First down, Perry!

Last night, Rick Perry touched the hem of the GPOOE™’s garment and we’re all the richer for it.

You know at least half the folks sharing the stage with him were mentally kicking themselves for not having gone there first.

I only hope that if Perry somehow finds himself anointed, er… selected as the GOP candidate to run next year for President – proof that we indeed live in an age of miracles, friends – he goes all in at the first debate with Obama, comes out sporting a #15 jersey and eye black with Bible verses and then starts Tebowing every time he manages to get through a debate exchange without stumbling.

With that, Corch will have no choice but to declare Rick Perry the Greatest Politician Of Our Era.


Filed under Political Wankery, Tim Tebow: Rock Star

42 responses to “First down, Perry!

  1. dean

    He needs to brush up on his football lingo a little bit. “Throwing mechanism” ?

  2. TennesseeDawg

    If he goes to the Philippines to circumcise young boys then we know we have the greatest politician of our era.

  3. Hogbody Spradlin

    Oh Gag a Maggot!

    Tebow I’ve learned to live with. Politicians, oy!

  4. Nate

    By contrast, Michelle Bachman channeled Reggie Ball. Hey-oo!

  5. X-Dawg

    If he loses the primary, he will give a tearful speech afterwards saying that he won’t let anything like that happen again. This speech will be so inspirational that the words will be engraved on a plaque and placed in the entranceway of Hall of Presidents at Walt Disney World…… or something like that.

    • The Lone Stranger

      You’ve got it about right, I think, these suits are all like characters propped up with fictional respect they assume is owed them. A lot of the ol’ USA seems so glossed over in artifice & fake juice.

      • Cojones

        Except for Ron Paul who is straightforward such that no Republican voter will understand him. And no Dem will vote for him. His admonishment about attacking the Judiciary and destroying the balance of government was lost on this bunch of charlatans and the voters they are currying. Huntsman was like a voice crying TO the wilderness in explaining why you have to deal diplomatically with other govts, including China. It’s a scary bunch.

  6. Go Dawgs!

    That’s right, Texas. Your Governor just cited a Florida quarterback who now plays for Denver as his role model. Let that sit for a few minutes.

  7. Mike

    Tim was clearly the Greatest Player of Our Era in college football. But his detractors (yes, I am looking at many groups of people, including you, Georgia fans) assuaged themselves that at least he would be a bust in the NFL.

    Well, to mix catchy slogans from two different TV offerings, “Not so fast, dog breath.”

    • Go Dawgs!

      Well, Mike, as many people pointed out during Georgia’s run to the division championship this year… it ain’t like he’s been playing the Packers and the Patriots.

      I personally still think he’ll wash out. Tip of the cap to the Denver defense for keeping them close!

      • Go Dawgs!

        PS: If we’re talking about the greatest player of our era, I think it’s pretty clear that Tim Tebow couldn’t carry Cam Newton’s jock. Just sayin’.

        • Mike

          You mean except for the whole Heisman Trophy and multiple SEC Championships and multiple National Championships Tebow won while at Florida?

          • Go Dawgs!

            Tebow and Cam have the same number of national titles as starters (oops… Cam has the other one at the juco level). Cam also won a Heisman Trophy, and I assume he’s got it hidden if the NCAA ever comes calling.

            Cam Newton is the superior athlete.

      • Mike

        Every professional team Tebow has played have been full of..wait for it…professional football players. IOW, even the worst pro-teams and better than the best college teams. And Tebow has succeeded against both. One only need to look at the stats of Elway compared to Tebow in the same time period of their careers to see how well Tebow has succeeded.

        Like I said, haters gonna hate. And usually the haters are fans of the teams that Tebow obliterated in college. Time out anyone?

        • Go Dawgs!

          Hey, Tebow was a great college player and he’s a great athlete. Greatest of our era? I don’t agree. Most decorated? Almost certainly.

          By the way, Mike, get used to this feeling of defending past athletes and past accomplishments. That’s what life as a Gator is going to be for a good long while.

    • Turd Ferguson

      Mike, you’re confusing “having ESPN ride your jock” with “not being a bust.” If you actually think Denver can keep this up, you’re only fooling yourself. This is Tebow’s 15 minutes of NFL fame. I sincerely hope he enjoys it. He’ll be a full-time minister by 2013.

      By the way, how’d that head-to-head between Tebow and Stafford (in Denver, I might add) go? As I recall, one looked like a real QB, and the other looked like a lost child.

      • Walter Sobchack

        “…like a child that wanders into a movie … he’s out of his element”

      • Mike

        😆 at comparing Detroit with Denver. And I seem to remember that Tebow did quite well against a Stafford led UGA team. Time out anyone?

        • Go Dawgs!

