Montana logic

Shorter Stewart Mandel:  Expansion will be the downfall of the SEC because they don’t know how to tailgate in Missouri.


UPDATE:  I wonder if this is the kind of tailgate experience Mandel is referring to.  (h/t


Filed under Media Punditry/Foibles, SEC Football

36 responses to “Montana logic

  1. Hogbody Spradlin

    Bear in mind Missouri wad admitted as a slave state. It was semi-confederate during the Civil War, and a large number of small and medium unit battles were fought there. My point (and any inferences are unintended): it’s not completely yankee.

    • Bobby Peru

      Implications…we infer from your implications.

    • AthensHomerDawg

      I always enjoy your posts…. still NOT a Southern State. Semi-confederate is like semi-hard. Your hoping or pretending.

    • Derek

      Since bill quantrill and his raiders were not only pro-confederacy and led a sack on Lawrence Kansas (
      Pro-union state) killing every man woman and child they came across were from Missouri it could be argued that any redneck idiot who hates race mixin but loves dred Scott and Jim crow should be honored to unite with Missouri. Of course those of us living in the 21st century are just wondering if the tigers like being 5th or 6th in their division ever year or not.

  2. Mister Drysdale

    This douchebag has been predicting the SECs downfall for years now, at least since 08 after LSUs victory. I guess bashing the SEC is good for getting page views from big ten fans, or he’s just a big bag of dicks.

  3. it’s ok we’ll learn’em how. It’s not that hard, I can do it when I’m drunk.

  4. I’ve grown fond of Stewart over the last couple of years, and I hadn’t read this yet, but … honestly, I’m not sure he’s EVER been to a game in Columbia, so I’ll go ahead and just ignore whatever he has to say about Mizzou’s athletic culture. As many will learn in coming years, Missouri’s a fun place to see a game. We’ll need to raise our game, both in terms of attendance and tailgating, but a) we do draw actual people to see us play, and b) we do tailgate. We’ll be alright, as will the conference who has decided to bring us into the fold.

    • fuelk2

      Please assure us that KC bbq is well represented at tailgates and that people are willing to share. That would be enough to entice me to make the trip. In return, we will endeavor to bring some of our finest southern craft brews. We understand that y’all typically drink some stuff that is brewed in St. Louis.

      • Cojones

        Tasted 6-7 of their crafted beers across the River at the town that was the jumpimg off place for the westward bound wagon trains. . Hard to decide which one to buy since they all were delicious. Ended up drinking 3 diff ones and had to stop before my 240 lbs got past it’s upright threshold.

        Columbia has one of the best women’s colleges in America. I would say that’s a great tailgating area. What the hell does Mandel know when he lives in a female-starved state? Unless you date Grizz.

  5. H-Town Dawg

    If Mandel actually believes his premise then he is a fool. If not, then he’s just continuing his efforts to dump on the SEC.

  6. Irishdawg

    A lot of my wife’s family are Mizzou fans, and they seem to be just as rabid as we Dawg fans are. They travel, they tailgate, all their shit is black and gold, etc. While I disagree with conference expansion and the addition of 2 new SEC teams, I welcome Missouri to the fold.

  7. Marshall

    The only real point he has is the mileage thing. But it’s a very valid point. Something should have been done to move Auburn to the East. Putting Mizzou in the East is ridiculous. While Columbia is about as far away as Fayetteville, we’ve only been having to make that trip once every five years as opposed to now having to go to Columbia, MO every other year (just like the rest of the East). The entire situation has been mishandled from the very beginning.

    • Go Dawgs!

      Not only does it screw the existing eastern division teams by making us take that trip every two years, but it also screws over our new conference mates royally. They have three or four or more of those road trips annually. I understand the desire to preserve Alabama-UT, but if we’re adding another conference game, mission accomplished. Put Missouri in the west where they belong and move Auburn and Alabama east. It’s better for us, and it’s certainly better for them.

      • LSU would certainly love your suggestion. The Tigers might lose the West once a decade.

        • Go Dawgs!

          We’ve been led to believe that Missouri and Texas A&M are our equals.😉

          I see your point, though, I just hate the idea of Missouri being in the East.

      • Scott W.

        UA in the East would certainly not work out for the Dawgs. That game could easily turn into a loss each year and make LSU into a juggernaut as the Senator pointed out. An AU move wouldn’t matter at all. What we need is a three division conference.😉

        • Cojones

          Where were you for the “Not man enough” game? And Stafford’s first play in overtime? I don’t get this defeatist attitude crap that some Dawgs have about Bama. or LSU. Hell, they were both glad that Greene graduated.

