Is there a “10 Worst” List of “10 Worst” Lists?

If not, there should be.

It’s been a little while since I’ve directed any attention Heisman Pundit’s way, but the man who came up with the most subjective rating system for top college offenses ever has caught my eye with his list of the ten worst head coaches in college football.

It’s exactly the kind of showing you’d expect from someone who firmly believes the SEC is overrated (isn’t recruiting part of being a good head coach?) and fairly alien to cutting edge offensive strategy.

But here’s the part that’s pure comedy gold.

8. Will Muschamp, Florida – How can Muschamp be on this list when he hasn’t even coached a game as head coach yet? Well, I’m basing it on his decision making process so far, namely going back to an NFL-style offense that doesn’t take advantage of the incredible spread talent he has on hand.  I think by this time next year, he’ll have earned his way on this list by virtue of his team’s performance on the field, but for now call this a predictive placement.

That’s right – dude hasn’t stepped on his first sideline as a head coach yet and he’s already one of the worst because he hired Charlie Weis.  That’s not even the best part, though.  Care to guess what school HP added to his Gang of Six list in 2006, kicking Meyer-less Utah off to do so?

Look at Gang of Six member Notre Dame as a perfect example. In 2004’s system, they were shit. In 2005 with a new system, they are very good. What is the common denominator?

So Charlie Weis was successful enough to justify being in HP’s good graces in 2006, but is now the excuse to pound Florida?  Evidently so.

… You see, the Weis system requires that the quarterback be a statue.  A mobile quarterback might actually gain yards via a designed run or through the improvisation of his feet instead of, say, checking down as taught and making a play with his arm (thus rendering pointless Weis’s tutelage).

But, see, it’s not Charlie Weis that’s different.  It’s college football.

… But Quinn played for Notre Dame and, besides, college football offenses have changed quite a bit since then–as has the perception of what constitutes a good offense and a good player.

I’m not sure what annoys me more about all of this nonsense – that HP’s made me defend Charlie Weis, or that he’s compiled a worst coaches list without Mike Locksley’s name on it.

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UPDATE:  Elkon isn’t impressed with HP’s list, either.

Putting a damper on Preseason Homerism

Call this a statistical course correction:

Think your team is going to see a big win jump over '10? Only 5.7% of teams have a 4 game or more improvement season over season since '01

— Dave Bartoo (@CFBMatrix) June 21, 2011

Okay, okay, it’s not impossible…

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UPDATE:  More fleshed-out information here.  Here’s what he has to say about last year’s six-win teams:

6 Wins -Statistically, if your team is in this group, you have reason to be excited and look forward to the 2011 season.  Only 37 percent of the teams (out of 43) have gone on to a 5-7 or worse record coming off a 6-6 season.  One of these teams will likely be at 6-6 again and the rest 7+ wins are the best odds.  Of the 43, 3 of those teams went on to go 11-1 the following year.  They only one capable of that is Georgia, but the last two years of coaching effect go against the Bulldogs.  One of these teams will be at 4-8 or worse and put a coach on the hot seat for 2012, or get them released at the end of the season.

Teams	Division/ Conference	2010 Wins	4 Yr. M.A Recruiting Rank
Georgia	SEC E	6	6
Kentucky	SEC E	6	45
Arizona State	PAC12 S	6	36
Washington	PAC12 N	6	24
BYU	Indep	6	60
Clemson	ACC – A	6	23
Georgia Tech	ACC – C	6	46
Illinois	Big Ten – Ldrs	6	40
Louisville	Big East	6	44

He’s getting the band back together.

Meet the latest addition to Georgia’s strength and conditioning staff.

“Why would I go? I don’t have a team.”

I know this isn’t a particularly profound observation on my part, but nobody – and I mean nobody – in college athletics has more chutzpah than Jim Delany.

Clueless

Shorter Dennis Dodd:  pay-for-play is for student-athletes?  Damn, I thought it was for San Jose State.

