Kiffin watch: fill ‘er up and check under the hood, loser.

Chris Low presents the quote of the year from Junior (h/t Bernie’s Dawg Blog):

According to Jeffrey and Wilson, Kiffin told Jeffrey that if he chose the Gamecocks, he would end up pumping gas for the rest of his life like all the other players from that state who had gone to South Carolina.

And with that, the Laner has crossed into legendary status.  “Pumping gas” is the new official metaphor at GTP.  I am in awe.

Hey, can a school sue for slander?  What if truth is a defense here?

I can’t resist typing this:  SEC Media Days are going to be a gas, gas, gas.

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UPDATE: Kiffin denies he said anything like this, which will no doubt come as a shock to the numerous Vol fans who’ve been defending the comment.

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Buyer’s remorse?

Just for kicks, go back and read this post at The Red Solo Cup in the wake of Jamar Hornsby’s commitment to Ole Miss.  Don’t miss the comments from the Rebel fans, either.

Then, read what Chris Low posted about what Hornsby is accused of having done on March 1 (it took a little while for news of the arrest to get out, didn’t it?).

… According to the arrest report, the complaint filed said Hornsby used brass knuckles while hitting another guy repeatedly in the head area, causing a fractured nose, busted lips, swollen jaw and other cuts.

The altercation started after Hornsby was involved in a minor traffic accident with another car in a drive-thru at McDonald’s around 2:15 that morning, according to police.

Now, read the latest at The Red Solo Cup.  It’s not as dumb as the idea of bringing brass knuckles to a Mickey D’s in Starkville, Mississippi at two in the morning, but it’s got its moments.

… I wanted to give the guy a chance. After hearing all about the Florida credit card scandal and his subsequent dismissal from the Gator squad, I thought that perhaps Hornsby was just a stupid kid who got caught in a bad situation. No, I didn’t think him to be malicious or an overt troublemaker, just careless and lacking of foresight.

He used a credit card that wasn’t his (skip the fact that it belonged to a dead girl for a sec) to rack up some $3000 worth of charges.  Repeatedly.  Or maybe he was driving a fleet of semis that all needed gas at the same time.  You pick which.  How “careless” does that sound to the impartial observer?  Answer:  not very.

There’s also the suggestion made that if Hornsby had beaten the crap out of some poor soul in a metropolis other than Starkville, things would have gone much better for him.  Because we all know that the cops there lie in wait for Ole Miss football players who come rolling into town for a double cheeseburger at 2 AM.  Elsewhere, nobody would have given the brass knuckles a second thought.

Despite that, one conclusion to be taken from the brouhaha is that “State fans are just as obsessed with Ole Miss as ever.” In other words, nothing to see here, move on, folks.  Too bad that approach didn’t work with the Starkville Police Department.

I can’t wait to see the response if the charges wind up getting pled down to a misdemeanor, Hornsby appears contrite and the Nuttster leaves him on the team while promising that the kid will be subject to some unspecified “team discipline”.  That probably depends on whether he’s good enough to start.

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UPDATE: Doc Saturday has a good point (along with commenter Left to Right) that I neglected.  Hornsby is currently on probation.  If he doesn’t get these charges dropped, his enrollment at Ole Miss will be the least of his concerns.

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UPDATE #2: According to this AP story, the mere possession of brass knuckles is against the law.

It’s a Kiffin watch two-fer!

The AP ran another “Lane Kiffin – Crazy as a Fox!” story this weekend.  The interesting part of this one is watching Johnny Majors triangulate.   Majors will go to his grave hating Fulmer for what he perceived as a Greek-tragedy style back stabbing, so in his mind, any coach succeeding the deposed donut eater is a cause for celebration, but you get the feeling that Major’s giddiness is a little restrained by Junior’s antics to date.

Thus, we get a quote like this that is memorable simply for its hedging.

“I respect anybody who says what they believe as long as they back it up with what they say they’re going to do,” Majors said.

Way to cover all the bases there, coach.

Meanwhile, Monte’s waxing all nostalgic about the days when his charges approached football like a job, instead of being student athletes who actually have to take a stab now and then at, you know, being students.   Curse your stupid rules, NCAA!

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UPDATE: That whole “recruits are talking about us” thing Junior pushes may not be as swell as he thinks, judging from this post of Michael Carvell’s where he gets some follow up observations from Brian Volger, who attended the notorious shirt-ripping hooha.  Check out this quote from Volger:

“However, some of the other prospects and recruiting hosts brought it up,” Volger said. “They just couldn’t believe that happened, with coaches ripping off their shirts. They were all making fun of it, laughing.”

Is it supposed to be a good thing when seventeen-year olds are making fun of their elders like that?  And while this line – “It was both fun and an awkward experience.” – was about Junior Day, it seems to capture the essence of the whole UT program right now.  What the Laner has to worry about is if they’re still saying the same thing in a couple of years.

Monday morning buffet

A few reheated items to get your week started –

• Another the-NFL-doesn’t-like-what-the-spread-offense-does-to-draft-preparation story, with a wrinkle:  hey, at least they’re seeing defensive backs with experience against the pass now!
• asshole.com. Seriously, a FireCoachMeyer.com website?
• I bet that new South Carolina QB coach G. A. Mangus is the first person in a long time who thinks that working with Stephen Garcia is “neat”.
• This story doesn’t surprise me in the least.  At least Hornsby’s victimizing the living now.  And that the program “plans on honoring the scholarship” ought to give you some idea of how thin the Ole Miss secondary is these days.
• I’m not sure how big a deal the Alabama textbook scandal is at this point in time, but one thing I’m pretty sure about is that stonewalling generally causes more problems than the original matter did.
• This is what Phil Fulmer does when he’s got time on his hands.
• Lavell Edwards is one of the most influential offensive minds in football history.  Trojan Football Analysis has posted a speech he gave on the development of the BYU passing game that’s full of concepts used today throughout all levels of the game.  A very interesting read if you’re into that kind of stuff…