In related news, Pete Carroll’s head exploded today…

I know there’s a better chance that a meteor will strike Sanford Stadium before the Tech game than that this scenario would play out, but this is crazy talk nonetheless:

Bowl Championship Series commissioners recently had to mediate a conflict in their own rule book that could affect USC’s bowl plans.

BCS rules stipulate that no more than two schools from one conference can receive BCS bowl bids, yet rules also state that conference champions must receive an automatic bid and that No. 1 and No. 2 in the BCS standings must meet in the title game.

There is a remote chance this year that Missouri could win the Big 12 title and two one-loss schools from the Big 12 South could end up No. 1 and No. 2 in the BCS standings.

So what gives?

“There would be three [Big 12] teams in that case,” BCS spokesman Bill Hancock confirmed Wednesday.

Three teams from one conference in the BCS?  My friends, that is seriously twisted and I suspect would do more to guarantee the creation of a college football playoff format than anything else could.  Think Auburn 2004 on steroids.

On the other hand, it would make for one helluva Holiday Bowl.

(h/t Fanblogs)

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Even more from the annals of how the mighty have fallen…

You knew Tennessee was having a bad season, but here’s some history to put into perspective exactly how craptastic Fulmer’s final campaign may yet turn out:

Ohio State, Michigan and Tennessee entered this season as the only FBS schools in the country that had never lost eight games in a season, according to Brett Edgerton of ESPN Research.

Well, you can already cross Michigan’s name off that list. The Wolverines have suffered through a 3-8 season with only Ohio State left to play this Saturday. They will not be going to a bowl game for the first time since 1974.

The Vols (3-7) could join the Wolverines in the dubious eight-loss club by losing Saturday at Vanderbilt or Nov. 29 against Kentucky at home. Only one other time in school history (John Majors’ first season in 1977) has Tennessee lost seven games in a season.

That’s got the potential to be monumentally wretched.

By the way, the never-lost-nine-games crowd is pretty exclusive, too.

Not counting schools that have lost games because of forfeits (Southern Miss) or just started playing major college football this decade (Troy), the only FBS schools that have never lost nine games on the field during a season are Michigan, Ohio State, Tennessee, Oklahoma, Arizona State, Georgia and Miami.

The book of losers

The Wiz of Odds leads us to this post which recaps one of the most elegant bits of smack I’ve had the pleasure of reading in a while.

The Wiz does a good job of setting the scene:

Baylor, the doormat of the Big 12 South since, well, the beginning of time, is clearly enjoying getting out of the cellar. The Bears’ 41-21 victory over Texas A&M last Saturday means in all likelihood that Baylor will nudge past the Aggies for fifth place in the six-team South when the regular season ends.

A Baylor fan, wasting no time in taking advantage of the bragging rights, ventured into an Aggie board and posted key tips from the book, “How to Handle Being The Worst Team in the Big XII South.”

Here’s a synopsis of  some of “the book” (the post was deleted, but never underestimate the staying power of a Google cache):

Chapter 1 – Bring up past records when discussing your program with friends. The best way to do this is to start from the present and go back through the past until you can find where you have more wins than “x” team. Inconsistencies in time frame does not matter – it can be 5 years for one team and 45 for another.

Chapter 3 – Find other parts of your athletic program that you can be proud of and meticulously learn and promote their accomplishments, no matter how embarrassing the sport. Baylor has done this recently with women’s basketball, tennis, and most notably, track and field (Olympic gold medalist anyone?). Rumor has it that your men’s club lacrosse team is pretty awesome. Just throwing that out there.

Chapter 5 – Find a couple of solid scapegoats and complain tirelessly about them. Your fan base has already advanced far in this area, with “Shermione” and “$Bill” taking the brunt of this effective relaxation technique.

Chapter 10 – Pick a team to hate and root for their failure. For Baylor fans, this has been you, and look how well it’s worked! It’s like The Secret – the power of positive thinking. It’s very refreshing to change the channel from a frustrating loss and watch your sworn enemy fail. You may have to really dig deep here – you want a team that is average to pretty bad. You losing and them winning is a double whammy, so don’t set your sites too high (UT/Tech). Arkansas is a good start, they’re down this year.

Chapter 11 (THIS IS A BIG ONE) – Focus on moral victories. This chapter has a lot of content, so really pay attention to it. Within the umbrella of the moral victories chapter you’ll find subsections such as: a) Don’t pin your hopes on winning the game, pin your hopes on covering the spread. The spread is key, and beating the spread will bring you years and years of joy. b) Get excited about first downs. These may be harder to come by than you think, so really cherish them. c) Find remote stats that can highlight your improvement. Really dig into improvement. This should be a buzzword to use in the coming years.

Chapter 12 – Talk about the other redeeming qualities of your school. This is tricky, because it’s actually really dorky to engage in academic smack talk, but, if done correctly, can deflect the focus of a conversation away from your school’s crappy football program and onto other areas where the playing field is more level. Now, I’m tailor making this to A&M a little here, but I would recommend you focus on your strong engineering and business school reputation, and don’t forget to bring up your various traditions! People never get tired of hearing about this.

