OK, it’s confession time. I admit I have this thing about South Carolina message boards. It’s like a redneck tooling down I-85 passing a bad wreck on the side of the road: you know you shouldn’t slow down and look, but you can’t help doing it.
Needless to say, with the end of the Brian VanGorder era in Columbia, it’s been a fun week to spend slumming there. And while his sudden and unseemly departure has added another villain to a long list of folks that Gamecock fans will hold grudges against as long as there are keyboards and electricity in South Carolina, you’ll be relieved to know that by now, the typical ‘Cock poster has dismissed the episode as a minor bump in the road of Carolina’s inevitable march towards another preseason MNC. After all, Spurrier, being the certified genius that he is, has managed to replace BVG with an even more kickass defensive coordinator (albeit one he passed over in making the original hire).
But that’s not what’s inspired this post. And I do mean inspired.
You have to start with this thread on the South Carolina Rivals board. The initial post contains what purports to be a cut and paste job of a media report on the current state of Gamecock recruiting, entitled “Reality Check for Gamecock Fans RE: Recruiting Worries!!!”
Now, anytime I see “reality check” and “Gamecock fans” linked together in a post, I’m going to slow down and take a look, because there’s a high probability that I’m going to see something especially gruesome yet titillating. And it doesn’t disappoint – not when you get to the oxymoronic conclusion:
And that has to have all reason-based Gamecock football fans excited.
Reason-based Gamecock football fans. Not to be confused with carbon-based lifeforms, surely. We know there must be more than one of these specimens, at least, because the poster that starts the thread with this exhortation…
NOTE: this news service NAILS IT AGAIN!!!!…it is a crying shame not one major newspaper in this state has a single writer on staff with this much insight and knowledge, with the ability to articulate it like this…BRAVO!!!!
… gets two others to respond with virtual nods and yessirs. Eureka!
Yet I felt something was lacking. The article seems somewhat less than polished from an editing standpoint. Who or what is this “BlogSpot News Service” and what crack journalists comprise its staff?
Well, that’s the best part of this story. When I Googled “BlogSpot News Service Gamecock fans”, this is where I was led. Evidently, BSNS is the creation of a disgruntled Gamecock fan who perceives blatant media bias in the way his beloved football team is covered and started a blog to, as he puts it, “deviate from the current norm”.
I give it about a one percent chance that this is some of the best satire I’ve seen, and about 99 percent that it’s the old fashioned Gamecock cocktail (pour in equal parts sincerity, paranoia and delusion, shake thoroughly and serve, with a twist) served in a larger glass. Either way, it’s teh awesome.