Bernie Machen’s “ace jewel” caper

In today’s SEC, this is what passes for long-term planning.

Apparently there’s only one factor that would trigger expansion in the South, according to the SEC’s chairman of the board of directors.

Florida’s president, Bernie Machen, told CBSSports.com the league will eschew the 16-team superconference model unless “some ace jewel called us and said, ‘Can you help us?'”

“We haven’t had any calls like that,” Machen said. “We haven’t made any calls.”

So, yeah, when Notre Dame comes calling, Mike Slive will probably take the call.  Mighty big of him.

Here’s the curious part:

Machen maintains realignment is more media-driven than conferences hungry for change.

“It’s not that simple to assimilate two more teams into the league,” Machen said.

Is that meant to be blame of the media, or blame of Jim Delany for chasing TV markets to build the Big Ten Network’s viewership?  I can’t tell.  Either way, it hasn’t been that simple for the SEC to assimilate the last two teams into the league, Bernie my man.

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“We still want the game to be physical.”

Tony Barnhart picks up on a facet of the new penalties for hits to defenseless players that I hadn’t noticed before.

But they have also made additions to the list of who qualifies as a defenseless player:

…

• A quarterback any time after a change of possession.

That last one will catch the attention of SEC fans. In last December’s SEC Championship Game, Georgia quarterback Aaron Murray got his clock cleaned by Alabama’s Quinton Dialafter Murray had thrown an interception with about a minute left in the first half.

Georgia fans howled that it was a cheap shot to the head of their quarterback. Alabama fans said it was a clean hit and that the Georgia quarterback had become a defender. No penalty was called. The SEC reviewed the play and determined that no further action was warranted. Shaw did say, however, that Dial should have been penalized on the play but that the play didn’t rise to the level of an ejection.

But that was under the old rules. Regardless of which side you take on that particular play, the reality is that moving forward the rule has changed. A quarterback who throws an interception is by definition a defenseless player and any shot above the shoulders will be a penalty and a possible ejection. Players and coaches are going to have to adjust.

For me, that’s a day late and a penalty short.  But what’s really gonna get me is when I see this called against a Georgia player in a questionable setting.  By Penn Wagers.

PAWWWL, whut about the 8th amendment?

Harvey Updyke is made to pay for his crimes.

Harvey Updyke has pleaded guilty to poisoning Auburn’s famous Toomer’s Corner oak trees, reaching a deal with prosecution that will see him spend six months in jail and five years on supervised probation.

Updyke pleaded guilty to a charge of criminal damage of an agricultural facility, a Class-C felony in Alabama. In a statement announcing the plea deal, Lee County District Attorney Robbie Treese said, “We have a significant number of violent felonies awaiting trial in Lee County, and I could not in good conscience justify financing a three-week trial merely to arrive at no better a resolution.”

Updyke had previously pleaded not guilt by reason of mental disease or defect to charges of criminal mischief, desecration of a venerated object and unlawful damage to a crop facility charges. Other conditions of his plea deal include a 7 p.m. curfew, a ban from attending any collegiate sporting event, a ban from speaking to media, and a ban from setting foot on Auburn’s campus.  [Emphasis added.]

No Finebaum?  Forever?  Man, talk about your cruel and unusual punishment…