Death, taxes and Stephen Garcia’s reinstatement…
Filed under 'Cock Envy
It’s not exactly the Big One Elizabeth.
And I am not coming to join you, Honey.
Does this really surprise anybody. Short of raping Steve’s wife or daughter Garcia is as sure to start for the Cocks as the sun is to rise in the East. To be “suspended” 5 times in 5 years but never to have missed a start due to a suspension says all you need to know about Steven Orr Superior. He can smell that title and nothing is going to stop him now. He can always bring the discipline hammer down on a marginal player to show how tough he is.
Bringing the spector of rape into this is a tad uncouth, me thinks.
The season ain’t started yet. Give the boy time.
I think it may go down something like this:
Eric Hyman, Athletic Director: They got a name for people like you, Stephen.
Coach Spurrier: That name is called ”recidivism.”
Hyman: Repeat offender!
Spurrier: Not a pretty name, is it, Stephen?
Garcia: No, sir. That’s one bonehead name. But that ain’t me anymore.
Hyman: Are you just tellin’ us what we wanna hear?
Garcia: No, sir, no way.
Spurrier: Cos we just wanna hear the truth.
Garcia: Well, then l guess l am tellin’ you what you wanna hear.
Hyman: Boy, didn’t we just tell you not to do that?
Garcia: Yes, sir.
Hyman: OK, then.
Spurrier: I got the menstral cramps real hard.
“This is really surprising”-said no one anywhere.
This is also a statement of the development (or lack thereof) of Connor Shaw.
Officer, this time it will be different. He’s really changed! Really! He even apologized for the abuse. Things are going to be different now! I can feel it!
Leave it to Ja’Juan to listen to Katy Perry before a game.
No one, except maybe Brad Pitt’s publicist, could have ever predicted without listening to the “Stephen Garcia Story”
that Stephen would listen to a movie soundtrack before each game
The next time there is a pile-up after a fumble and Garcia is in it somebody needs to bite him on the heel.
REPORTER: Steve, please stop pissing on my leg.
SPURRIER: Nah, it’s raining.
“... Shoot, why does anybody who’s ever won something do it again? Because it’s cool. So, let’s go do it again. Let’s see if we’ve got what it takes.” -- Stetson Bennett, The Athletic, 3/22/22
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