Admittedly, these would probably freak me out. But I’m thinking strategically locating some of them in the Level 600 bathrooms for the November 24th game with an appropriate message might be adequate payback for this.
Filed under Georgia Football, Georgia Tech Football, Science Marches Onward
Urinal Cake: Call a cab or get a ride with a friend if you feel unable to drive.
Urinator: GAH! What the…?
UC: You don’t want to kill again, do you?
U: …What are you talking about?
UC: Don’t bullshit a bullshitter, John. We both know what I’m talking about. Little Dorothy?
John: How do you know my name? …Wait, how do you know about that?
UC: That’s not important. John, let’s focus on what IS important. That little girl’s dead because of you. Can you live with that?
John: It wasn’t my fault. I barely had anything to drink. Their car came out of nowhere.
UC: Who are you trying to convince, John?
John: No…I…[sobs] Oh God, I see her in my dreams every night. [breaks down wracked with tears]
UC: You can make the dreams go away, John.
John: [sniff] How?
UC: See the mirror?
UC: Break it.
UC: DO IT!
John: [breaks mirror, pieces shatter to the floor] N-now what?
UC: Pick up the long piece.
[John picks it up]
UC: You know what to do with it.
John: [holds point above wrist] Oh God….
Cut to news broadcast later that evening.
Anchor: Shocking news out of Ann Arbor, where a Michigan fan was found dead in a stadium bathroom in an apparent suicide.
Wow… I’ve got to stop drinking and going to urinals.
You’re probably safe. 99% of the urinal cakes probably aren’t evil. Probably.
So that’s what happened to Lloyd Carr…
I was thinking our cakes could get by with a simple “_ IAR,B!”…and a reminder to wash their hands.
“Playing quarterback for the University of Georgia is really special. It’s something you should really cherish.” — Jake Fromm, UGASports.com, 2/25/20
Subscribe in a reader