I ain’t drunk. I’m just watching a football game.

Texas is about to go there.

I do like this aside:

The bigger concerns surround post-game drunk driving and the possibility for high levels of intoxication, especially at football games, where some sections of the stadium are known for having a consistently high level of intoxicated fans who are disruptive and have to leave the game, some times because they need medical attention.

If they’re intoxicated when they get there…