I don’t think I’ve ever done these on back-to-back days, but it’s hard to resist low-hanging fruit like this:
I have no doubt that any words you’d care to put in Dr. Lou’s mouth would be infinitely more interesting than whatever he actually had to say.
Get The Picture 
Notre Dame WILL win the NC this year, you heard it here first.
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I don’t know what words to put in senescent Lou’s mouth, but that Augusta National cap is being defiled two ways.
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+1.
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Boyths, thy hoth thapt thamera izf wather-poofth!
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DR Lou, speaking to reporters before performing the worlds first lip to sabanrectum fusion surgery.
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I was just standing around with my hands in my pockets after setting up the tables for the Coaches Conference dinner in the gym. We have three other guys in the janitor’s group who look more like Holtz than I do.
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If that’s a gym, why is there a goalpost behind him?
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I AM a penis
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that’s penith.
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I guarantee William & Mary, NC State, Arkansas, Notre Dame and South Carolina will win all their games and beat the spread.
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I knew they’d slap a Masters logo on just about anything, but condoms??
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Men, let me tell you something. The Alabama University Crimson Tigers are one heckuva football team. That kid at quarterback, BJ McCormick, is one heckuva ballplayer. They’ll beat every team they play by at least 20 points until they play the University of Notre Dame in the title game.
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“Let me tell you men thith. Tiger Woodth WILL win here thith weekend.”
“Uhh, Lou…”
“Forget it. He’s rolling.”
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That’s not an official Masters hat. It’s a fake he got from the same street vendor that sold him the fake Braves jacket he’s also wearing.
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There is no accounting for taste.
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There’s a Scarlet Letter/Cheating at football joke in there somewhere that I cannot, for the life of me, seem to dig out.
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Lout Holtz speaks to a gang of ESPN reporters, as no one else gives a s&*t what he says
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