“Unless you’re calling to apologize, don’t call my phone no more,”

Yesterday wasn’t a good day for Auburn football.  In addition to the school’s confirmation that the trees at Toomer’s Corner were poisoned, FoxSports.com’s Thayer Evans reported that the NCAA is hot on the trail of Trooper Taylor for possible recruiting violations.

… Lorio said the NCAA investigator who interviewed him asked if he believed Auburn had committed NCAA violations in its recruitment of Robinson, who signed with the national champion Tigers earlier this month. Robinson and Reed, who redshirted as a freshman this past season, were both primarily recruited by Trooper Taylor, Auburn’s assistant head coach.

“I can’t say what Auburn did because I don’t know and I wasn’t involved very much,” Lorio said Wednesday. “I really don’t know truthfully.”

“My answer is what went on with Greg’s recruitment, you’re going to have ask Trooper Taylor, Greg, his parents and, I believe, Sean Nelson. I don’t have any more answers because I don’t know.”

Nelson sounds like quite a guy.

… Nelson says his mentoring program, Total Package, consists of 30 kids, has 10 workers and is based out of a local church. He says not all boys in the program are involved in athletics, but for those like Robinson, the program provides opportunities to work out with an adult in the evenings.

“It’s for kids that need help in any kind of way,” Nelson says.

Nelson says he hopes to someday devote all his time to the program. He plans to seek grants for it; he currently raises money through donations and fundraisers.

Nelson says he has known Reed since the player was in sixth grade and became his guardian after Reed’s mother died nearly two years ago. He says he didn’t realize Reed had a chance to play college football until the youngster performed well at an LSU camp early in his high school career, and says he didn’t have a plan for Reed’s recruitment until a higher power stepped in.

“God gave me a vision,” he says.

According to Nelson, God told him to take Reed to camps and “live on the Internet” so he could do research and network with web-based recruiting gurus.

The Lord works in mysterious ways sometimes, although in this case, Trooper Taylor seems to have figured it out.

… Lorio said the NCAA investigator also asked about Robinson’s grandmother, Lydia Robinson, whom Lorio said he has never met. Robinson said Wednesday she was not interviewed by the NCAA and declined further comment.

But she told FOXSports.com last month that she was unhappy with Auburn’s recruitment of her grandson and Nelson having taken him to Auburn on unofficial visits. Robinson also hoped her grandson would choose another school.

She said Auburn’s coaches “weren’t very intelligent” and was especially critical of Taylor, who she says “got a lot of lies in there when he was talking.”

That sort of sounds like the old joke “how do you know when XXXX is lying?  His lips are moving.”

Look on the bright side, Auburn fans.  At least the story doesn’t involve Cecil Newton.