  8. Obnoxiousawg

    I really do not follow his logic. I understand his faulty premise that Mizzou folks don’t know what a tailgate is, but he leaped from Mizzou fans not tailgating to fewer great athletes signing with existing SEC teams. How he blames Mizzou for Georgia, Alabama, Florida and Louisiana kids nt signing with SEC schools is beyond me.

  9. sUGArdaddy

    Mizzou in the East is temporary. You’re going to see us add a couple of Eastern teams in the next few years and balance this thing out at 16. Then, Mizzou will switch to the West.

  10. Go Dawgs!

    Mandel is one of many American columnists who isn’t afraid to overstate his “facts” to make his argument seem valid. He’s right that the SEC has always made geographic sense. He’s wrong that our 12 schools have always been similar “culturally”. Vanderbilt’s similar in culture to Auburn?

    • Go Dawgs!

      Plus, we may not think of Texas or Missouri as southeastern states, but they do share borders with our current league states. It’s just expanding out by one more state. I personally didn’t want to go to Missouri for expansion, but it’s not the craziest of the ideas I heard.

  11. Krautdawg

    You guys just don’t know. My cousin was a KA president at Mizzou. Sure, their guys aren’t used to showing up in bowties & blazers, and no one wears croakies for some reason. But their sororities offer plenty, and I mean plenty of reasons to see Mizzou as an extension of SEC excellence.

    In short, Mizzou’s coeds are hotter than Auburn’s; Columbia is more fun than Lexington, Gainesville, Starkville, Auburn, or Fayetteville; the partying goes down just as hard as at UGA or UF; and Mizzou is actually a center of learning, which is more than we can say for Ole Miss, MSU, or (again) Auburn (and they “love it”).

    So if we can just get ’em to dress right, we can take ’em out in public and everything’ll be fine.

    • Cojones

      What is our current tailgate dress, Krautdawg? We better let’em know quick before they show up in the suspenders and Brogans Mandell used to paint us with.

      • Krautdawg

        What’s wrong with suspenders???

      • Cojones

        Consulted at St Louis a few yrs ago and went to see the Dawgs play in a large bar in a very large mall. It was Ozzie’s in West St Louis and I believe we played LSU. With many tvs in the place, they put the UGA-LSU game on in a corner and we filled up with a couple more Dawgs and a bunch of Tiger fans. We wondered why they put us in a corner until the main floor began to fill up with people 30 minutes into our game. Standing room only later signified that Mizzou was kicking off with a roar as if they were in the stadium. When our game was over, I joined them for the last 30 mins. They liked the Dawg cap I was wearing and were knowledgeable about the SEC. Had a great time with them and think the hydrophobia is not limited to the current SEC members. Must have been 200 good-spirited folks watching the 5 tvs with their game on. Great place, great crowd. Good area of the country for College Football with comparable SEC fans. Get ready for big O lines every year.

  12. Beakerdawg

    I do a lot of work in St Louis and some Mizzou fans are just as curious about their new conference allegiance as we are of these outsiders joining the Family but most are excited about the SEC. They have a main ingredient that all Dawg and SEC fans have. They absolutely hate their rival – Kansas. Any Auburn/Alabama, usc/clemson, uf/FSU, UGA/nerds can appreciate that. In the end, I believe it will be a good fit once we bring in two more teams from the East. St Louis is a cool town. The drive to Columbia is about like going from Macon to Athens. They’ll be just another black/gold,Tiger to hate

    • Dog in Fla

      “They absolutely hate their rival – Kansas.” Not only that, they call Kansas fans “beakers.” Missouri, like Jack, left thebeakers and the Missouri Breaks and is Goin’ South

  13. Roooollll Taaahd! Roooollll Taaahd! That’s going to be my new war cry every time I’m going to do something inane and juvenile.

  14. Dog in Fla

    “few cultures are as similar as Florida and Missouri.”

    As usual, Stewart is right. How does he know so much? Here are two gator guys in a lineup with a brother from another mother in between and a Mizzou hellraiser on the left

  15. I have already sent a letter to the Missouri newspaper welcoming them and inviting them to visit all venues.Once they have been to Athens and Oxford they will get the hang of it-Remember they are the SHOW ME STATE