You know, I think we could all use some comic relief this morning.
Filed under Tommy Tuberville - Mythical National Champ
It’s a good look for Tubs. “But it’s all hat and no cattle”. What does that even mean? Whatever. “It’s bushwhacking time”.
“Guns up”, boys.
All Hat, No Cattle means all show, no substance.
That’s fantastic. Thank you for sharing.
Our team may be frustrating as hell, but at least we don’t have Tubs dressing up as cowboy!
If they win, who cares if Tubs dresses up like a cowboy. If CMR could win again, I wouldn’t care if he made a video dressed up in drag playing Cinderella.
Some people were all ready to sign up Tubs as our DC a few years ago, we laugh but he’d have been an improvement over Willie Mo, or that tough talking non-factor we have in the position now.
Wait, I thought tough talk won football games.
Problem is if we’d hired Tommy Tuberville and the defense looked great, he’d be popping off in public taking all the credit for the team’s success, then he’d ditch us for the UNC or Clemson job after this season.
And if we’d hired him and the defense still stunk, well . . . we’d be in the position we are now.
I’m not advocating hiring him, I’m just not going to make fun of him when he’s better than what we got.
Definitely more fun than Damon’s don’t drink and drive messages.
I like it.
The comedy, for us, is rich; the relief for Texas Tech Fan to go from a ten win entertaining team to a 6 win snooze-fest. middle-of-the-pack, traditional futbawl team, must be hard to find.
I know, and we don’t even get no stinkin’ video with cowboy hats and guns.
Appreciate the effort but I feel no relief.
That video supports the following premise, which I am in the process of disseminating far and wide.
After careful consideration, taking into account all available options, I have come to the conclusion that Mark Richt needs a mustache.
I mean, think about it: a mustache means business. If he had a mustache, it would be impossible not to take Mark Richt seriously. He would instantly command the respect and envy of his players, opposing coaches, and most of the fans in the stands.
Consider, for a moment, the awe-inspiring power of Tom Selleck’s mustache. Cast your memory back to the truly majestic mustache John Oates long favored (and note that his power diminished substantially when he chose to shave it off). Chuck Norris has a mustache; how could he not? As perhaps the most salient illustration of the mustache as a beacon of masculinity and respect, I direct your attention to the immortal film “Tombstone.” Those gentlemen simply could not be denied…thanks, in large part, to their epic facial hair.
If Mark Richt adopted a mustache, Georgia’s projected win total would increase by at least three games. His players and assistant coaches couldn’t help but respect him, and motivation would therefore never again present a problem. The players’ conditioning would also likely improve almost instantly, as they could vicariously draw upon some of the mustache’s innate power. And opposing players would, conversely, be rendered weak and impotent in its presence.
Recruits — and their parents, especially mothers and grandmothers — would be unable to say “no” to a mustachioed Mark Richt. Opposing coaches would be afraid to shake his hand, lest they be left with crushed fingers. And once that mustache is well established, Katharyn Richt can look forward to a series of doctor-stumping pregnancies.
When Mike Bobo laid eyes upon Mark Richt’s intimidating lip weasel, he would finally realize that there was no more time for messing around. Consequently, his game-planning and play-calling would instantaneously be whipped into coherence, for fear of incurring the wrath of his newly formidable boss. Same goes for Grantham — in fact, I strongly recommend that he, too, cultivate an imposing soup-strainer, for obvious reasons.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the only acceptable course of action. Mark Richt must grow a mustache, and he must do so immediately. It is, at this point, the only way.
Subscribe in a reader
Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.
Join 2,019 other followers