Did you hear the one about the Vanderbilt offense?

Vanderbilt’s Black & Gold scrimmage sounds like something straight out of a bad ethnic joke I was told years ago.

I’m not sure exactly how long Bobby Johnson planned to extend the Black & Gold scrimmage on Saturday, but when Vanderbilt’s offense touched down in the end zone, he blew his whistle.

Problem is, it took roughly an hour and a half of scrimmaging before the Commodores offense finally crossed the goal line.

“We’ve got to do better on offense,” quarterback Larry Smith said. “We’ve got to keep up our end of the bargain.”

Even with the ball placed on the 20, the offense failed to score a touchdown on four straight series. There was just one first down during that sequence.

This from a team that averaged less than nine points per game in SEC play last year.  Not good.

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Now is the Urnge winter of our discontent.

So this is what it’s come down to for Tennessee fans these days.  Oy, gevalt.

Seth Davis should read this.

An Iowa sportswriter gets it.

… I’m not going to encourage Iowa fans to produced the same kind of crowd this Saturday for the Hawkeyes’ final spring practice because the less traffic, the better. Especially when traffic control probably isn’t in game-day form.

But if you don’t have 30,000 people, don’t brag about yourselves as great fans. You don’t want these Southerners to laugh at you.

Power to the people

Well, this is one way to get a college football playoff.

Fun with Urban

You know we’re living in the golden age of media coverage of the Florida program when even a guy like the Miami Herald’s Joseph Goodman (who, if you’ll recall, took the Corch’s side in the “real quarterback” fracas) writes something like this:

Meyer met with reporters for about nine minutes on Saturday. He spoke with the press for about 20 minutes the entire spring. Covering Florida is a challenge these days. You’ve got choose your words carefully. You never know if that last interview is going to be the last time you get a chance to ask Meyer a question…

And even when you do, Meyer makes sure you get the message.

QUESTION 2: And, what are some of the ways you’ve learned to manage stress here in the last few months?

MEYER: “Manage stress?”

REPLY: Yes.

MEYER: “By cutting back on media. [LAUGHTER]

Haw, haw, what a card!  And I thought he was gonna say something about threatening to whup somebody’s ass there.  Maybe he really is starting to relax.

Of course, it could be worse for those guys.  At Tennessee, they’re starting to charge the media if they want to attend scrimmage.

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UPDATE: Maybe the man is suffering from Post-GPOOE™ Depression.

“I don’t want to say I’m over it, ’cause I’ll never get over it,” Meyer said after the annual Orange and Blue spring game. “But to not have Tim in there, I’m kind of used to it now. Not saying I like it, but I’m used to it.”

Pardon me for saying so, but that sounds like dialogue from a bad episode of Law and Order SVU.  Just a tad creepy there, Corch…