Today’s extended metaphor: In sickness and in health

Here’s one of the weirder analogies you’ll hear from the recruiting trail:

Safety Pat Martin from J.L. Mann High School in Greenville, S.C., took a visit to Tennessee last weekend. He left Knoxville favoring the Vols. In fact, he fell in love so much with UT that he “married” the Vols.

“I see it as this: Tennessee is my wife, the other schools are my girlfriends,” Martin told “It’s going to take a lot to get me to divorce my wife. I’ll be back to Tennessee twice in July, once early and later in the month.”

Dude, just beware.  Those long-distance romances can put a strain on any relationship.

And it’s not like your wife hasn’t done her share of flirting before.

So Tennessee has had its midlife crisis. It purchased that sports car, dyed its hair, lusted after the young blond. It was fun while it lasted, I suppose. Now Tennessee has to pick up the pieces: reconnect with an old friend — put Phil Fulmer’s name up somewhere, anywhere — clean last season from the memory banks and move forward with a new flame, this one more willing to connect for the long-term than last year’s flavor of the month.


Filed under Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange, Recruiting

6 responses to “Today’s extended metaphor: In sickness and in health

  1. dean

    In fact, he fell in love so much with UT that he “married” the Vols.

    So he’s basically marrying someone who’s carrying a ton of emotional baggage, being divorced and jilted within the last two years, and is really suffering from a substantial lack of self esteem. What could possibly go wrong?


  2. lame kiffen

    Pat Martin’s wife? Yeah, I fucked her.


  3. JC in Powder Springs

    Unfortunately, more than 50% of marriages end in divorce. I hope they’ll stay together for the children’s sake. But if you do breakup, vols get the house and you’ll end up paying support for a decade.

    I’m glad the Dawgs aren’t recruiting this kid.


  4. Divorce Lawyer

    Trust me son. She’s screwing around on you with others that she might like a lot better. Plus. you just might catch something you can’t get rid of with a dose of penicillin.


    • Macallanlover

      I initially thought this post was related to Hostess Gate….a large supply of penicillin would be in order then as well.