July 1, 2014 · 9:10 AM

Derp. Just derp.

Seriously, you can’t make up shit like this.

49 Comments

Filed under Gators, Gators...

49 responses to “Derp. Just derp.”

  1. Scorpio Jones, III
    July 1, 2014 at 9:55 AM

    Hernandez is also in the Tebow lovefest about the NFL Draft, catching a pass from Tim. Reckon Timmy shoulda spent more quality time with Aaron, prosceltyzin or something. If you throw a guy a pass does this not make you an enabler like the coach?

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  2. Dog in Fla
    July 1, 2014 at 10:30 AM

    Global War on Irwin (GWOI)

    Jeremy Foley HQ
    Ben Hill Griffin Defense Complex
    Calendar Accountability Debrief
    Zero Ten Thirty hours
    1 July 2014/7

    And once, it felt like someone shoved a bundt cake ring down over my head. And the bundt, right, honey? And the bundt unbraided, and the filling rose up in flames, and all the raisins turned into demons, and I put my hands up, and I said, “Demonic raisins, I rebuke you!”

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  3. IveyLeaguer
    July 1, 2014 at 10:41 AM

    UF had another similar kind of faux pas recently, did they not?
    ~~~

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    • Dog in Fla
      July 1, 2014 at 10:56 AM

      Yes.

      “GAINESVILLE — They exited in droves. The boo-birds howled all afternoon.

      In just a month’s time, the Gator Nation has experienced its own five stages of grief:

      Denial. Bewilderment. Fury. Apathy. And, finally, bloodthirsty.

      Florida — in the midst of an embarrassing four-game losing steak — suffered a catastrophic homecoming loss to Vanderbilt on Saturday afternoon, and dejected coach Will Muschamp seemed resigned to knowing his seat is hotter than a Red Savina habanero.”

      http://www.miamiherald.com/2013/11/11/3744953/muschamp-hears-the-boos-i-dont.html

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      • Cosmic Dawg
        July 1, 2014 at 10:16 PM

        The best part about that article is the 5th or so comment down by the shirtless dude holding a snake in his backyard whose FB tag says “Works At: Scuba Diving” and who posts that “Mustcump is just to [sic] lazy to do the work he need’s [sic] to do”.

        Now that you can’t make up…God bless ’em…and I really mean that.

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  4. Z-Dawg
    July 1, 2014 at 10:44 AM

    He’s #81 in your programs but inmate #174954 in our hearts.

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  5. Bob
    July 1, 2014 at 11:18 AM

    What do you expect from a school that can’t discern between a Crock and a Gator for their Football Media Guide? Par for the course in Gainesville.

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  6. Macallanlover
    July 1, 2014 at 12:03 PM

    Top 1% of the Top 1% you know. Have to credit their business school for finding some out-of-the-box thinkers for their marketing grads. Taking away point though for not having an updated uni picture with the striped coveralls.

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  7. Twistification
    July 1, 2014 at 12:18 PM

    ” Aaron Hernandez is going to use that calendar to hide the tunnel he’s digging.”

    GOLD

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  8. uglydawg
    July 1, 2014 at 12:21 PM

    Is OJ in the USC calender?

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  9. AthensHomerDawg
    July 1, 2014 at 12:27 PM

    Agent Muschamp is doing an excellent job. I’d say he was on pace to equal the good work done by Agent SOD.

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    • Dog in Fla
      July 1, 2014 at 12:41 PM

      He is doing such an excellent job that we are lucky that Jeremy didn’t prematurely abort the mission last season. 007 carries out his work for us with single-minded focus and bulldawg determination alone. SOD had better stage presence with props such as signage, hoses, orange riding britches and stand-up like the Germans are coming all of which were excellent theatre for diverting attention from Lane killing what was formerly known as Krispy’s program

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  10. Mayor
    July 1, 2014 at 12:35 PM

    Last time I checked Aaron Hernandez hasn’t been convicted of anything yet. Just sayin.’

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    • Dog in Fla
      July 1, 2014 at 12:42 PM

      And it took awhile for OJ to be convicted of something

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      • Mayor
        July 2, 2014 at 11:33 AM

        Et tu, Brute? You of all people….I guess you were asleep in Criminal Law class when the Prof talked about “innocent until proven guilty” and “right to trial by jury.” You should be ashamed.

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    • Anon
      July 1, 2014 at 1:09 PM

      Much like countless other points I’m sure, you’ve completely succeeding in missing this one.

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    • Bulldawg165
      July 1, 2014 at 1:25 PM

      You don’t think it’s bad PR to have him in the calendar while he’s awaiting trial for THREE murders, regardless of whether or not he’s found guilty? Sheesh.

