The latest “I saw it on the Internet, so it must be true” rumor about who’s taking the Penn State job has to be read to be believed.
Filed under Nick Saban Rules
That guy makes Mark Bradley look like a real journalist.
Exactly. Talk about mailing it in. Take a post from a the comments and make it your next story? Wow, where can I sign up for that “job”?
why not? people never lie and pretend to be other people on the internet!
also, come on.. his “family donated $$,$$$,$$$ this year” !!!
“Who else would Penn State wait this long for?”. Hahah silly goose.
This seems plausible. I heard the re-animated corpse of Generalissimo Francisco Franco is also a candidate.
Some time since the 80’s, in a period Bama was wandering in the wilderness, there was a song titled “Dig Him Up” that got good play.
On a related note, Joe Paterno hasn’t been too far from El Cid for a few years.
I’m sorry, but Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.
I think the funniest comment was from PennStater03 about Nike paying part of Saban’s salary: “Would love it. I don’t understand the Nike part because Saban already wears Nike.”
“I’m sorry, but Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead. ”
Damn. A guy can hope, I guess.
Ole Saban is just trying to duck the Dawgs and CMR. He knows he caught a break this season and doesnt want to push his luck.
Sweet. Penn St didn’t win the Big 10/11/12 this year either, but with Saban now as their coach, perhaps they can still qualify for the MNC anyway! I can totally see this scenerio unfolding. This is totally legit. Totally.
The Nits are desperately trying to suppress their creeping realization that the big-name HC that will take their job and make everyone forget about this year’s events does not exist. Their vacancy is FAR from a desirable one and NO amount of money can make it into anything else.
ISSUE: Need to write new piece on Penn State coaching search.
METHODOLOGY: Identify name of coach currently succeeding in college football. Identify supporting evidence that this coach is aware of the existence of Penn State University. If possible, find picture of this coach with Joe Paterno.
SOLUTION: Nick Saban.
PRE-PLANNING: Tomorrow, Les Miles!
I know that PennLive is just a glorified blog, but is this jackass really sourcing random internet commenters and trying to pass it off as news? And did this random internet commenter really try to claim that Saban never wanted to leave MICHIGAN STATE? Uh, it’s not like anyone held a gun to his head and made him leave, chief. And as supporting evidence for his theory that Saban never wanted to leave, the best he could do was the fact that he had friends there? Jesus. Also, what in the hell does that have to do with him going to Penn State? If he was so freaking happy at Michigan State, wouldn’t he want to just… go back there? Being in the same conference doesn’t really put him all that much closer to his buddies in East Lansing than he is now in Tuscaloosa. Does this guy not realize that when a coach comes to town for a football game he’s not going to ice cream socials the night before? I swear… the internet is simultaneously the best and worst thing to happen to sports.
I think you’re taking the commenter too literally. Notice his handle. Probably some Ohio St fan. The joke is on the Penn Live author.
Makes you think he got his moniker from a popular pirate movie…hmmmm….wonder which one?
I love the internet. Not just for crazy rumors like these, but also because I had no idea Dantonio worked under Saban until I saw his name mentioned in the link, which then prompted me to Google him . . . come to find out he played DB in the late 70s for, wait for it . . . the Gamecocks! I also wasn’t aware that he was the DC when Ohio St. won the 2002 nat’l title.
I knew the last thing, though the tie to Saban makes the move to Michigan State more understandable.
He’s a good one. I hope they get him.
If Penn State hires Saban, we’ll just snatch Richt.
Next thing you know, I’ll have my own story on pennlive.com.
Well played, BD. 🙂
Although to be honest, when has Saban shown himself to be anything other than a mercenary? If Penn St offered up $10m per, or Texas offers a similar price, would Bama be able to match? Maybe Texas offers a 10 yr, $100m deal to steal him away. They can afford it.
Besides, Saban has been at Bama about as long as he’s ever stayed anywhere in his coaching career. It’s about time for a move. I can’t see Penn St coming up with that money, although maybe they’ve invested wisely the millions they’ve saved not paying Paterno market rates. But Texas definitely has the dollars to potentially trump the Tahd in a bidding war.
I think you’re missing the point.
Nah, I got it. The author is posting random insane message board comments as a sourced journalism article.
Perhaps you are missing mine, that Saban is a proven merc to the highest bidder, and there is a chance someone (primarily Texas) will back the Brinks truck up to his Lake Rabun home. If Texas offers said 10 yr, $100m deal, could Bama match?
Wow! This is as unique a piece of news as the blogger. Saban being susceptible to the highest bidder. Who would have thunk it? Hell, I heard he was headed for Oman. They have all the money in the world to buy a team and get Saban because he has nil will power. Wow!
