October 24, 2011 · 12:58 PM

Zen and the art of being 0-4 in the SEC East

I don’t have a clue what this is supposed to mean.

https://twitter.com/#!/wesrucker247/status/128509349302779904

Feel free to translate in the comments.

57 Comments

Filed under Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange

57 responses to “Zen and the art of being 0-4 in the SEC East”

  1. Mike
    October 24, 2011 at 1:00 PM

    He and Les have the best quotes. The difference is that Les can recruit and coach.

    Like

    • citizencrane
      October 24, 2011 at 1:19 PM

      Not a completely fair comparison…. Saban left LSU a cupboard full of talent and momentum whereas Dooley was brought in to right a sinking ship…

      Now you can make a good argument that Dooley wouldn’t have got the job if the ship hadn’t been sinking but do you think that Les would be in a considerably better place as a Vol in the same situation?

      Like

      • Mike
        October 24, 2011 at 4:03 PM

        Saban indeed left Les with a full cupboard. And Les keeps restocking it with elite talent. And even with all that talent, many people think is is a bit of a retard. But winning consistently is its own balm. I have grown to like Les.

        So you are right that maybe the comparison is unfair. Dooley needs a few more years to either prove himself or not. Much to our continued entertainement.

        Like

        • HobnailedBoots
          October 25, 2011 at 1:15 AM

          He won’t get “a few more years.” Dooley was a placeholder hire. I don’t know why people think they’ll stick with a guy who has never proven himself in a HC capacity, never built a program anywhere, and isn’t doing anything at UT. People say about new coaches – “give him time to get HIS players in his system…” but Dooley doesn’t have a “system.” He’s just not a very good coach.

          Like

  2. heyberto
    October 24, 2011 at 1:00 PM

    Is the pressure getting to Dooley? Is he losing his mind?

    Like

  3. Spence
    October 24, 2011 at 1:10 PM

    I know what happened: He’s been watching a lot of Jersey Shore, and was misquoted. He’s actually referring to the “Smush Room” which is where the cast members of Jersey Shore go to have sex with people they pick up at the club or eachother. It is a very small room.

    This media and their “gotcha moments.” Sigh.

    Like

  4. aristoggle
    October 24, 2011 at 1:16 PM

    Maybe he was doin’ ‘shrooms …

    Like

  5. Joe
    October 24, 2011 at 1:16 PM

    He’s on them is all I can think?

    Like

  6. Joe
    October 24, 2011 at 1:16 PM

    He’s not a poet and we all know it!

    Like

  7. Irwin Fletcher
    October 24, 2011 at 1:22 PM

    I think he got that off a Laffy Taffy wrapper.

    Like

  8. ThinkingBulldog (@ThinkingBulldog)
    October 24, 2011 at 1:23 PM

    …and my law degree from the University of Georgia just became that much less valuable….

    Like

  9. Can't Get Right
    October 24, 2011 at 1:25 PM

    There is no i in team, but there is one in win.
    You can’t spell sweat without eat
    The ball ain’t heavy, but it ain’t round neither
    Corch told me that real men cry

    Like

  10. stick jackson (@stickjacksonuga)
    October 24, 2011 at 1:31 PM

    The problem, as so often, is one of sequencing. As Tony Montana counseled Phil Jackson:

    “In America, first you get the players. Then you get the rings. And then (and only then) you cultivate the Zen master persona.”

    Also, he needs better writers. The mushroom thing is more Highlights/Boys Life than a proper stupid Skymall corporate motivational poster.

    Like

  11. fetch
    October 24, 2011 at 2:36 PM

    Confusious say “Man who walks through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok, and man who walks though Knoxville after a Kiffen is going to Bumfuck.”

    Like

  12. ScooBoo
    October 24, 2011 at 2:39 PM

    Ask Barbara.

    Like

  13. stoopnagle
    October 24, 2011 at 2:57 PM

    /nowhere

    Like

  14. Derek
    October 24, 2011 at 3:04 PM

    Comversion: we are lower than cow shit. We are what grows on cow shit. We have a long way to go to be worth a shit.

    Like

  15. Big Muddy Dawg
    October 24, 2011 at 3:13 PM

    Psilocybin is a hell of a drug.

