March 5, 2014 · 3:20 PM

Tabled: one player safety proposal

Bert haz a sad.

All you did was weaken a sport today, Rules Committee. That’s all you did. You put players’ lives in danger. Sweet dreams, son.

12 Comments

Filed under The NCAA

12 responses to “Tabled: one player safety proposal”

  1. Dog in Fla
    March 5, 2014 at 4:13 PM

    Today Mankind shut out Bert & Ernie 1-0

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  2. AusDawg85
    March 5, 2014 at 4:22 PM

    Son, we live in a world that has plays, and those plays have to be guarded by men with tackling skill. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Coach Gus? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Oregon, and you curse the HUNH. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That the defense’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that sideline, you need me on that sideline. We use words like substitution, cover-2, blitz. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a football, and stand in the shotgun. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

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    • AusDawg85
      March 5, 2014 at 4:25 PM

      The preceding fails on a number of levels, not the least of which is it better belongs in the next post re: Saban. (sighhhh….)

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  3. Doug
    March 5, 2014 at 4:26 PM

    You can’t handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has end zones, and those end zones have to be guarded by men in pads. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Coach Malzahn? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for quarterbacks and you curse the defensive line. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that slowing down the offense, while boring, probably saves touchdowns. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves touchdowns! You don’t want the truth, because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me in front of that end zone. You NEED me in front of that end zone. We use words like “honor,” “code,” “loyalty.” We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man whose teams depend on the very type of defense that I execute, and then questions the manner in which I execute it! I would rather you just said “thank you” and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you put on some pads and get in the A-gap. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to!

    (sorry, I couldn’t help myself)

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  4. Spike
    March 5, 2014 at 4:50 PM

    This heat is driving me crazy..

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  5. Reipar
    March 5, 2014 at 5:01 PM

    I strenuously object!

    Best scene in the whole movie.

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  6. Dog in Fla
    March 5, 2014 at 5:16 PM

    “I am the motherfucking Shore Patrol!”

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  7. joyridingdawg
    March 5, 2014 at 5:33 PM

    Big laugh… Thanks!

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