While we’re being ridiculous, I’ll note that he took a paycut to leave the Dolphins. So your assertion that he’s a “proven merc” (hope you enjoyed the few seconds you saved by using that odd abbreviation) is a little weak.
Whenever I think of ‘proven mercs,’ Academi– previously known as Xe Services LLC, Blackwater USA and Blackwater Worldwide – and Nick are the first two things that come to mind. At least Nick knows how to have fun
Saban being a “proven merc” was not relevant to Bluto’s post. I don’t know what Texas backing up a Brinks truck to Saban’s lake house has to do with the absurdity of a newspaper’s blog publishing an article based on an anonymous comment thread, espcecially one so outlandish and lacking any substantiation whatsoever. Suggesting the viability of Saban actually going to Penn St in response to the linked article, despite the logic behind it, kind of makes the GTP community look stupid, for lack of a better word.
The point you’re missing Puff, is if Penn State had the funding and willingness to pay him a ridiculous sum, say $10m, he’d probably go. But they don’t, and he won’t.
And if horses had wings and a horn they’d be unicorns. I am not disagreeing with your point, nor am I missing it. I’m suggesting the point you are trying to establish lends credibilty to to asurd article Bluto originally linked. Bluto wasn’t trying to debate whether or not Saban would go to Penn St, regardless of the offer. His point was to show how absurd it was of a newspaper to publish news based on an anonymous comment on the internet.
A Pegacorn or a Unisus? 😉
As to your hypothetical, based on Bama’s +$40M net in 2010, yes I think Bama could and would increase Saban’s pay by $5m per year to match Texas, especially considering the drastic marginal improvement in net income the athletic department has seen since Saban’s arrival. It would be a good investment.
OK Bryant, but ya gotta milk it further. Who we gonna get?
Kirby Smart, obviously.
Will Muschamp Returns “Home”
You gotta go big – Mack Brown (extension be darned) or Les Miles, and you gotta throw in an NFL name. Let’s go with Sean Payton. I think he drove through Athens once.
You proved to be up for the challenge, BD.
Well said bd
HOT DAMN! We’re getting Sean Payton!
I thought it was Walter Payton…no, wait…he’s…never mind.
Samuel L. Jackson
To the credit of the commentors on the site, they were blasting this guy. If it were a Gamecock site the faithful would find it completely plausible and would claim sightings of Nick at the local Pizza Hut.
No, it’s always a sighting of the coach’s wife looking for a house on Lake Murray, or the fact that a Masters membership will be thrown in as part of the deal.
Pizza Hut? In Columbia? Man, movin’ on up…
Saban couold coach Bama 4 days a week and Penn State 1 day and call plays over the phone to Penn State during games and they would still have an 89% chance of winning the big 10. Just ask ESPN.
He would not need to recruit extra players, the ones that are not SEC quality that he cuts from Bama could still play for him at Penn State. Penn State could claim that Bama is thier farm system and Bama could claim that Penn State is the dumpster of the north.
I see a win/win here.
I heard the Penn State genetics department is in the final phase of creating a human clone combining the DNA of Knute Rockne, Bear Bryant and Vince Lombardi to be their next head coach.
Why else would Penn State be waiting this long to announce ? Uhh, maybe because nobody wants the most toxic job in all of sports ? Not for all the money in the world.
The human clone will also possess the moral dignity of Joe Paterno, the chutzpah of Jerry Sandusky, the poker face of Graham Spanier and the loyalty of Tim Curley, as well as the punctiliousness of Mike McQueary and the age defying youth of Peter Pan.
That’s funny stuff Puffdawg.
…Not so funny for the poor kids let down by those supposed adults. sorry. had to acknowledge it.
Totally agree. My intent was to mock the Pen St community who still seems to support JoePa. That really pissed me off. Not sure why he got such a pass with their fans.
Penn State would be better off just leaving the current temp staff in place and waiting for the fallout. In ten years maybe they can find someone good and rebuild, but for the foreseeable future they’re screwed.
“…but for the foreseeable future they’re screwed those sick enabling ostrich fucks are completely and utterly beyond the shadow of a doubt fucked, and deservedly so.”
There, I fixed it for ya.
I was trying to keep it clean, but yeah.