    Like

  16. Ty Webb
    October 24, 2011 at 3:48 PM

    A flute with no holes is not a flute, and a doughnut with no holes is a Danish.

    Like

    • Judge Smails
      October 24, 2011 at 4:32 PM

      How about a Fresca?

      Like

    • Carl Spackler
      October 25, 2011 at 1:30 AM

      This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff.

      Like

      • Carl Spackler
        October 25, 2011 at 1:32 AM

        So I jump ship in Hong Kong and I make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking. So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one – big hitter, the Lama – long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.” And he says, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.” So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.

        Like

  17. Go Dawgs!
    October 24, 2011 at 3:50 PM

    “What’s the hardest out you can get? Shutout, which we were in the second half the last two weeks. What’s the best out you can get? Buyout. And I’ve got a huge one just waiting for the signature on the check. Seriously. I’m ready when you are, Vols.”

    Like

  18. Derek
    October 24, 2011 at 4:10 PM

    You can’t have success without “suck” first.

    Like

  19. AndroidLloyd
    October 24, 2011 at 5:11 PM

    There’s a lady who won Mother of the Year in New York IN 1960’S named Louise Heath Leber. She said ‘there’s always room for improvement–it’s the biggest room in the house”.

    Dooley plagiarized her.

    Like

  20. W Cobb Dawg
    October 24, 2011 at 5:13 PM

    In DD’s defense, he does have to dumb things down for the ut fan base and players. You’ll recall last year he had to teach them how to shower.

    Like

  21. Cojones
    October 24, 2011 at 8:01 PM

    Just heard a comment on CSS sports show that Crowell had criticized Bobo’s play calling and Richt had him out of the game to give him an appreciation of the calls. If that is true, bloggers should be sensitive that young minds read and don’t understand what you refer to as sarcasm in the same way that recruits do.

    Senator , is there some way to detect interloping moles from sincere, yet insensitive UGA grads? If not, I think that all muckraking (not you Muckbeast) Bobo and Richt comments should be put in abeyance at this time of the year. We should assume that any negative low rundowns should all be taken as sarcasm in the lowest form of humor and mocked as such.

    Like

    • Mayor of Dawgtown
      October 24, 2011 at 9:41 PM

      He was out the whole 4th quarter and got to observe the playcalling in that quarter, too. I hope he learned how to appreciate how Bobo’s playcalling at the end almost blew the win in that game. Mock me. Go on.

      Like

  22. NRBQ
    October 24, 2011 at 8:43 PM

    Who’s gonna be the comment cop, Cojones? You?

    So Crowell was out a quarter because he missed the sarcasm in a blog. That the gist?

    If I hadn’t already read a hundred of your attempts to to make this a cheerleading blog, I’d think you were fuckin’ kidding.

    Like

    • Normaltown Mike
      October 24, 2011 at 9:14 PM

      “Who’s gonna be the comment cop, Cojones? You?”

      I have a picture in my head of Col. Jessup on the stand snarling at Maverick.

      Like

      • JG Shellnutt
        October 25, 2011 at 5:31 AM

        Son, we live in a world that has yardmarkers, and those yardmarkers have to be guarded by men with football pads. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Cojones? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Crowell, and you curse the Dawgs. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Crowell’s benching, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me in that coach’s box, you need me in that coach’s box. We use words like honor, code, junkyard dawgs, loyalty, GATA. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent getting at the goalline. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very offense that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a football and clipboard, and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.
        -Coach / Colonel Bobo Jessup

        Like

    • Cojones
      October 24, 2011 at 10:46 PM

      NRBQ, if you are a Dawg fan, I can’t understand why you would diss the post, but thanks for keeping score. I hadn’t counted. You can go back to your dead tree branch now and wait for an “L”.

      Like

      • Mayor of Dawgtown
        October 24, 2011 at 11:37 PM

        If you’re gonna insist that he go out on a limb the least you can do is to give him a saw, Senor.

        Like

      • NRBQ
        October 25, 2011 at 12:38 PM

        I’m not waiting for a loss.

        I’m waiting for the end of your reign as self-appointed arbiter of what is (and isn’t) content befitting “real fans” on the internet.

        Like

  23. Bard Parker
    October 25, 2011 at 8:08 AM

    There is no spoon

    Like