Meet the next Bobby Petrino.

Todd Graham is leaving Pittsburgh to become Arizona State’s new head coach.  This makes his third head coaching move in four seasons, I believe.  And his departure was classy indeed.

… Pitt’s players were informed in a statement from Graham that was sent via text by assistant athletic director/football operations Blair Philbrick.

“I have resigned my position at Pitt in the best interest of my family to pursue the head coaching position at Arizona State,” Graham said. “Coaching there has always been a dream of ours and we have family there. The timing of the circumstances have prohibited from telling you this directly. I now am on my way to Tempe to continue those discussions. God Bless. Coach Graham.”

Well, God may work in mysterious ways, but Graham sure doesn’t.  He’s simply a hooker with a whistle.

… If these statements are true, they might not necessarily even mark a significant departure from Graham’s past negotiating tactics, which most notably include using bathroom breaks during contract talks with Rice University to leverage a better deal with Tulsa via cell phone in 2007.  Graham also reportedly got Pittsburgh to raise their initial offer to him in January by nearly half a million dollars by convincing the Pitt administration that he had nearly unbreakable ties to the Tulsa community.  He even went so far as to claim that his wife, Penni, would leave him if he left Tulsa, and had his wife write Facebook and Twitter status updates meant to mislead the Tulsa community as to his whereabouts during communications with Pitt officials.

I’m just amazed athletic directors keep hiring the guy.


Filed under It's Just Bidness

36 responses to “Meet the next Bobby Petrino.

  1. Faulkner

    I misread that to say Todd Grantham. Holy crap my stomach just dropped. Checking boxers…..

  2. Anon

    “I’m just amazed athletic directors keep hiring the guy.”

    Why? Like they’re the model of rational behavior and good decisions?

    ASU’s AD learned under USC’s Mike Garrett. ’nuff said.

    • UGAfoo

      Apparently Colorado State AD decided to employ a behavioral psychologist to ensure he did not act on his “gut” while selecting a new head coach. Not sure how the decision matrix came down to McElwain, but at least he used objectivity instead of feelings.

  3. TennesseeDawg

    Maybe Tennessee will hire him next year after Dooley is dumped.

  4. adam

    Man… What an asshole.

    • The Lone Stranger

      You’ve got that right. All through the season he was casually throwing the starting QB under the bus (though admittedly QB Sunseri is not the sharpest knife in the drawer) while stating he had to “work with what we have.” Looking back, these low profile jabs were deflecting any potential scrutiny that may have been rightly aimed at him. He must have been covertly negotiating his exit well before the season was even over, so now the Panthers sulk into the Birmingham bowl deceived and unsure of who will even coach. Pitt’s been a teetering mess ever since it left its on-campus stadium for Heinz Field in 2001.

  5. Russ

    Yeah, he really dicked over Rice when he was here. Saying one thing, doing another (while in the bathroom, no less).

  6. Dog in Fla

    Arizona State forgot to check with The Rice MOB about the Todd Graham 10th Circle of Hell half-time show:

    Demon:”Todd Graham?! That oaf knows better than to hope for the sweet release of my ninth circle.”

    Announcer:”We thought him scum, to be sure, but did he deserve an eternity beyond Hell’s greatest depths?”

    Demon:”If you wish to see his fate… come.”

    Announcer:”A twisted path led down to a door, blackened by flame, inscribed with three frightful words: Welcome. To. Tulsa.”

    Music: Louie, Louie


    Announcer: “You know, that reminds me of a joke: A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. Now, I forgot how the rest of it went, but I think in the end Todd Graham is a douchebag.”

  7. Hogbody Spradlin

    A Hooker? Only in the sense that this guy screws everyone he comes into contact with. But you’re too kind. If half the stuff in that post is true, Todd Graham makes Lane Kiffin look honest.

  8. Spike

    We should have an official GTP douche off.

