Those Vol message boards are a fun read these days. When Tennessee fans aren’t convincing themselves that UT will have the #1 recruiting classes forevah or aren’t doing virtual chest bumps over Junior irritating every other fan base in the conference (because they’re all afeared of a guy with a lifetime 5-15 record as a head coach), they’re busy dumping on the coach that ran the program before this year.
That Phil Fulmer fellow. You know, the one that actually accomplished something at UT. You’d hardly know that these days, though. His offense sucked. His defense sucked. Recruiting sucked. Strength and conditioning? You guessed it – that sucked, too.
But now they’re digging deeper and deeper, delving further into the mystery of Phil Fulmer, lousy coach and lousy human being. And what is the latest revelation? He’s a crappy tipper.
Phillip Fulmer (Head Football Coach, Univ. of TN):
I waited tables at a restaurant on “The Strip”. Party central if you’re a UT student. Phil came in with his wife and three kids one night and I was afforded the luxury of putting up with them. Phil is an ass, his wife is a BITCH and his kids reflect precisely the sort of people their parents are. Kids ate free at that restaurant back then so the total bill for the table (a five top) was $18.52 (this has been a few years). I received a whopping $1.50 for the tip, after kissing his ass, and hers and putting up with the brats. Y’know, Phil, you’re a Head Coach for a nationally recognized football program. Your salary is published in the damn paper (working for a state institution makes your salary public domain). It’s bad enough you’re an idiot, and your wife is a bitch and your kids are a pain in the ass…I guess coughing up a decent tip is just too much for you. Asshole.<!–
—Edward W., Knoxville, TN
This turns up in a message board thread that generated 27 responses. Get a life, people. Seriously.
At least according to Mr. W, Peyton turned out to be a saint in some greasy diner. God knows what these people would have done if he’d turned out to be a mediocre tipper.