Loran, whaddya got?

Less.

The mother of all hot seat articles

Congrats to Andy Staples, who’s managed to pack every single “here’s why Mark Richt is in trouble” angle known to man into this black hole of a story.  I’m not exaggerating:

• “You probably know it’s entirely possible that Richt’s Bulldogs and Miles’ Tigers have the talent to finish this season in the top 10. You probably also know that either one could get fired if things go sideways this season.”
• “Two Augusts ago, could you have imagined any scenario in which Tommy Tuberville would be fired at Auburn and Phillip Fulmer would be fired at Tennessee?”
• “It may not be fair. It certainly isn’t sensible. But that’s the SEC.”
• “In any other conference, Richt’s name wouldn’t appear anywhere near the phrase “hot seat.” … He’s never notched single-digit wins in back-to-back seasons. Yet here he is.”
• “Evans is gone now, thanks to a late-night traffic stop and a pair of red panties in his lap.”
• ” … McGarity was the de facto consigliere for Gators athletic director Jeremy Foley.”
• “After last season, the fiercely loyal Richt had to sacrifice defensive coordinator Willie Martinez and all but one defensive assistant to keep the natives happy.”

I mean, seriously, did he miss anything there?  It’s the conference; it’s the new athletic director (bonus points for the red panties mention and the Mafia analogy); it’s us.  Crazy is just how we roll here.

All of which is summed up in the most hyperbolic statement of all.

… Here’s the problem with those national title expectations. In every other region besides SEC country and Austin, Texas, people understand that only one team can win the BCS title in a given season. But the people in Athens, Baton Rouge, Gainesville and Tuscaloosa legitimately believe their team should win every year.

If that’s true, I guess Urban Meyer is on the hot seat.

In response, I thought we might try a scientific experiment.  A childish one, too.  That’s right, it’s time for a poll.

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Lane Kiffin is gone and I miss him (well, sort of).

I have to admit that, between Spurrier’s crack about Tennessee dropping North Carolina from the schedule and the not s0 veiled criticism that’s starting to crop up about Hotel-gate, had Junior stuck around this year, his witty repartee would have been blogger heaven.

C’mon, baby, where’s your guts?

For those of you quaking in your boots about using A.J. Green to return punts, check out who’s in line to succeed Javier Arenas at Alabama.

If A.J. is the best Richt’s got, use him, damn it.

Some traditions are more hallowed than others.

Matt Hinton, in the context of an impassioned plea to the Big Ten to leave well enough alone with regard to the Michigan-Ohio State game, has this to say:

… If it succeeds on that front, and The Michigan-Ohio State Game™ is no more valuable as the championship matchup than any other potential championship matchup between deserving teams, there’s no incentive whatsoever to risk blowing up the hallowed traditions that mean so much to so many people on both sides. Keep the game where it’s always been, at the end of the schedule. Keep the game what it’s always been, the ritualistic culmination of an entire season in a single, freezing orgy of centuries-old hate that cannot be overturned or redeemed for at least another 365 days. In good years, the division championship (hence a shot at the conference championship) will be on the line, preserving the familiar winner-take-all/loser-go-home intensity that made “The Game” what it is in the first place.

Forsaking all of that in the hope of an extremely marginal increase in TV ratings for two or three championship games per decade is extremely cynical, but it (probably) wouldn’t make Jim Delany one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse. It also wouldn’t make the conference any better or more valuable than it would be otherwise, and it would arbitrarily undermine one of its most valuable, unique pillars for virtually nothing. Michigan-Ohio State already stands on its own…

Now, I don’t argue with a single word he writes there, but (and you knew there had to be a “but”, right?) I’m having a hard time squaring his eloquent sentiment with his unabashed support for a college football playoff.

Take his post and substitute “regular season” for “The Game” and “extended playoff” for “Big Ten Championship”.  How does that then read any differently from the uneasiness I’ve expressed about the risk that a D-1 postseason negatively impacts what makes college football better than any other organized sport – a truly meaningful regular season?

I’m not trying to be snarky here – I’d genuinely like to know how those of you who dismiss my fretting about a diminished regular season yet agree with his point about the Big Ten can reconcile the two positions.

Program FEI: the Bizarro World Stewart Mandel

One thing you can say about Football Outsiders’ Brian Fremeau – when it comes to determining élite college football programs, he’s not from Montana.

At least it was nothing personal.

Regardless of whether you feel Jim Donnan got a raw deal when he was dismissed as Georgia’s head coach, you’ve got to admit that the man wasn’t without flaws about how he ran the football program.  For one thing, people handling skills were never Coach Donnan’s strong suit.

Dunta Robinson gives us one example.

… and the Athens product will forever stew over having been passed over by the hometown Bulldogs.

“Their coach, Jim Donnan, has said he had nothing to do with it,” Robinson said. “He said it was the recruiting coordinator [Rodney Garner]. I still blame Donnan. He’s the coach. He should have overruled everybody.”

Seriously, how lame is it for a head coach to tell an eighteen-year old that he has no control over who gets a scholarship offer?

I bet Garner loved getting thrown under the bus, too.

Thursday morning buffet

Rise and shine, people.

• Getting excited about Georgia’s secondary.
• Luckily, we can help with this.
• Renee Gork’s replacement doesn’t own a Gators hat, I bet.
• Chicken or egg?  Big Six conferences average much higher recruiting ratings than their mid-majors counterparts.
• When Derek Dooley scrimmages, he covers everything:  “… they’ll march into Neyland Stadium down Peyton Manning Pass and Phillip Fulmer Way. The Game Maxims will be recited, and the Vols will run through some sort of ‘T.'” Too bad the SEC doesn’t track pre-game standings.
• Herschel Walker vs. Bill Bates doesn’t have quite the same impact from the Vol perspective.
• Incredibly, Weslye Saunders is still staying at the Whitney Hotel.

“We gotta nip it in the bud.”

Your morning comedy, brought to you by two of the leading lights on Finebaum’s radio show.

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“We gotta nip it in the bud.”, posted with vodpod

Now you know how cliches are born. (h/t Capstone Report)