Chapter 14** – Find another school to support on the side. This chapter is very controversial and was only added in later editions. I myself never went down this road, but several of my friends found a great deal of relaxation and comfort in finding a side school. While immediate family connections are the best (father graduated from Penn State or mom and dad met at Florida), it is also valid to dig deep into your family’s history to find that great aunt that went to Alabama or that second cousin who got a masters at USC. The further away the school, the better. Claim that you have been watching them for years, especially as a little kid growing up. This helps ward off eye rolls and front-runner accusations from your friends. **Note: though highly successful, this chapter can be very dangerous, and is probably the only method that will incur hatred from fellow alumni and students. Use Chapter 14 at your own risk. Advanced students only. I’d say you’ll be there en mass around 2013, although seeing how your fan base is bailing after 3 losing seasons out of the past 24, you may be there as early as 2010. Talk about advanced students!

Sounds like it would make the perfect thing for a Vandy fan to give a Tennessee fan.  Just in time for the holidays, too, when Vol folks would have plenty of time for reading.

Urban the Coach

You know, I’d really like to lay off the playoff talk, but teh stupid, it burns.

It’s the perfect storm – Urban Meyer responding to Barack Obama’s call for an eight team college football playoff:

… Said Meyer: “[Obama] needs to meet with [Florida athletic director] Jeremy Foley. I’m glad to see he’s interested. Any time a President-elect or people place the value on athletics like we all do, that’s good. That’s good for our country.”

How patriotic.  Makes you wonder how Meyer would feel if college football went to Washington and horse traded a playoff for an antitrust exemption so that it could rein in head coaching salaries.  Now there would be some change!

Don't worry - he's just about to point. (photo courtesy AP)

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UPDATE: And please don’t get me started with this self-serving clown.

Setting the bar

I know the economy sucks.  I know there has to be a lot of concern amongst the bowls about being able to draw a sufficient number of supporters to the games.  I know that Notre Dame draws.  I know.  I know.

But still…

Despite some struggles down the stretch, Notre Dame is still drawing interest from the Cotton, Gator and Sun bowls heading into its final two games.

“The great thing about the system the way it is now is you can really afford to wait until the whole season is over before making a decision,” Cotton Bowl president Rick Baker said.

The Irish (6-4) are 19 1/2-point favorites against Syracuse (2-8) on Saturday and will be heavy underdogs a week later against sixth-ranked USC (9-1). And although neither the Cotton Bowl nor the Gator Bowl has ever awarded a berth to a five-loss team, the presidents of both bowls said a loss to the Trojans wouldn’t necessarily eliminate the Irish from consideration. [Emphasis added.]

“I don’t think we necessarily look just at the records,” Baker said. “We’re going to look at the matchup and the history that we have with the programs that we’re considering. That’s not a policy that we don’t take a 7-5 team, that’s just the way that it’s happened.”

That’s “just the way that it’s happened”?  Bowl Dude, please.

While he’s at it, maybe he can pair the Irish with a 6-6 team so that they actually have a shot at winning.  There’s probably no policy against that either.

Easier said than done.

Bacarri Rambo is playing the part of Josh Nesbitt as the scout team prepares the defense for the Georgia Tech triple option.  He’s a natural for the role, as he spent four years in high school running the same kind of offense as Tech’s.  And he knows what the key to the game for the defense is:

The key to stopping an option offense such as Tech’s, he said, “is for everybody to do their assignments. Do what the coaches tell you, and you’ll stop it.”

Anybody listening?

Georgia-Georgia Tech 2002: “Obviously, I didn’t get these guys ready to play.”

And with that understatement of the day, the Chan Gailey era got off to a bang with this game.  It was the most lopsided result in the series, and the most points that Georgia Tech had ever allowed a Georgia team to score in a game.

I’ve seen Georgia-Georgia Tech games get out of hand, but I’d never seen a Yellow Jacket team quit before.  Until this one.

The onslaught began in the second quarter, as Georgia scored 24 unanswered points to lead 34-0 at the half.  To that point, Tech’s only brush at an offensive score came midway through the second quarter after a drive stalled and the Jackets attempted a 49 yard field goal.  Attempted being the operative word here, as Boss Bailey flicked aside Luke Manget’s kick.

Take that weak stuff somewhere else, Manget.

Tech didn’t get on the scoreboard until early in the fourth quarter, narrowing the gap to thirty seven.   The Dawgs answered that score two drives later to produce the final result.  All in all, it was a helluva job by Chan Gailey.  (You might wonder what was going through Michael Adams’ mind as he watched Dooley’s head coach choice rout the man who was Adams’ first pick.)

The box score in this case doesn’t lie. Everything you need to know about Georgia’s dominance that day is there:

Team Statistics	Georgia Tech	Georgia
First downs	12	24
Rushes-Yards	22 – 71	57 – 230
Passing yards	222	322
Sacked-Yards lost	2 – 20	3 – 18
Return yards	19	98
Passes	18 – 36 – 2	17 – 25 – 0
Punts-Average	6 – 37	3 – 37
Fumbles-Lost	6 – 3	0 – 0
Penalties-Yards	4 – 28	8 – 95
Time of Possession	23:06	36:54

Five hundred and fifty or so yards of offense and a +5 in turnover margin is a pretty good formula for a rout. And a rout it was.  Even Cory Phillips contributed, going 2 for 3 passing and leading the Dawgs to their final score of the game.

51-7 has become a metaphor.  That’s how glorious a day it was.

ESPN.com’s summary of the game, along with the play-by-play can be found here.  Mark Schlabach’s recap can be read here.