“Anyone want to loan me a crayon so I can explain cost-benefit analysis to our new AD?”

Some day, somebody’s gonna write one helluva book about the Steve Patterson era at Texas.

You may say he’s a dreamer.

Karl Benson is the Sun Belt commissioner.  He’s also detached from reality.

Benson said he wants Sun Belt teams to try to shed their “addiction” to lucrative, nonconference games against heavily favored Power Five opponents. He wants to improve the Sun Belt’s chances of having an undefeated team to reach a College Football Playoff access bowl and increase the league’s portion of CFP money divided among Group of Five schools.

“This isn’t anything new I’m saying, but it’s the first time we’ve had all 11 schools around the table that had been with the Sun Belt for a period of time for stability,” Benson told CBSSports.com. “Rather than playing multiple million-dollar payday games, we’re better off to get a return on our investment, so to speak, on the back end by being able to win games against our peer opponents.”

As Solomon points out, there are two rather sizable holes in his gameplan.  One is Marshall’s experience last season, going unranked by the selection committee despite its gaudy record because its schedule was deemed too soft.  It’s great to aspire to be king of the dipshits, but that doesn’t mean you’ll get to date the homecoming queen.

Second, he’s seriously underestimating how much his schools need the upfront money.

… Also, money games produce a likely loss on the field but guaranteed money to help balance athletic department budgets. This year, the Sun Belt’s 11 teams combined play 19 of their 35 nonconference games against teams from the SEC, Big Ten, Pac-12, ACC and Big 12.

There’s no way that extra pop from the access bowl – which Benson himself estimates was worth about $2 million last season – is gonna make up for dumping that.  But, hey, it never hurts to dream.

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When Finebaum smells blood…

… it’s not pretty.

“To call someone from an Atlanta newspaper, that covers professional sports mainly and college sports secondarily, an enemy reeks of Richard Nixon in 1973.”

Longtime radio host and ESPN college football analyst Paul Finebaum was on The Dan Patrick Show revealing some of the biggest story lines from SEC Media Days the past week and a half, which in recent years during a slow month of July has resembled the type of fruitless gossip and inane drama you see during in the week leading up the Super Bowl.

Finebaum, who has long been heralded as one of the South’s most recognizable college football pundits, took exception to South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier’s time at the podium, as the candid Ol’ Ball Coach known for his shrewd diction was bordering on frustrating this time around.

“I was embarrassed for him. He came off like a crazy uncle in the attic. There was no explanation, there was no reason.”

Coming off their worst season in four years, Spurrier has repeatedly alluded to his age during many press conferences. A ploy Finebaum says isn’t exactly helping.

“He really has made his age an issue, and guess what, he’s not as good a coach and he’s not at the same type of program that he used to be.”

At this point, I’m sure Spurrier would love to have a drop the mic-type of season – double digit wins and a trip to Atlanta, followed by telling everyone he’s unhappy with to kiss his wrinkled ass.  But wishing ain’t enough to make it so.  It’s gonna be an interesting year to follow Gamecock football, though.

Will you still need me, will you still feed me… when I’m seventy-four?

I love the smell of desperation in the morning.

During an official visit with the Gamecocks on Friday, Class of 2017 quarterback Jake Fromm (Warner-Robins, Ga./Houston County) told TheBigSpur.com that Spurrier told him he would “stay at South Carolina six more years” if the talented signal caller committed to the Gamecocks.

The only thing left for him to tell recruits is that he plans to die on the sidelines during a game.

Name that caption, hadda do it edition

Some pictures just beg to be captioned.

This is one of those.

@LSUCoachMiles is a man of many hats #MadHatter #SECofficialsarethebest @SEC pic.twitter.com/1vPFPZp64u

— Dean Dingman (@DeanDingman78) July 24, 2015

Have at it in the comments.