Lord, why hast thou forsaken us?

Looking at this week’s broadcast schedule, I can’t help but wonder how the Dawgnation has sinned in the eyes of the WWL.

Kansas State @ Nebraska (ESPN, 7:45pm)- Brad Nessler, Todd Blackledge, Erin Andrews
Kentucky @ Georgia (ESPN2, 7:45pm)- Mark Jones, Bob Davie
Kansas @ Texas (ABC, 8pm)- Ron Franklin, Ed Cunningham

6-5 Kansas State’s coming off of a 38-12 loss to Missouri.  And when’s the last time Kansas won a freaking game? As Mark Jones himself once said in a different context, that ain’t right.

26 Comments

Filed under ESPN Is The Devil

26 responses to “Lord, why hast thou forsaken us?

  1. dean

    So much for DVR-ing the game. Listening to those two will is about the same as one year of heavy drug use in terms of brain cell damage.

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  2. NebraskaDawg

    Watch the game on mute.

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    • Joe B.

      I really did do that on Saturday. I realize that the narrative of the game was supposed to be about ‘the rivalry,’ but it was absurd that they went to that between every play.

      I did mute the game in the 2nd quarter. Not to listen to the radio guys, but for pure silence. It was great.

      My biggest gripe is not just how terrible Davie is, but the fact that they showed no instant replays. There were a lot of great plays in the game, and I only got to see them once.

      I wonder if those two simply stayed in Athens this week? Probably just part of the economy. Cheaper for them to stay in an Athens hotel than make 4 plane flights.

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      • NCT

        Yeah, about overplaying the rivalry — when they talked about how similar the schools and towns were, I threw up a little in my mouth. Yeah, I reckon Auburn’s becoming a nice little college town: it looks a little like Athens did 60 years ago.

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      • Another narrative was about Athens itself which was a nice idea. Of course, it was delivered by Tweedledum and Tweedledummer and not very well researched, so it ended up being downtown shots of bums with guitars and d-bags with backwards ballcaps playing crappy Allman Brothers covers. Still, the WWL’s tiny black heart was in the right place.

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  3. Scorpio Jones, III

    No, Scott Howard ain’t Munson, but he and Zeier at least pronounce the players names right.

    Thank God for FM radio and the mute button.

    It is truly astonishing how bad most of the TV announcers have become….who hires these people?

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  4. Brandon

    The WWL has always hated us.

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  5. Section Z alum

    i think i’ll have the audio from the 97 uga/uk game on during the game. old munson is better than the uber-wankery of bob davie. ack.

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  6. Pumpdawg

    The radio is always a few seconds ahead or behind the play,so what I do is watch the game with friends who like to talk to the tv and tell those guys what knuckleheads they are.It’s very entertaining.

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    • Macallanlover

      I haven’t bought one yet, but have heard there is a device which delays the sound on the radio to sync with the TV broadcast. My radio play-by-play is about 2-3 seconds ahead so I assume you just adjust it until it “lines up”. Best Buy or Radio Shack might have them. Someone here may have better info since I have no first hand experience with this product.

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  7. Bob Davie

    Senator bluTAWWWSKY, why do ya have a problem with Bob DAAAAAAAAvie calling the footBAWWWWWWWWL game?

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  8. Bulldog Bry

    Maybe we’ll get more of that edge-of-your-seat commentary on coaches salaries. My sphincter tingles with anticipation.

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  9. texan_dawg

    Davie? Again? F**K!

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  10. Russ

    I’d almost (almost) prefer Pam Ward over these two. They really are the worst I’ve heard. And I agree about the lack of replays. Do they just figure everyone does their own replays now?

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  11. hodgie

    Russ,let’s not go too far.

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  12. Dan A.

    I’d take Lou Holtz and a banana over Jones and Davie.

    Glad I’ll be at the game and not trying to follow it on TV.

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  13. Dog in Fla

    We’re being punished by the color commentary of Bob Davie (Mr. Blondebastic) for a second straight week? At least we know what to expect…

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  14. Dawg N Suds

    You play for a championship, even if it is the Big XII North, you get the “A” team.

    You wrap up your championship, and stay in the hunt for the BCS, you get the “B” team.

    You play for pride, you get Jones and Davie.

