Ja’Juan Story, my new favorite Florida Gator

You can’t make this shit up… literally:

Q: What’s your favorite pre-game ritual?

A: Well, I take a doodoo. Before every game I doodoo.

Q: That’s your FAVORITE pregame ritual?

A: Well, that’s the only thing I do. That’s one thing I have to do before every game, or I won’t feel energy, and I’ll just feel slow. When I do I just feel light on my feet and everything, and I feel faster, so that’s what I do.

Q: You know I’m going to write this in a story right?

A: Well, I mean, that’s what it is. I doodoo and then listen to Katy Perry.

Here’s hoping he’s constipated in Jacksonville.  I’ll root for regularity the rest of the season.

37 Comments

Filed under Gators, Gators..., The Body Is A Temple

37 responses to “Ja’Juan Story, my new favorite Florida Gator

  1. mykiesee

    Just….damn.

    Like

  2. Wonderful Ohio on the Gulf 'Dog

    Adds new meaning to the phrase “Go Gators!” now doesn’t it?

    Like

  3. Cousin Eddie

    That’s got to be one huge DOODOO “When I do I just feel light on my feet and everything”

    Like

  4. Chuck

    “I doodoo, and then I listen to Katy Perry”

    Who doesn’t want that?🙂

    Like

  5. Tenn_Dawg

    Q: What’s your most embarrassing moment on the field?

    A: I was running, I was gonna score a touchdown and then some kid came behind me and grabbed my pants down, and my pants came down, so it was pretty embarrassing. I think I turned red a little bit. My booty was out, it was pretty embarrassing.

    I guess he did not get to doodoo that game and was not as light on his feet…therefore he was caught from behind.

    The news from Gator land has been very entertaining lately to say the least.

    Like

  6. whiskeydawg

    Perfect pregame ritual. Making other Gator fans

    Like

  7. Scott

    The phrase “No comment” is way under utilized in this day and age.

    Like

    • Scott

      I’m still belly laughing at this doodoo a day later.

      “I doodoo and then listen to Katy Perry.”

      Like

  8. Mohammar

    What thoroughbred doesn’t shit like a racehorse before the big game? All my quarterhorses do.

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shit%20like%20a%20racehorse

    And then, of course, to relive the exquisite experience, JJ listens to some sounds from Katy

    Like

  9. Spence

    Get that shit out of here.

    Like

  10. Wonderful Ohio on the Gulf 'Dog

    What 17- or 18-year-old uses the word “doodoo?”

    Like

  11. mdr

    Listening to Katy Perry always makes me doodoo.

    Like

  12. Prov

    Well, Katy Perry’s music does remind me of a pile of shit. So it kind of makes sense.

    Like

  13. carefulBrad

    Gay-Turds

    Like

  14. ScoutDawg

    Full of shit as a fu gator comes to mind.

    Like

  15. Irishdawg

    Get this man some cheese before the Cocktail Party.

    Like

  16. Derek

    Someone needs to put up a plaque next to “The Promise Speech” in honor of this. Call it “The Ritual.”

    Like

  17. AthensHomerDawg

    Texas Dawg….Coach this poor, disadvantaged youth up please!

    Like

  18. Hogbody Spradlin

    That is priceless.

    Like

  19. CoachSpurlock

    Hoe. Lee. Crap.
    Dang brother, I don’t believe I’d a told that one.

    Like

  20. ChicagoDawg

    I guess this confirms the speculation that Story will be lined up as a Skat-back in Weis’ offensive scheme.

    Like

  21. Hunkering Hank

    He uses the term doo doo because the only other word he can use to describe that bodily function is profane. What a doo doo head.

    Like

  22. BMan

    Famous pre-game rituals around college football:

    Cadets and Midshipmen march into stadium;
    War Eagle flies around stadium;
    Ralphie the buffalo runs onto field;
    Touching Howard’s rock at Clemson; and
    Taking a doodoo and listening to Katy Perry.

    Yep, football started in 1990 alright.

    Like

  23. Coondawg

    So, what he’s trying to say is…..He’s full of crap.

    Like

  24. Mike

    The young man IS fast as shit. So his routine makes sense, from that perspective

    Like

  25. Ausdawg85

    Laughed so hard I doo-doo’ed my pants!

    Like

  26. Dawgy45

    If Tennessee works this into their speed drills then I reckon they will have to revisit that whole hand washing/personal hygiene issue again.

    Like

  27. Pingback: Ja'Juan Story Has a Practical Pregame Ritual - Friends of the Program

  28. Katy Perry's DooDoo

    Damn Juan, you stole my thunder.

    Like

  29. Katy Perry's DooDoo

    Ja’Juan. Sorry, I missed a stutter.

    Like

  30. Cojones

    Question: What’s the state bird of Florida?

    Answer: The blue and orange DooDoo Bird.

    Like