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      • Mayor
        July 1, 2014 at 9:35 PM

        I just checked again and, in spite of all the BS on this thread, Aaron Hernandez still hasn’t been found guilty of anything.

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        • garageflowers
          July 1, 2014 at 10:13 PM

          I just checked again, and Bulldawg165 asked “You don’t think it’s bad PR to have him in the calendar while he’s awaiting trial for THREE murders, regardless of whether or not he’s found guilty?”. Who said he is has been found guilty of anything?

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          • IveyLeaguer
            July 2, 2014 at 12:54 AM

            Who said he has been found guilty of anything?

            Nobody has. I won’t either.

            But I will say this: The mindless, worthless piece of human debris is guilty as charged.
            ~~~

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            • Mayor
              July 2, 2014 at 11:30 AM

              I guess you have found him guilty then from media reports, didn’t you? Without hearing or seeing any evidence. That attitude is the reason for my post above. My comment wasn’t really about the use of Hernandez’s likeness on the calendar. It was about the tone and tenor of these posts. 3 people are dead and a person who was held up to be a football “hero” is in custody awaiting trial for causing those deaths. Personally, I find the joking about this situation to be in bad taste and beneath the usual banter on this blog. Oh, and BTW, I checked again and Hernandez still hasn’t been convicted of anything yet.

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        • Cosmic Dawg
          July 1, 2014 at 10:24 PM

          A good point to remember, but the thrust of this conversation (save some tunneling jokes) has been about it being a bad PR move. Surely they have some other candidates for the calendar while Hernandez gets his day in court, right?

          At the least, we’ll almost certainly find out he was keeping some bad company…you don’t have to be “guilty” to be passed over as being one of the 12 best representatives of your program, right?

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          • Mayor
            July 2, 2014 at 12:11 PM

            I agree with everything you said in your (as usual) intelligent and moderate post, CD. It was a bad PR move for FU, they should have used somebody else’s picture for the calendar AND Hernandez should “get his day in court.” Thank you for leaving out the tasteless jokes about people being murdered and the accused being sub-human and let’s all return to to our usual practice of making tasteless jokes about the FU student body, coaches and football team being sub-human.

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        • Senator Blutarsky
          July 2, 2014 at 6:07 AM

          You repeat this as if it has some great significance.

          They’re not empaneling a jury, Mayor. They’re picking poster boys for the program.

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          • Macallanlover
            July 2, 2014 at 8:22 AM

            If it happens below the GA/FLA border Mayor wants nothing to do with it. He should also consider that Hitler, Stalin, and Saddam were never actually given their day in court, or even provided counsel , for their “alleged” crimes either.

            Come on Mayor, take a stand man! Our judicial system isn’t totally about the truth; like Little Nicky, it is about the process. You still think the OJ jury made killing two humans acceptable? You think marketing isn’t about the warm and fuzzies? I am sure the FU fans hope there are lots of people who take your approach to this faux pas.

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  11. SCDawg
    July 1, 2014 at 1:17 PM

    If Judge Wilkens rules in O’Bannon’s favor, is Hernandez going to get extra money for the prison canteen for the use of his likeness?

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  12. paul465
    July 1, 2014 at 1:59 PM

    What never ceases to amaze me is that despite all the trouble he got into to, and he got into quite a bit, Aaron still managed NOT to get kicked off the same team Cam Newton DID get kicked off of. And it was AFTER his dismissal that Newton’s asking price was $200,000.

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    • Dog in Fla
      July 1, 2014 at 2:34 PM

      I’ve said it before and they’ll say it again, criminal defense is the only thing that they do

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  13. Normaltown Mike
    July 1, 2014 at 3:31 PM

    Good thing he didn’t play at UGA or he would’ve turned into a REAL thug.

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  14. Turd Ferguson
    July 1, 2014 at 3:32 PM

    Maybe they just couldn’t find 12 noteworthy Gators who weren’t also on trial for something. Some felon or another had to be Mr. July.

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  15. uglydawg
    July 1, 2014 at 5:26 PM

    If he HAD been kicked off the Florida team for suspicion of murder, he would have graduated from Auburn

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  16. Goat Balls
    July 1, 2014 at 9:14 PM

    I miss Erk Russell. How bout some posts on the greatness that was Erk Russell.

    If we talk about Erk, I’ll tell my story of running into Munson outside the Loganville awful waffle.

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  17. Goat Balls
    July 2, 2014 at 5:04 PM

    What’s wrong with the comments? I can’t get past comment 34.

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  18. Mike
    July 7, 2014 at 11:39 AM

    Hate to interrupt your chortling, but note that Hernandez is in the New England Patriots’ 2014 calendar, too, as the picture for February. And not only is that calendar still for sale online at Target, it’s still for sale in the Patriots ProShop.

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