    • Puffdawg

      This. With brackets AND voting a winner. The best of both worlds!!! A few suggestions: Kiffin, this Graham feller, Corch, Tebow, OBC, Garcia, Petrino, Saban, Fulmer, Emmert, Slive, Delaney, Adam Krohn, Stingtalk, Paul Johnson, Paul’s Johnson, Trooper Taylor, Cam Newton’s dad, Mark Shurtleff, Joe Barton, Penn Wagers, Rogers Redding, Gene Chizik, Craig James, Adam James, Mark May, Lou Holtz, Lee Corso, Kirk Herbsteit, Jim Tressel, Austin Hardin , Chris Rainey, Stewart Mandel, Dennis Dodd, Michael Adams, ACCPD, Will Muschamp, Kirby Smart, Jerry Sandusky, Joe Paterno, Sue Paterno, Mike McQueary, the rest of the Penn St administration whose names I don’t feel like looking up, Nevin Shapiro, Logan Young, Harvey Updyke, Pat Dye, Jimmy Rane, Bobby Lowder, and James Franklin to name a few. 😉

      • Faulkner

        That’s a solid list. Good work.

      • AusDawg85

        Brilliant. OBC would have to win my bracket, but this could be great fun!

      • Puffdawg

        Corrine Brown, Dan Wetzel, Orrin Hatch, Matt Sanderson, Schultz and Bradley (how did I leave them off!!!!), 790 The Zone, Pawl Finebaum, Desmond Howard, Robert Smith, ESPN ombudsman, Casey Clausen, RIck Clausen, Jimmy Clausen, Father Clausen, Mother Clausen, Grandfather Clausen, Grandmother Cluasen, Uncle Clausen, Aunt Clausen, Cousin Clausen, Brian Kelly, Beano Cook, anybody wearing jorts and a jersey, Steve Tanneyhill, Brandon Spikes, Gus Malzahn’s wife, Gus Malzahn, Maurice Clarett, Ray Lewis, Mitch Mustain, Mitch Mustain’s mom, Houston Nutt’s cellphone, recruiting services, June Jones, Colt Brennan, Craig Thompson, and Willie Lyles. Are we at 68 yet?

        • Puffdawg

          Wow, 88. I guess this tournament will need to expand.😉

        • Puffdawg

          12 more to make an even 100: electrical closet, Edward Rife, Jerramy Stevens, Big Game Bob Stoops, Lanny Davis, Terry Bowden, Russ Mitchell, John Junker, Obama, the Oregon Duck mascot, this guy, and our old friend Charlie Weis.

          • AusDawg85

            Keep going. Need 128 for a super-bracket, or you’ll need some type of qualifier “douche-in” to cut the field to 64 for d-bag v. d-bag competition.

            Maybe post the 100 for initial votes…top 64 douche-off!

    • 81Dog

      great idea. You could award the winner the Craig James Trophy. Or, you could just declare Craig James the winner right now.

  9. W Cobb Dawg

    I have family in the Phoenix area. From what they tell me, Graham will fit in just fine with the ASU administration.

  10. Mayor of Dawgtown

    What a shame. ASU is potentially one of the best coaching situations on the west coast. But the ADs keep screwing up the hires and then when the coaches don’t appear to be working out as well as is desired quicly enough, firing them prematurely. What is going on at ASU is a template for how NOT to run a football program. A once proud program has become a revolving door for coaches. Sooner or later it will catch up to the Sun Devils and the program will become a loser winning 2-4 games per year. Hiring this Graham character seems like a sure way to get to that.

  11. Almost sounds like an April Fools joke on the DAWG fans.

  12. Spike

    Way to get us started, Puffdawg!!

  13. sax5084

    Thanks for the shoutout to Corndog Country (the hooker with a whistle link). You should know, that article is fake, but the portion you quoted is actually true. I just used the absurd douchey stuff Graham actually did to support fake douchey stuff that never happened.