout Auburn 49-0 in Saturday’s Iron Bowl on TV from his hospital room.

“I thought it was great,” Updyke said. “I got to watch it. When I was in the Auburn jail, they wouldn’t let me watch [Alabama]. I missed the LSU game and the others.”

There’s not a chance he’ll miss Saturday’s game in Atlanta.

I hope somebody’s keeping a close eye on Russ’ Kibbles ‘n Bits.

I wonder if Schlabach told Updyke he’s picking Georgia to win.

It’s information overload, PAWWWWLLL.

If Danny Sheridan didn’t exist, surely ‘Bama fans would have to invent him.

Thursday morning buffet

No fireworks.  Just football.

• Honestly, I’m surprised Nick Saban has time for this shit.
• As Georgia Southern looks to move to D-1, it faces money concerns.
• Brady Hoke says coaches are talking about an early signing date for recruiting.
• Jeff Long on fans hoping that Arkansas might bring back Bobby Petrino:  “It amazes me that that’s still out there.”
• Can somebody explain to me why this was considered to be a good idea?
• The NCAA pulls a last-minute move to put Leonard Floyd’s admission to Georgia on hold.  Is there some reason that couldn’t have been researched months ago?
• Kevin Scarbinsky thinks the new playoff is going to make the regular season more attractive.
• Mark Bradley wants to know “why is it always Georgia?”.  Maybe it’s because you don’t pay attention to stuff like this, Mark.

One track mind

There is an old joke about Jewish folks of a certain generation and their ability to see the world solely through the single lens of “yes, but is it good for the Jews?”.  No matter how insignificant or how secular any matter might be, its sole justification to exist for those folks was a positive response to that question.

I mention that only because I think I’ve discovered a similar mindset in the world of college football.

Only in Alabama

This is awesome on so many levels.

Updyke jury exchange. DA asks woman if being wiccan could affect her judgment in case. "I do love trees, but I can definitely be impartial."—
John Zenor (@jzenor) June 20, 2012

How many Wiccans do you suppose live in the state of Alabama?  And of those, how many admit it in public?