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  15. Dog in Fla

    Yeah, Russ, Hodgie’s right. Pam almost always wins the Pammie Award from Awful Announcing
    but may not this year because of the Peabody worthy work of Top Gun Bob Davies and his Wingman Mark Jones for their even more stellar than usual performances in the Ox Bow ‘Ass-Whuppin’ Incident in Boise State v. Oregon, establishing a standard that most observers say has not been yet surpassed by any other to the candidates for Awful Announcing some of whose brilliant remarks follow from weekly Pammie nominees from Awful Announcing in no chronological order whatsoever just like the words that come out of their mouths…

    http://nationalsportsreview.com/sports/us/d-wil/2009/09/04/boise-state-oregon-what-really-happened-between-legarrette-blount-and-byron-hout-and-afterward-espn-orders-removal-of-video/

    “As long as it’s Florida/Alabama and Texas, it’ll be a non-controversial BCS championship.”- Bob Davie

    “Hung over from the vapors of success.”- Mark Jones

    “They were up 28-3 last week, but that was a little deceiving because they got up so fast” – Bob Davie

    “Where’s the pips? They look like Gladys Knight on the sideline.”- Mark Jones

    “That must be jelly, because jam doesn’t shake that way.”- Mark Jones
    “Oh boy, he pulled out the jelly jam reference.”- Bob Davie

    “For the first time in his career at Georgia, Tebow did not speak to the media after the game.”- Verne Lundquist

    “A loss of five…..no a gain of five.”- Terry Gannon

    “The guy who makes the tackle there, that’s the running back’s defender.” – Craig James

    “When I was young, my grandmother made me a Mr. Peanut costume.” – Mike Patrick

    “They say we should talk more like a Mime.”- Terry Gannon

    “Eight’s not half of 29. It’s half of 16, which is half of 29.” – Craig James

    “Wait a minute. I flunked art but I didn’t flunk vision”- Matt Millen while trying to use the telestrator

    _________________________________

    “And Nick Ford with the 24 year old, 24 YARD field goal.”- Pam Ward

    “Anthony Dixon is 6-1, 235, and he’s been in the rodeo before.”- Dave Neal (via Joe)

    “Pushed out of bounds by Mouton….touchdown Indiana.”- Pam Ward (via Joe)

    “Another guy who’s a converted wide receiver, now playing in the backfield. Defensive backfield.”- Pam Ward

    “Both of these teams are undefeated for a reason: Resiliency.”- Dave Lapham (via 49er16)

    “He looks like a water bug. Just scootin’ out there.”- Ray Bentley

    “Naaman Roosevelt is hit by a host of cherry-shirted Temple defenders.”- Michael Reghi (via Joe)

    “Dawes was the outside guy, worked inside, then did a little whip route, where you move inside then *whip it back out*” – Ray Bentley (via Brian)

    Steve Martin: “What’s the difference between engagement and shading?”
    Doc Walker: “Well, engagement is engagement, y’know… and shadin’ is shadin’…”
    (via Tully)

    “You throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, like in that rap song.”- Chris Spielman (via Evan)

    “You practice with wet balls all the time.”- Ed Cunningham

    “Trying to tackle Tebow is like trying to tackle a moving refrigerator. And the refrigerator is winning.” – Mark Jones

    “Tebow stopped on a dime and didn’t leave any change for the Wildcats.” – Mark Jones

    “Right now, we’re in horse country, and they are riding Tim Tebow like Secretariat. Or Seabiscuit. They’re all winners.” – Mark Jones

    Brent Musberger: “Did you have some of that Peachy Paterno ice cream?”
    Kirk Herbstreit: “Yeah, I had to stumble over there. What about you?”
    Brent Musberger: “No, I was reaching for a Peachy Sam Adams.”

