The Great Crab Legs Caper of 2014

So Winston said it was all about getting hooked up by a store employee.

Jimbo Fisher takes him at his word, adding a school investigation as support:

According to the coach, the FSU compliance department looked into the issue at the time — they contacted the Publix store — and found it to be an isolated incident, although Winston’s public comments has the department taking a peek yet again. “[T]hey think it’s totally an isolated incident that happened and [we’re in] the process working it right now. So I don’t think it’s anything else more than that,” Fisher said.

The problem with that, it seems, is FSU doesn’t know anything about that.

“We have become aware of statements made by Jameis Winston during a recent interview with Jim Harbaugh describing the circumstances of his alleged receipt of food from a local grocery store. The details disclosed by Winston in that interview were not previously known to the University. As is the case with all matters of this type, we will work in partnership with the NCAA to determine whether a violation occurred.”

And neither does Publix.

Following Winston’s claim on ESPN’s Draft Academy that the April 2014 incident wasn’t shoplifting but an inside connection, a Publix spokeswoman affirmed that the company’s investigation in May did not suggest an employee had given Winston merchandise.

“When we conducted the original investigation with the store associates and management both, we found no information that would corroborate the story that there was any arrangement for Jameis or any other FSU athlete to get any product for free,” said Maria Brous, Publix’s director of media and community relations.

What everyone does know is what Winston claimed when it happened.

Brous pointed to the report from the sheriff’s office in which Winston said he forgot to pay, which was consistent with the statement his lawyer released to the media at that time.  [Emphasis added.]

So, what I can’t figure out here is that Winston went to great lengths to hide the truth from a lot of people, including his own lawyer, took a hit on a criminal charge… and now, almost casually, goes ahead and spills the beans on what he says really went down.  Why now?

Then, again, I’m not going to be the first pick in the NFL draft, so does it really matter?

As the Arizona Cardinals general manager puts it,

GM Steve Keim on weighing off-field issues for prospects: "If Hannibal Lecter ran a 4.3, we'd probably diagnose it as an eating disorder."

— Darren Urban (@Cardschatter) April 22, 2015

Hell, maybe the suspension from the baseball team was overly harsh.

“Mr. Slive, Coach Saban’s on line one.”

It sounds like Trent Miles intends to invite the entire Big Ten to his Football Camp.

This is going to get uglier before it gets resolved.

The future’s so bright…

A little porny, perhaps, but you’ve got to like the implications of a list of Georgia’s top five playmakers on offense in which four of them are true sophomores.

Wednesday morning buffet

Another day full of buffet goodness:

• Art Briles says Baylor’s non-conference schedule had “zero impact” on his team not making the CFP last season.  He’s right, in that had Baylor not lost to West Virginia, it would have been in.  He’s wrong in that the non-conference schedule left Baylor with zero margin for error.
• What do you get when some economics professors rank the intensity of college football rivalries?  This:  “Within a conference, the most intense two-way rivalry was between Central Michigan and Western Michigan…”  You might want to think about tweaking your measurements, fellas.
• If Natrez Patrick stays at inside linebacker, at ten or so pounds heavier than Alec Ogletree, he’d be the biggest player ever to suit up at the position under Richt.
• Nick Saban wants to be clear about satellite camps.  He’s agin’ ’em.  And you don’t want to offend Alabama on the recruiting front, people.
• So, there was an inside guy on the Winston crab legs heist?  Steve Spurrier’s gonna have to come up with a new nickname for FSU, methinks.
• It’s only April and the 2015 watch lists for awards march has started.  Wake me when it’s over.
• It looks like Georgia Tech has landed its B-back for this season.
• Year2 discusses the case for Nick Chubb’s Heisman possibilities.

“If the season started today, which of our quarterbacks would you want under center?”

Georgia bloggers’ answers here.  (I’m the succinct one.)

The only surprise I take from the responses is how little mention Park receives.  I know he’s a long shot due to his relative lack of experience, but I have to say I’m more impressed with his G-Day effort after watching some of the replay.

Banging for the bucks, SEC coaches edition

I have a friend who shall go nameless here, who used to rank his dates by what he called the “get down to dollars” ratio:  how much money he had to spend on a woman before she went to bed with him.

So what do we get if we translate that formula over to SEC coaches, and their wins and salaries?  Something like this:

1. Gus Malzahn – $380,000 per win
2. Mark Richt – $412,000 per win
3. Les Miles – $417,000 per win
4. Gary Pinkel – $421,000 per win
5. Steve Spurrier – $476,000 per win
6. Hugh Freeze – $538,000 per win
7. Kevin Sumlin – $538,000 per win
8. Butch Jones – $600,000 per win
9. Dan Mullen – $609,000 per win
10. Nick Saban – $660,000 per win
11. Bret Bielema – $800,000 per win
12. Mark Stoops – $1.03 million per win
13. Derek Mason – salary not disclosed; three career wins

Jim McElwain can’t be assessed, of course.

Kinda casts that whole underpaid/overpaid argument in a new light, doesn’t it?

Tide fans, now they’re just screwing with ‘ya.

Enjoy the comedic stylings of PAWWWLLL! and Nick, together again.

.@finebaum just said he talked to a source at Alabama who said there's "a chance" Braxton Miller comes to Alabama.

— Marc Torrence (@marctorrence) April 21, 2015

Blockbuster!  Phyllis from Mauga goes nuts!

What say you, Coach?

“I know nothing about any such rumors. I don’t even know who you’re talking about but I don’t know about any of those things.”

Which makes Nick Saban the only person in America who follows college football closely and claims he’s never even heard of Braxton Miller.  Uh hunh.  Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk…

They’ll be here all week, folks.  Try the venison.