While I think the article is BS, nevertheless I do not dismiss the possibility of Saban going to Penn State. Saban has a track record of only staying at any one job 5 years or less. This was his 5th season in Tuscaloosa. Saban is a yankee. I don’t care how successful he has been he does not fill the Bear Bryant mold. Sooner or later he will have a season where things don’t match up right (several key players go pro early from the same position, etc.) and the Tide fans will turn on him. He is smart enough to know that. I, myself, have relatives in the august state of Alabama and I can bear witness that after a while the no teeth aspect can get to you no matter how patient, kind and understanding you are. I do not see much of any of those 3 qualities in Saban. By now he has got to be getting sick and tired of those morons. He can get back up north and be hailed as the savior of a storied program by taking the Penn State job. Also, he will be able to dodge LSU every year and (dare I say it) Georgia, which is 5-1 against Bama during the Richt era. Those redneck Bammers are so full of their own sh!t that they never can understand why coaches flee Tuscaloosa (there have been several since Bear Bryant who did) but it makes a lot of sense to get out while the getting is good. Saban is going to be gone, sooner or later. I’m betting sooner. The longer Penn State waits to announce the more likely it is that they are waiting for Saban to complete his bowl game. Saban–that’s who they are after. Whether they get him ………?
Penn State is poison though. I could see him bolting, but not for this job.
Hasn’t it occurred to anyone that the fans/nonprofessional journalists are keeping big names out there in order to hold onto their recruits? “Don’t leave us because this guy may be your coach.” When you are sucking hind tit, create another one.
5-1, huh? If you’re going to just make something up, why not say 10-1?
Excuse me. A typo. It’s 3-1. My mistake. Thank you for pointing it out.
Penn State’s fans and journalists are delusional. I started following Cory Giger (@CoryGiger) of the Altoona Mirror to get updates on the Sandusky stuff. Now he throws out a few tweets each day about the PSU job.
Yesterday he believed that Munchak was actually considering the PSU job. WTF are these guys smoking? A guy that has been with the Oilers/Titans organization for 30 years and is currently the head coach would leave for the PSU job?
Don’t get me wrong, I can understand they have a huge emotional investment in PSU. It will be a good job again after this scandal is a few years removed. If they seriously think they are going to go out and get a Munchak, Saban, Richt, or (insert great college coach or NFL coach here), then they are insane.
They will hire some second rate coach from the NFL or second tier coach from the FBS. After a few lackluster years, he will be fired and a decent coach can be hired.
BTW, anyone else notice how Ohio State is benefiting from this scandal? Recruits seem to be jumping the PSU ship to OSU.
While I do not disagree with your assessment, the way out for PSU is to get a Nick Saban at all costs.That is the ONLY way for them to avoid the coaching scenario you described above. Remember, they still have some pretty good players there already. Nick Saban or a like coach stems the hemorrhage of recruits and likely leads the way out of the wilderness almost Immediately. All the bad actors (Paterno, Sandusky, the AD and Asst ADs, the President of the university) will have been purged and the pristine “savior” is then there to take over. Otherwise it’s gonna be hard cheese in Unhappy Valley for quite a while.
And just using the big named coaches will insure a hesitation before recruits try to jump ship. They just want to hold them for a little over a month. After that, they can look for a viable candidate. Don’t worry, they will bleed every name for the deniability up until signing day. They have a worse disaster headed their way. No college football team for as long as anyone can see into the future. I’m surprised the alums haven’t offered up their attractant daughters yet.
Doesn’t seem to be helping them with the recruits.
You guys seriously think that PSU needs to drop $5million/year on a football coach? Werent they paying JoePa like $500k/year? plus the 70’s ranch he lives in?
So to save face after their football program covered up a rape they are going to go “all-in” with buying a new football coach? Does that really send the right message?
No way PSU breaks the bank on this next hire. And no way anyone worth a damn takes that job regardless of how much money they throw out them.
Everything that PSU and whatever idiot they trick into taking that job does over the next 2 years is going to come back to the child abuse.
Idiot? Huh? Did somebody call me?
“Send the right message”? That ship has sailed. If they could, which they can’t, they need to hire the next Bear Bryant/Saban/Belichick. The only way to get past this is for the football team to win. That’s the only thing people care about (see JoPa rally) and if it cost them $10 million a year…they should pay it. Be stupid not too. And that wouldn’t come close to breaking their bank. Spin the hell out of it. Rising from the ashes. For the school. For the team. But he has to be huge, not some average coach. Otherwise it will backfire. But this won’t happen. The next guy will be a sacrificial lamb.
PSU should hire the Pope to guide them through this scandal. He certainly has the experience with dealing with such a sick problem in his program and knows how to clean ….wait. Never mind.
The Pope is excellent in the people-helping business but even he knows it’s too soon to try to Occupy Happy Valley
In fairness, neither PSU nor its fanbase know anything about hiring coaches in the era of color television. Inexperience + angst + money + perceived slights = the daily serving of nonsense (with seconds!) out of the PSU coaching search.
“... Shoot, why does anybody who’s ever won something do it again? Because it’s cool. So, let’s go do it again. Let’s see if we’ve got what it takes.” -- Stetson Bennett, The Athletic, 3/22/22
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