    “You’re watching Sunday Night Football on ABC.” – Brent Musburger

    “He reached in between Small’s legs and grabbed the loose ball.” – Ed Cunningham

    “Welcome back to Fayetteville.”- Verne Lundquist multiple times, when the game was in Tuscaloosa

    Your Week Three Pammy Winners And New Standings
    Friday, September 25, 2009

    Your Week Three Pammy Nominees

    10. “Javid Breast.”- Chris Spielman

    9. “Did you know that it’s “National Talk Like A Pirate….Day”….today?”- Brent Musburger

    8. “He’s got great eye vision.”- Gary Danielson

    7. “He’s got an eye patch, I’m sorry, an ice pack, over his forehead.” – Erin Andrews

    6. “He hurt his ankle in the first week of the game.”- Pam Ward

    5. “The hand signals allow him to call more things, they’re like sign language.” – Bob Griese

    4. “I was impressed by his thickness.” – Chris Speilman

    3. “I gotta think that the USC Trojans are going to eat that one out.”- Ray Bentley

    2. “So it’ll be 1st and ten at the 52 yard line…”- Todd Harris

    1. “A bing, a bang, and a bong.”- Gary Danielson
    “Sounds like a late night college experience”- Verne Lundquist
    __________________________________

    “Todd Marijuanavich…er…Marivich.”- Chris Fowler

    “Georgia will kill South Carolina, by a Field Goal.”- Lee Corso

    “Drops it right over the pocket. If you had a pencil in your pocket, he puts it right in the pocket.”- Doc Walker

    “They love their classic rock in the Midwest.”- Joel Myers (via 49er16)

    “I noticed you moved closer to me.” – Dave Pasch
    “Yeah I moved closer to you. I’m fired up!” – Bob Griese
    (via JFein)

    “He gotta get his hands on that thing. He tried to catch it with his hands……with his pinkies together.” – Ray Bentley (via JFein)

    “You see the hole. You gotta get your rear end up in that hole.”- Chris Spielman

    “Balls are flying all over the place.”- Dave Neal (via Joe)

    “Clark took it right in the moustache.” – Rece Davis (via SS)

    “Special word: elusivity.” – Pam Ward
    “Is that a word” – Ray Bentley
    “It is now.” – Pam Ward
    (via JFein)

    “I need hair to gel.”- Joel Myers (via 49er16)

    “I gotta think that the USC Trojans are going to eat that one out.”- Ray Bentley (via Bazooka)

    “We’ve seen every part of the Dan LeFevour package.” – Todd McShay (via JFein)

    “You can go up in there with it two or three times, then you gotta pull it out.” – Sonny Randle (via Bazooka)

    “I don’t know what I don’t know.”- Bob Griese

    “If you’re long, your never wrong, Bob.”- Chris Spielman (TWO WEEKS IN A ROW!)

    “Whatever the hell you call it…it’s going to drive an offensive coordinator nuts.” – Bob Griese on the Illegal Formation terminology used on penalties

    “He used his body, his rear end, his friend.” – Chris Spielman

    “Al Toon, who had his football career cut short because of multiple concussions, hopes his son follows in his footsteps.”- Dave Pasch

    “You’ve got to get your eyes around and see what’s coming in your face.” – Todd Blackledge

    “Maybe you and I should be calling this game.”- Matt Millen

    “I like smart quarterbacks. Especially smart quarterbacks with some athletic skills to go with it.” – Mike Patrick

    10. “The tight end gets used around here (Florida State) about as much as the guy selling snocones at the North Pole.”- Brad Nessler

    9. “When you see a hatless official showing us their beautiful foreheads, they are telling us that a player stepped out of bounds”- Petros Papadakis

    8. “The Tigers, like George and Weezy and Jefferson, moving on up!”- Mark Jones

    7. “Jake Locker is part of Davie Jones Locker. thats a once in a lifetime play on words, folks.” – Mark Jones

    6. “Can blueturf cause insomnia, because Oregon is sure sleepwalking.” – Bob Davie

    5. “If you’re long, your never wrong.”- Chris Spielman

    4. “I love seeing receivers using their hands to make the catch.”- Kirk Herbstreit

    3. “Everything they’ve done defensively (Penn State) can be attributed to their defense.”- Matt Devlin

    2. “On a little jailbait….jailbreak screen.”- Rod Gilmore

    1. “I want a stallion package”- Pam Ward

    _________________

    “I’ll work towards the respect of you two as we go……on Respect Weekend.”- Sean McDonough

    “On their front four they have 1 senior, 3 sophmores and two freshman.”- Lou Holtz

    “Hitting the ground is a hit in my book.”- Ray Bentley (via Interplace)

    “Those guys are ankle bitters, like gnats. Like nasty gnats.”- Chris Spielman (via 49er16)

    “If your long, your never wrong.”- Chris Spielman (via 49er16)