          I actually disagree with Turd on the point that Tebow’s going to be out of the league. He’s always said that he wants his shot at quarterback, and if it doesn’t pan out that he’ll switch positions. I respect him for that. If the option experiment doesn’t pan out beyond the current pan flash, then I think he’ll be very successful elsewhere on the field, and as a locker room leader. I respect the Tebow, I just don’t worship him as ESPN and Gators do.

        • Turd Ferguson

          Last I checked, their defenses are ranked within 3 spots of each other; they’ve both still got mediocre-to-terrible OLs; and much of what Detroit has in young talent Denver makes up for with experience (especially on defense). Detroit certainly has a better receiving corps, but then, they’d love to have one of Denver’s RBs (when healthy, that is).

          But really, it comes down to this: Who do you think Denver would rather have as their QB for the next several years: a flipper-armed FB still living off his accomplishments in college, or someone with Stafford’s skill set? How often do you think Elway daydreams about what it’d be like to be able to get Andrew Luck?

          I always maintained that Tebow was a better college QB (especially with a system like Meyer’s), but Stafford was clearly the better pro QB prospect. And so far, I’ve seen nothing to make me re-think that.

        • Will (the other one)

          I seem to remember when they were both starters Tebow only won half of those “head-to-head” meetings.

    • Will (the other one)

      I didn’t realize that Tebow played on Defense and special teams as “Von Miller” and “Luke Praeter”. That’s amazing for him.

  8. 81Dog

    If Rick Perry is the Tebow of this political season, does that mean our current president is the Quincy Carter of this political season? Joe Biden would be the guy who just got canned at Coastal Carolina; I can totally see him giving that off the cuff monologue on cats and dogs.

    • I say that Obama is more akind to Ryan Leaf, a total fraud with all kinds of “potential”, just reality set in and proved he’s got mental issues.

      • Dog in Fla

        Notwithstanding that, he’s still the smartest guy in the room

        “McRaven speaks respectfully of Bush as Commander in Chief, saying he “made some very, very tough decisions.” About Obama, without a question to prompt him, he waxes lyrical and at length. The planning and decision making for the bin Laden raid, he volunteers, “was really everything the American public would expect from their national leadership.”

        “The President was at all times presidential,” he says. “I would contend he was the smartest guy in the room. He had leadership skills we’d expect from a guy who had 35 years in the military.” The sentiments appear to be mutual, for McRaven and his special-operations units.”,28804,2101745_2102133_2102330-4,00.html

  9. Gravidy

    Unfortunaltely for you, Good Senator, it seems very likely that Obama will be facing a much more polished debater than Perry. But, then again, who ISN’T a much more polished debater than Perry? 🙂

  10. The General

    I don’t hate on Tebow. I put him in the same category as Les Miles. From outward appearances, they appear to have fatal flaws, but you can’t argue with their results. Maybe there isn’t a comeuppance on the way for either one. What I do hate on is people who deify Tebow. Perry just jumped to the top of that steaming pile, even above of the WWL. That audible groan from the Iowa crowd gives me some hope for humanity.

  11. Pingback: Maybe The SEC Isn’t As Great As We Thought « The Grit Tree

  12. Dog in Fla

    At least Rick remembered one of the three things he was supposed to talk about

    • Cojones

      Saw from a post yesterday(?) that the clergy in Denver were using Teboe in their sermans (giving God the credit) including Jewish and Muslim religious leaders. Everyone from a differing perspective , but all positive and supportive of the same God. Have to admit I’m becoming a grudging admirer of his exploits, not for his football skills so much as sticking to it through thick and thin, remaining humble and for giving his D and O line credit for his success. When the opposition has been as helpful as they have been, there is a mystique that you have to admit draws you in. The Pats will be a good test of the mystique, but no matter the outcome, one has to wonder like the lawyer in “Miracle on 34th Street” looking at the Macy’s Santa’s cane left in the corner of the new house.

      Tis the season for a miracle and what would be more appropos than a rookie pro having it his way, in a sport that has become increasingly cynical and violent, spreading peace and goodwill at this time of year. Have to admit it has caused a resurgence in pro football popularity when and where college football reigns supreme.

      • DarrrenRovelll

        For all of the media attention that he receives about his religion and success, there are many who contend that he is not even the most devout player in the NFL – that honor is bestowed on Troy Polamalu.

        Heck – he may not even be the most religious winning QB – apparently Aaron Rodgers is pretty serious about religious beliefs and he is the best QB on the planet right now.

  13. Dog in Fla

    “Tis the season for a miracle”

    Tim’s no Snake Stabler but other than him beating us, doing that gatorchomp shit on the sidelines, coming up with the pledge, and being an unlicensed moyel, I never had any problem with him

    When the uninsured need a trim, they should just go to church