Why is it so readily assumed that you have to be a flaming asshole to win at Tennessee?
Filed under Don't Mess With Lane Kiffin
Ugh…please don’t say ‘flaming asshole’…we went to a chili cookoff last night.
Having a quarterback might help.
GWOL (Global War on Lane) status report 7 February 2009:
Lane and bodyguard Coach O emerge from underground bunker at zero dark thirty to survey damage in Green Zone in Knoxville from incoming rocket and mortars over past forty-eight hours.
Lane and Coach O reportedly disguised as Luke and Bo and motoring slowly around battlefield in a beat up ’71 Dodge Charger General Lee painted in a UT endzone checkerboard pattern.
Coach O jibbering some intel to Lane in Cajun. Lane couldn’t even understand Cajun while coaching with Coach O at SC. Lane notes to self to tell secretary enroll Coach O in an English as Second Language course at UT.
Coach O’s intel to Lane was that an enemy correspondent had accused him of being a flaming a-hole. Lane misunderstands the Cajun-speak and thinks that he is being compared to The Flaming Lips, a psychedelic alternative rock band. Lane thinks that’s cool.
Further intel reported was that after Lane thought he heard firecracker go off, he was being Valkeried. Ordered quick roundup of all short guys who look like Tom Cruise in Knoxville, incarcerates them inside Neyland and has strength and conditioning coach make the short guys run stadium steps.
Meanwhile, UT players reportedly becoming increasing concerned about their physical well-being because they (unlike Lane, yet) have combat experience of having had multiple cans of SEC whup ass opened up on them in the past and can now only expect an exponential increase in the number of cans this upcoming season. Rumors of fragging are believed to be unfounded; however, there are reports that if someone’s broken jaw is wired shut, that will buy them some temporary relief. Straws being drawn.
In related news, Al Davis makes massive (for Al, anyway) contribution of $99.00 to UT Athletic Association in honor of Lane for Lane making Al look sane for the first time since the 1950’s.
If you go around the message boards it’s pretty obvious that UT fans as a whole have felt inferior and impotent for awhile now. I’m really surprised how much so. That’s where this is coming from.
But in the end, all of this doesn’t amount to a hill of beans unless he wins in the fall.
Junior’s got more time than that. The Vol faithful will blame any shortcomings this season on Fulmer.
“I’m not happy with where we are,” Smart said, “I’m happy with where we’re headed.” — AJ-C, 6/2/19
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