The sound closing a barn door makes after the horse is gone.

NCAA president Mark Emmert says NCAA is out of business of selling individual schools' jerseys and other memorabilia. Called it a "mistake"

— Mark Schlabach (@Mark_Schlabach) August 8, 2013

Not that the O’Bannon lawyers care particularly.

And here’s the punchline.

Emmert says they got no revenue from that site. Handling as a pass-through for schools. Going to crush them in court and they got jack. Ha.

— Andy Staples (@Andy_Staples) August 8, 2013

Man, the NCAA is something else.

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“This is definitely anonymous, right?”

ESPN The Magazine asked 92 current college football players a bunch of questions.  The results are fascinating.

For example, 63% of the players questioned don’t play for the same head coach who recruited them.  Now you know why you’ll never see a liberalized transfer rule for players if their head coach leaves the program.

That may also explain why Todd Graham led the voting for Last Coach You’d Ever Want To Play For.  (To be fair, Junior gave Graham a run for his money.)

You know what you smell like?

Evidently, “red-inspired top notes of cool ozone, chilled apple and frozen bergamot. Clean mid-notes of pear skin, and lavandin blend with frosted nutmeg, white birch and blue cypress musk notes”.  Who knew?

And before you ask, no, the Tennessee man doesn’t smell of chaw and despair.

I am surprised they didn’t try to incorporate the scent of Nick Saban’s funk into the Alabama men’s cologne, though.  It’s the smell of success!

“Coach Richt, Coach Johnson’s outside. He wants to know if he can borrow a couple of receivers.”

Reading this excellent David Ching article on the versatility of this year’s Georgia receiving corps, I couldn’t help but note the huge disparity in experienced production between the Georgia and Georgia Tech receivers.  While Georgia brings back six receivers who caught at least ten passes last season, the Jackets boast one starting receiver who returns with eight catches and another who doesn’t have a catch in college.  Their backups are redshirt freshmen.

And so, yeah, while I get the whole triple option mystique, grasshopper, a little known thing about Johnson’s offense is that his team is a heck of a lot more successful when the passing game is clicking than when it’s not.  Per Paul Myerberg, “Since the start of 2008 season, Tech is 23-5 when averaging at least 9.0 yards per attempt and 18-21 when averaging 8.9 or fewer yards per attempt.”

I know Vad Lee is awesome and all, but I question whether he’s awesome enough to overcome a group that’s lacking… well, calling them green might be a compliment.

Bonus question:  does Todd Gurley finish this season with more catches than Georgia Tech’s leading receiver?  (That question is not nearly so farfetched as you might think.)

This is why you leave amateurism to the professionals.

Bruce Feldman has a fascinating piece up about why memorabilia dealers may have it in for Johnny Football.  It seems they’re not real happy about the Manziels trying to cut themselves in for some of the sweet action.

“When his family filed to patent his name, ‘Johnny Football,’ all of us dealers, and I’m talking like 500 of us, had items on eBay related to Johnny Manziel,” Rudolph told CBSSports.com Wednesday. “They weren’t necessarily signed by him. I had Heisman programs from where he won the Heisman. So on that listing it would say, ‘Johnny Manziel, Johnny Football, Texas A&M Heisman Program.’ eBay swiped across the country and took all of those items down. All of ’em. And, in addition to that, they banned everyone who had done it for two weeks. No prior warning or nothing.

“I had 400 items up. I had six or eight related to Manziel and they pulled all of ’em. I called [eBay]. I said, ‘I’ve never had any trouble on eBay whatsoever.’ They said, ‘This is a legal thing and you violated a legal code so you’re suspended for two weeks.’ For me, I’m small time. That was an irritating thing because for two weeks, I couldn’t sell anything. I am quite sure for people whose livelihood are this business, that was crippling.

“If there’s anybody who has an ax to grind, pick any of those people.”

Meanwhile, there are schools like Ohio State and South Carolina scrambling to declare that their star players whose autographs are being sold in bulk on eBay are as pure as the driven snow.  Of course, back in the real world…

Rudolph says his company has paid many pro athletes for the signing of items, but says when it comes to college athletes, “it gets a little sketchy. … we’ve had arrangements to sign memorabilia for us as soon as their bowl game ends. We have many bowl games down here in Florida. It may be two hours after the game ends, we’re gonna meet at this hotel room. We’ll buy their used game jerseys, their cleats. They’ll sign stuff for us. That’s a gray area because the moment they’re signing and getting their money, their eligibility is done, but when the arrangement is made before their eligibility. … that’s what I can say. I have never had a paid signing with an eligible player, but I know that is going on all the time. All the time.”

It’s probably just a bunch third-sting offensive tackles looking for a little extra jack before stardom doing that.

The sleaze is palpable.

“That doesn’t teach life lessons.”

How can you not love TCU’s Gary Patterson?  The man says what everybody else is thinking:

“I’m sure if it was some opponent they’d beat by 100 points, [the players] wouldn’t have a vote,” Patterson said, according to the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.

Great moments in miscommunication

Well, this explains one low point against Buffalo:

Back up to Sept. 1, 2012, and you’ll find the puppy form of Jenkins. His immaturity still fresh, Jenkins would become the poster boy for what not to do in your first collegiate game in the Bulldogs’ season opener against Buffalo.

After a timeout, defensive coordinator Todd Grantham called for his nickel team to hit the field, meaning Jenkins was subbing in for defensive end Cornelius Washington. But when Grantham looked up, he noticed “a lot of space” next to his nose guard.

Perplexed, Grantham looked to his side and saw Jenkins standing next to him. Buffalo immediately ran a play before Grantham even had time to say anything to Jenkins.

“Of course they ran the ball right where he was supposed to be.” Grantham said laughing.

That would be laughing now.

Just another reason to be worried about the newbies this coming opening night.