at the SEC Spring Meetings.
Take the Nuttster, for example.
Ole Miss’ Houston Nutt joked that he was going to get to the meeting room early “to get a good seat.”
Or Bobby Petrino. (Bobby Petrino has a sense of humor? Who knew?)
“I’ve laughed about it, it has put a smile on my face,” said Petrino, who was on the staff with Kiffin with the Jacksonville Jaguars in the NFL. “Maybe if we want to quit talking about it, those guys (Meyer and Kiffin) can go jump in that Ultimate Fighting ring. That would sell some tickets.”
On the other hand, this sounds kinda awkward.
… As the coaches were filtering out of their meeting room and waiting for an elevator, a reporter informed Spurrier that Kiffin, albeit jokingly, had said earlier in the day that he never got an apology from Spurrier about questioning whether Kiffin had taken the recruiting test.
Spurrier sighed, slumped his shoulders and then wheeled around toward Kiffin, who was standing about five feet away waiting on the same elevator.
“I didn’t accuse you of cheating,” said an animated Spurrier, motioning toward Kiffin, who stood there with his face reddening by the second.
“What I said was, ‘Was it permissible to call recruits before you were announced head coach and had taken the (recruiting) test?’ Now, you took the test online, and I didn’t even know you could do that. I thought you had to take the test on campus … and then start calling (recruits).”
Yeah, that meeting today with Slive and the coaches ought to be a real hoot. I bet Junior sits in the back of the room.
Get The Picture 
“Maybe if we want to quit talking about it, those guys (Meyer and Kiffin) can go jump in that Ultimate Fighting ring. That would sell some tickets.”
I dislike both of these guys intensely, but in that fight, Kiffin would go down faster than Kimbo Slice.
Of course, it would all be part of the plan to return Tennessee to the national spotlight.
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Even better, put Shelly and Layla in a room with the last bottle of peroxide on Earth and see who makes it out alive….
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#1 tri guy
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Global War on Lane (GWOL) Crisis of Day (COD) Piece –
Zero dark thirty, men’s room stall in Sandestin Hilton Lounge, Panhandle, Florida. 27 May 2009.
Lane hasn’t been able to sleep. What with all the excitement, he’s like a kid at Christmas.
Last night at the mandatory Happy Hour, Slive cornered him, sat Lane’s ass down and gave him a heads up on what the Plan of the Day (POD) will be when Slive lectures The SEC Head Coaches.
The draft agenda Slive wrote on the back of several Hilton drink napkins has Slive calling the meeting order and making Lane take muster just so Lane and his enemy head coaches could eyeball each other. Slive thinks that will take some of the edge off after Spurrier’s elevator skirmish with Lane yesterday.
Nutt will be seated at the head of the table giving that goofy grin of his to relax or perplex those enemy coaches who are wound up tight like Little Nickie and Urbanator. Richt will give the blessing asking for a good injury-free meeting of The SEC Head Coaches. Petrino will give the Pledge of Allegiance to SEC TV Contracts and then the meeting will kick off.
Last night in the lounge, Slive was getting all excited and stuff almost spilling his neat double Cutty Sark with a splash of Red Bull. Lane was going easy drinking only a Shirley Temple, shaken not stirred, because someone, he can’t remember who, told Lane that he didn’t need anymore headaches.
From what Lane could remember the bullet points Slive told Lane about were the mixed martial arts get a front row seat i stole your recruit i accused you of cheating i refuse to apologize i passed the recruiting test but the old guy didn’t even know you could take it online like a reckless driving course stay out of Pahokee go into Memphis i stole your best recruiters or if i didn’t i tried no you didn’t stay out of Memphis go into Pahokee take your shirt off i still refuse to apologize keep your shirt on i didn’t do anything to apologize for fire your twitter guy fire your secretary Jerry Springer Show without the hot young buxom bleach blond trailer trash chicks with tatts and tongue piercings but instead with the Multi-Millionaire stray cat crew cast of The Head Coaches of the SEC.
Slive told Lane that he will lecture them and that includes Lane about diplomacy, tact and not doing anything stupid that would give the TV networks an excuse to terminate The SEC TV Contracts with or without cause. If that happened, they’d all have to work for a living again. Slive told Lane that a multiple choice test will be passed out after the lecture so Slive can tell who and who has not been paying attention.
Lane can’t figure out why Slive is giving him this pre-meeting info. After all, Lane who has been reamed out by some of the best around remembers his bootcamp days in the never-ending daily Department of Fatherland Security meetings in the bunker and the waterboarding PT on the practice field inside the Green Zone, Knoxville. There’s no gunny around tougher than Monte.
Lane washs hand with sanitizer, splashes water on face and run his fingers through his head of hair, puts a dab of Old Spice behind each ear, puts in his TO-like diamond studded ear rings, puts on his Samoan necklace that spelled out in diamonds says, “I’m With Her, What You Got?”, busts opens the men’s room by the Sandestin Hilton Lounge, with his shirt with cufflinks, already inserted, wrapped around his waist, puts his hat on backwards, yelling, “Bring It On A-holes!”
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Dear Sweet Baby Jesus,
Please let Spurrier throw a visor at Kiffin this week. Then, all would be right with the world.
Love, RedCrake
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