    “I want a stallion package”- Pam Ward (via Moiso)

    “How much do they charge for those t-shirts, 60, 70 bucks?” – Dave Pasch on shirts at OSU with Chris Spielman on them.
    “I’m not a male model.” – Chris Spielman
    (via JFein)

    “Everything they’ve done defensively (Penn State) can be attributed to their defense.”- Matt Devlin (via JP)

    “Ellestad booms it…..well short.” – Pam Ward (via JFein)

    “Others will see Western Michigan OR Michigan.” – Wendy Nix (via SS Reporters)

    “When you see a hatless official showing us their beautiful foreheads, they are telling us that a player stepped out of bounds”- Petros Papadakis (via BSPN)

    “I love seeing receivers using their hands to make the catch.”- Kirk Herbstreit (via 49er16)

    “I’m Mark Jones along with Bob Davie. I’m in the booth.” – Mark Jones (via JFein)

    “Wang blew him out of there.” – Brent Musburger (via JFein)

    “Jake Locker is part of Davie Jones Locker. thats a once in a lifetime play on words,folks.” – Mark Jones

    “Can blueturf cause insomnia, because Oregon is sure sleepwalking.” – Bob Davie

    “The tight end gets used around here (Florida State) about as much as the guy selling snocones at the North Pole.”- Brad Nessler

    1. “”Where’s Juan Pablo Montoya? Perhaps he’s out having a taco”- Bob Griese

    2. “Ron Guenther the Illinois A.D. said Ron Turner will be the head coach next year”- Pam Ward
    “U mean Ron Zook”- Ray Bentley
    “Oh yea, Ron Zook, Ron Turner is the other Ron”- Pam Ward

    3. “Randy Edsall going for it on third-and-3.”- Clay Matvick

    4. “That is a phone booth fight. What would you do in a phone booth fight.”- Chris Spielman
    “I would knee cap you.”- Dave Pasch

    5. “Arkansas shot their wad last week.”- Lee Corso

    6. “Well, I can tell you that the headsets aren’t working but the PA system is! I can’t stand listening to this song anymore!”- Old Man Verne

    7. “Did somebody break a mirror or eat a rabbit’s foot?”- Ray Bentley on Illinois bad luck

    8. “Hard to believe this game started out 0-0.”- Dave Lamont

    9. “The bulldogs with the first points on the board. Tim Tebow looking to change that.”- Verne Lundquist

    10. “Jarvis Giles didn’t play last week because he didn’t pass no classes.”- Eric Collins

    11. “You gotta get that one out there hard and fast and firm, or not get it off at all.” – Craig James

    Like

  16. Hale and R&B reporting that UGA VII is dead! WTF?

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    • DawgBiscuit

      He had a heart attack when told that Davie and Jones will be calling our game again this weekend.

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      • DawgBiscuit

        After rereading that, I preemptively apologize if anyone finds it in bad taste, because it most certainly was not intended as such. I don’t mean any disrespect to our beloved mascot. RIP Uga VII.

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        • Macallanlover

          Don’t worry, most folks probably turned back at the 8 mile marker of Dog in Florida’s epistle (which was funny BTW).

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          • Dog in Fla

            Thanks, Mac. Sorry about that. I got stuck on cut and paste and shot right past the 8 mile marker but then i thought, Heck, thought nothing else was going on.

            Had i known the Dawg died, i wouldn’t have done that.

            But who can’t like DawgBiscuit’s (who shall be forever more known to me to the CSI guy of GTP) 7:10 p.m. post, above, as to the likely cause of cardiac arrest.

            And to soapbox it, all those who don’t know that English Bulldogs are having the life bred out of them by breeders, raise your hand. Anyone? Anyone?

            With all due respect to, and no animosity toward, the Seilers and anyone else who owns and/or breeds English Bulldogs, which don’t get me wrong i still love, to me the way those dogs have been bred over the generations puts the good health of the dog and longevity of life of the dog at the very bottom of the trait list.

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            • Macallanlover

              Yes, the breed is certainly problematic but this particular dog appeared unhealthy from the start. I know they have a selection process with multiple candidates, just surprised this dog was deemed the best unless the health problems coincided with the very beginning. Whatever the reason, we need some energy to meet the challenges we face in this conference!

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