The things a man will do for $850K/year.

First day on the job and no orange? (Todd Van Emst photo)

So, VanGorder’s getting Kirby Smart money at Auburn.  (Just wait ’til Todd Grantham’s agent gets wind of that.)

That kind of money will make a man say all kind of crazy things.

“I think Auburn has a lot of great things to present to a young man,” he said. “I look forward to being honest and up front about the opportunity that a young man has here at Auburn and what we think we can do in terms of their development.”

I keed, I keed, Tigers fans.  But seriously, this?

It’s been awhile since Brian VanGorder recruited around the SEC, but that doesn’t mean Auburn’s new defensive coordinator is out of touch.

Indeed, says he’ll be wiser when he begins to visit recruits in their homes Friday.

That would definitely be a new leaf turned.

Not really sure any of that matters much.  He’s not being paid a bunch more than Roof to be all warm and fuzzy with recruits’ mommas anyway.

60 Comments

Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands

60 responses to “The things a man will do for $850K/year.

  1. ChicagoDawg

    With that coif and ‘stache dude is clearly rocking’ some serious 70s porn-star chic.

  2. Go Dawgs!

    $850K? That’ll buy a LOT of V05.

  3. Dog in Fla

    Brian will also be a spokesman for http://www.pornstache.com/
    where you can always Get Your Pornstache On! to have a distinct schematic advantage and where Insufficient Pornstache is never a problem

    • ChicagoDawg

      I am envisioning his rockin’ orange bell bottoms (to move ahead in the arms race w/ SOD), a blue and white satin dress shirt (with only the bottom 3 buttons used), a gold rope chain w/ ramhorn charm and of course platform shoes. This ensemble coupled with Tropper’s frenetic towel waving should make for an interesting sidelines on the Plains the fall.

      • Dog in Fla

        That’s an awesome vision. You could even add the ghost of Bob Crane dancing to a medley of MC Hammer tunes on the sideline of the loveliest Village on the Plains

  4. Mayor of Dawgtown

    Everybody’s making jokes here but there is no way that this is a good development for the University of Georgia. BRING BACK TED ROOF!!!!!

    • Skeptic Dawg

      I agree! This is nothing but bad news for the Dawgs. Think BVG wants to beat his form team into submission? Someone has already said this, but…Who wins the battle between Bobo and BVG? I know where I am putting my money.

      • Go Dawgs!

        Grantham.

      • Mayor of Dawgtown

        I’m sorry but someone needs to say it. Bobo is a good QB coach but OC? No way. End of game epic fails for the past 2 season ought to be enough proof. If UGA is going to take the next step and contend again with Bama, LSU and, yes, Arkansas (which now has by-passed the Dawgs in the SEC) we need an upgrade at OC. Steal one from the NFL like we did with Grantham as DC.

        • Skeptic Dawg

          I agree, but CMR will not get rid of Bobo. And I have bought into the “Bobo is calling Richt’s plays” idea. I do believe someone else is capable of mixing up those calls to tad to produce a more effective offense. However, this pro style offense is rendered useless without an O-line.

    • converted1981

      Don’t believe he will be on the plains to long, to many HC Vacancies coming up next year. dd in knox will be run out of town faster than slime ball slipped out. The Visor will be looking to retire with ncaa sanctions coming his way and lattimore being gone….. BVG is just there for a short while and probably already telling future recruits to hold off and follow me… LOL. Cheezy will be havin to replace another dc next year.

  5. William

    Senator, you should have opened this up for this crazy lot to add captions. I mean, come on! Look at him. I can hear the interal monologue right now…..”Well $h!t, never saw this coming. Oh well, suck it up and face the redneck revolution”

  6. Spike

    The dude can coach.

    • ChicagoDawg

      What does coaching ability have to do with anything? This thread has gone down a different road entirely. This is all about AU hiring an extra from the movie set of Boogie Nights as their new DC.

    • Scorpio Jones, III

      Yessir, right up there with Erk, Chief and Nick Saban.

      A legend in his own Brlycream.

      Think he will last a year in Awbun?

    • converted1981

      With that hair he better be more worried about the couch…

  7. JDawg

    Man, that hair is jet black. Get a grip on the hair dye dude.

  8. Alphadawg

    “I like those college girls, I keep getting older and they stay the same age”

  9. Alphadawg

    He looks like James Edward Olmos, circa his Miami Vice days.

  10. heyberto

    Curious if he’ll be able to jump back into the college game where he left off. The game has changed and from what i can tell he didn’t exactly set the pro world on fire. I admit though, it’s not a bad choice on paper for Auburn. I’m certainly going to be looking at that game a lot differently.

  11. Skeeter

    Channeling his inner Muschamp: “Truth is I just landed at Georgia. I never wanted to coach at Georgia, that’s just who offered. My first choice was Florida, errr, Auburn…”

  12. By Georgia We Did It

    What did BVG make with the Falcons?

  13. UGLYDAWG

    Off the subject, but I did notice the Cabela’s ad. Nicely played Senator!

    • Zdawg

      The magic of google ads Ugly…they know your every step.

      Hey look! an add for $5 off Tanqueray!! Later!

    • hassan

      The ads you see are uniquely tailored to your interested based on your browsing history that is captured by your cookies. If you see a Cabela’s ad, it is safe to say that you frequent sites that contain an outdoors or sportsman theme. As an example, if Willie Martinez were to sign on, he would see Monster.com. And of course, BVG sees prophylactics and lubricants.

  14. GruntDawg

    Delete your cookies daily and it severly limits Big Brother from knowing your surfing habits

  15. Bulldog Joe

    “I think Auburn has a lot of great things to present to a young man,” he said.

    Translated: “What will it take for your son to come here? A ‘No interest/No principal’ BB&T mortgage? A ‘donation’ to your business or church? A few pulls at our special ATMs slot machines in Shorter? Or just straight up hush money cash assistance from the Chette Williams ‘ministries’?”

    “I look forward to being honest and up front about the opportunity that a young man has here at Auburn and what we think we can do in terms of their development.”

    Translated: “If you can maintain your spot on the two-deep for four years, you can enjoy all the privileges of being an honored member of the Auburn family.” “You can focus completely on developing your football skills with no outside distractions such as taking tests, going to class, going to the NFL, handling financial obligations, or doing time for your transgressions.” “We will be ‘All-In’ for you here at The University of Auburn University.”

    • WarD Eagle

      Rodney Garner knows why UGA got that great class last year.

      • Cool story, bro. Project much?

        • Chopper Reid

          Auburn fans need to HTFU…bad. Talk talk talk talk talk…then when it is their turn to hear it they cry.

          War Damn Vagina!

      • William

        Wow, such thin skin. We all realize we live in glass houses man, so chill out. Besides, I don’t know if Garner is smart enough to know he can funnel the money through chruches. If any Colege in the SEC was going to corner the market in that, you’d think it would be Richt’s team!

  16. ‘So simple, even a caveman could do it’.

  17. PatinDC

    I have to say he must not have taken the job for the money. Malzon made $1 mill. plus a year , so the money is there. Daddy Kiffen made $1 mill plus at UT coming from the NFL as a DC, so the precedence is there.
    Hmmmm.