Sometimes, the jokes just write themselves.

This, my friends, is the ultimate “Nick Saban doesn’t have time for this shit” story.

In Jax, it’s not so much about playing well as it is just well enough.

Bill Connelly reviews the 1980 Georgia-Florida game (kiss my ass, Will Muschamp) and has this observation:

Wow, did Georgia play terribly in this game. With so much on the line, the Bulldogs just couldn’t hold onto the ball. There were fumbles, and quarterback Buck Belue took some less-than-calculated risks at times; Belue was 6-for-15 with two picks before the miracle touchdown. Georgia began to clam up as Florida erased an early lead, and as a result, a freshman named Herschel Walker almost became secondary to the game’s overall story line despite 37 carries, 238 yards, and a 72-yard touchdown run on the fourth play of the game. He continued to churn out the yards, but mistakes ended drive after drive prematurely.

Georgia played poorly, but pulled the game out:  when things are right with the universe, that’s how things are supposed to go against Florida.  That is how they used to go during the Dooley era.

And that’s how they went last year, too.

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The next big thing in enforcement

Holee Mother of Crapola… look what the Big Ten is contemplating.

The Big Ten is mulling a proposal that would give its commissioner, already one of the most powerful men in college sports, the authority to fire coaches himself, The Chronicle reports today.

The proposal, part of a plan being circulated among Big Ten leaders, would give James E. Delany, who has overseen the league since 1989, and a powerful committee of conference presidents the ability to penalize individual members of an institution, should their actions significantly harm the league’s reputation.

The sanctions, spelled out in a document obtained by The Chronicle, could include financial penalties, suspension, or termination of employment.

My, my, my.  Talk about your vote of confidence in Mark Emmert.  Wonder how long it takes for Mike Slive to start pushing something similar?

Interesting choice of words there, Coach.

Here’s something else the Hat laid on the assembled multitude in Hoover yesterday.

“They’ll really add to our conference,” Miles said. “The Aggies bring a very, very capable team, and (Texas) is a very lucrative recruiting area…”

“Lucrative recruiting area”? Oh hells, yeah.  Just ask Willie Lyles.

Guess who’s playing the “can’t get no respect” card?

Our neighbors to the south.

After muddling through a 7-6 season last year, Florida has been relegated to afterthought in the league, at least for now. And don’t think for one moment coach Will Muschamp isn’t hammering that point home to his team.

When the SEC coaches’ preseason votes were released last week, Florida’s lone first-team member was kicker Caleb Sturgis.

“I texted our team, ‘Congratulations to Caleb Sturgis, And the SEC coaches must not think much of the rest of you guys,’ ” Muschamp said Wednesday morning.

Gee, think this might have something to do with that?

… The Gators will have a new quarterback, and speedsters Jeff Demps and Chris Rainey also are gone. The leading returning receiver is tight end Jordan Reed. And the Gators weren’t an offensive juggernaut last season.

In five of its six losses, Florida scored 12 or fewer points. Quarterback John Brantley, Demps and Rainey were slowed by and missed games due to injury. The Gators were minus-12 in turnover margin and outscored 72-22 in the fourth quarters of their eight SEC games.

After two-plus decades of cockiness emanating from Gainesville, this just sounds weird to hear.

“Last year was real tough,” senior running back Mike Gillislee said. “We’ve all got a saying, not the coaches but the players, we’re all saying we’ve got to get Florida back to where they used to be. It used to be that Florida fans, people, expected us to be good. We have to get back to that, get this program back right.”

Florida minus the arrogance?  Florida trying to motivate itself by wanting respect?  Sounds like the Gator version of fake juice to me.  And I can’t help but wonder if this is going to wind up playing into the psychology of the Cocktail Party.

Les Miles does all the diligence due.

It’s nice that Zach Mettenberger sees his stint at LSU as the result from God’s plan.  Evidently the Almighty One didn’t require his new head coach to dig too deeply into what went into his old head coach’s decision to dismiss him from the Georgia program.

When you were recruiting Zach, did you by chance call Coach Rick(sic)? If so, what was the gist of some of those conversations? I certainly reviewed those guys that we recruit. I got the real view of the incidents and understand kind of what happened there, and recognize that certainly people make mistakes.

Translation:  I needed a quarterback.  Beyond that, if you don’t look too closely, you don’t have as much to worry about.

Envy and jealousy: chillaxin’ in January

Josh Moon has a funny piece about the playoff talk at SEC Media Days.  This quip is my favorite part:

Kentucky’s Joker Phillips was all for the new setup, as was Mississippi State’s Dan Mullen. They’ll each be hosting watching parties at their homes.

Boom!