Still big.

Via DawgPost, Big John Jenkins, on campus and living large.

That’s supposed to be Justin Scott-Wesley (ht. 6′ 1″, wt. 210 lbs.) next to Jenkins.

John Blake is a veddy bahd mahn. And Butch Davis is sorry about that.

Now this is how you violate NCAA rules:

The notice contains allegations of violation of NCAA bylaws including:

• Allegations against former assistant coach John Blake:
– unethical conduct for providing false and misleading information to the NCAA enforcement staff and to the institution and for failure to cooperate with the investigation.
– marketed athletic abilities of student-athletes to agent Gary Wichard
– received outside income that he did not report to the institution

• Allegations against alumna Jennifer Wiley:
– unethical conduct for refusing to provide information to the NCAA enforcement staff and to the institution
– provided extra benefits to student-athletes in the form of travel and parking expenses, and tutoring

• Allegations of academic fraud against student-athletes and the tutor

• Allegations that student-athletes received preferential treatment and accepted impermissible benefits

• Allegations against a former student-athlete for unethical conduct

• Failure by the institution to adequately monitor the conduct of Chris Hawkins, an individual triggering NCAA agent legislation; the social media activity of the football team for a period in 2010; and possible extra benefits to a student-athlete triggered by agent legislation.

It’s all serious stuff, but the most egregious thing there concerns Blake.  As Matt Hinton puts it,

… Please stop for a moment to allow the fact to sink in that the NCAA believes a major program was employing an assistant coach who was acting as a runner for an agent. The NFLPA seems to have been suitably convinced of the arrangement between Blake and Wichard, as well, having slapped the latter with a nine-month suspension last December prior to Wichard’s death from cancer.

As Hinton goes on to mention, if what Todd McNair did was wrong, Blake’s actions were off-the-charts bad.

Yet Stewart Mandel believes there’s a decent chance that North Carolina will skate with lesser penalties from the NCAA than Southern Cal did.  Why?  You can probably guess:

… Blake’s nefarious role in all this (which includes his own unethical conduct charge for withholding information from investigators) is the biggest source of mystery as to how his boss, Davis, managed to avoid the NCAA’s wrath. In a document outlining its Principles of Institutional Control, one of the acts the Committee cites as “likely to demonstrate lack of institutional control” is if “A head coach … fails to monitor the activities of assistant coaches regarding compliance.” But it then follows that up with: ” … the head coach cannot be charged with the secretive activities of an assistant bent on violating NCAA rules.” Apparently the school did a bang-up job portraying Blake as just such a character, absolving Davis and the school for failing to uncover his secret employer.

Granted, he’s got a point.  UNC didn’t get slapped with a Lack of Institutional Control charge but the slightly lesser Failure to Monitor.  (And if this isn’t a case that justifies ending the distinction between the two, I’m hard-pressed to think of a situation that would.)  I’m rather gobsmacked that the NCAA bought the argument that Davis knew nothing about what Blake, a man with whom he shared a long-standing relationship, was up to, but there you go.  On the other hand, go back to something Hinton wrote.

… If you’ve been following this case from the beginning, none of those charges are new. But it is eye-opening to see all of them exhaustively detailed in one place for the first time, and there is no escaping the conclusion that the Tar Heels are going to feel the maximum, USC-level pain in response — up to and including a postseason ban and heavy scholarship losses. Institutionally, North Carolina worked hard to distance itself from the worst offenders ingratiate itself as a collaborator in justice when it became aware of the violations, but if the NCAA can’t throw the book at a school that employed an assistant coach it accuses of acting as a runner for an NFL agent, it might as well ditch the rulebook and badges and rename itself the “Basketball Tournament Deposit Association.”

Amen to that.  There’s just too much there for Davis’ professed ignorance to make a profound difference.  At least I hope so.  Otherwise, for defensive purposes, we can expect a quantum leap in institutional cluelessness – to a level that would match Mark Emmert’s, it would seem.