August 27, 2015 · 7:04 AM

“I’m searching for a word here,” he said. “It’s unbelievable. It’s incomprehensible.”

Dude, the word you’re looking for is “Auburn“.

60 Comments

Filed under Academics? Academics., Auburn's Cast of Thousands

60 responses to ““I’m searching for a word here,” he said. “It’s unbelievable. It’s incomprehensible.””

  1. Mayor
    August 27, 2015 at 7:14 AM

    Public Administration is a legitimate major. I can’t believe anybody would take action to eliminate it–anywhere. The fact that a lot of jocks at Auburn major in that is beside the point. I think the real story is why some academic types are trying to eliminate a real area of study–could be THEY are anti-athlete?

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    • Senator Blutarsky
      August 27, 2015 at 7:15 AM

      In addition to meeting with the school’s provost to urge him to spare public administration, the documents show, top athletic officials also offered to use athletic department funds, if necessary, to help pay its professors and support staff. Gary Waters, Auburn’s senior associate athletic director for academic services, wrote in an email in January 2013 that athletics had made “similar investments in academic programs during the last few years,” although in those cases, he added, “it has not been publicized.”

      I think you’re missing the point, Mayor.

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      • Mayor
        August 27, 2015 at 12:10 PM

        No, I think you are missing the point, Senator. Public Administration is a legitimate major. Why are certain faculty members who apparently are in positions of authority trying to kill a legitimate major which, as far as I know, every big university has, including UGA (See Spike’s post below). This is an intramural fight at Auburn with anti-jock faculty on one side trying to kill a legitimate academic program because jocks are in it. What should be going on is an effort to EXPAND Public Administration as a major, get more people in it and enhance it as a major. Instead they want to kill it. PA isn’t Basket Weaving. This is really strange behavior.

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        • Senator Blutarsky
          August 27, 2015 at 12:15 PM

          Public Administration is a legitimate major.

          At Auburn, how do you know? After all, at many schools, you could say the same thing about sociology.

          And that you think an athletic department – one that’s been losing money, mind you – offering financial support to keep a specific academic program open isn’t a big deal says something about your priorities here.

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  2. Spike
    August 27, 2015 at 7:25 AM

    Wonder what the other “..academic programs..” were, and what were the “..investments..”? Full disclosure: My degree from UGA was in Public Administration. There were no athletes in any of those courses at Baldwin Hall as I recall, and it was no “basket weaving” major back in my day. It has served me well over the years. But, UGA isn’t Auburn, thank God.

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  3. Hogbody Spradlin
    August 27, 2015 at 7:28 AM

    Holy tail wagging the dog Batman!

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  4. 3rdandGrantham
    August 27, 2015 at 7:33 AM

    Where there’s smoke, there’s Auburn.

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  5. The other Doug
    August 27, 2015 at 7:56 AM

    I wonder what would happen if the Political Science Department worked to make the PA degree more rigorous.

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    • Mayor
      August 27, 2015 at 4:23 PM

      The jocks would probably all change majors. BTW it isn’t just football players. As I understand it, there are a total of 26 jocks, 16 of whom are football players. The rest are pretty evenly spread among basketball, baseball and other sports. What I don’t know (and frankly don’t care enough to spend the time to find out) is how many people are in the program–and I don’t believe that sh!t about there are only 100 total in a major like Public Administration at a school the size of Auburn.

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  6. JasonC
    August 27, 2015 at 8:07 AM

    I think I’m going to apply for the trademark for “Public Administration U” and “Public Admin U” before anyone else takes it.

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  7. Spike
    August 27, 2015 at 8:27 AM

    Do they have an anti theft major?

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  8. Uglydawg
    August 27, 2015 at 8:32 AM

    I’d love to see a study on the number of football players…and esp. 4 and 5 star players..that every school has dismissed in the last ten years..(and where they landed after the dismissal) and compare it to the percent of regular students that get dismissed.
    Not that shedding that light would change anything.
    The real problem is not that Auburn people don’t believe their program is tainted..it’s that they really don’t care.

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    • Athens Dog
      August 27, 2015 at 9:00 AM

      Spot on analysis………..and my Auburn friends who are intelligent (reasonably) have a total blind spot

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      • Uglydawg
        August 27, 2015 at 9:06 AM

        It follows that you have very few Auburn friends:)

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        • 81Dog
          August 27, 2015 at 11:47 AM

          do intelligent AU people own unicorns, or are the chances of those discussed but never seen creatures so unlikely as to be impossible? Given the choice in which of the two are more likely to exist, frankly, I’m going with unicorns (of course, I’ve never actually met WarDEagle. He could be a unicorn himself)

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    • 3rdandGrantham
      August 27, 2015 at 9:13 AM

      ‘The ends justify the means’ is so cliche..I get that. But with that said, the ends truly justify the means over there. Just as a drug addict or habitual cheater will make excuses for their shortcomings or deny they have a problem in the first place, followed eventually by having no shame whatsoever, AU is pretty much in the same spot these days.

      Whereas before they actually tried to convince you that they weren’t a dirty program, you’re right in that they’re now at the stage where they basically don’t care what you or anyone else thinks of them. In fact, they seem to take pride in what they do—the AU guy who previously defended the Cam situation till he was blue in the face just laughs in your face these days without muttering a word.

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      • Twistification
        August 27, 2015 at 10:58 AM

        But let them tell you that everyone else is like them (especially Bama!) but they are just being straightforward about it. They are the only ones being real folks!! Ugh…so tiring.

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      • Mayor
        August 27, 2015 at 2:56 PM

        And why wouldn’t he laugh? They completely got away with it and won a NC to boot. If the NCAA and the SEC don’t enforce the rules and someone profits by cheating who is the stupid one? The cheater or the one who follows the rules to their detriment?

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        • 3rdandGrantham
          August 27, 2015 at 3:14 PM

          You’re preaching to the converted, but I hear ya. Doing things ethically is still the way to go regardless…which is why Character is so important these days and very few seem to possess it.

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  9. lamontsanford
    August 27, 2015 at 9:13 AM

    No Ragrets out on the Plains…not even a single letter.

    You do you Auburn–You do You!

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  10. CannonDawg
    August 27, 2015 at 9:35 AM

    Comparing Auburn to a country, it would have to be North Korea. It feels threatened by and inferior to its closest neighbor; it has no scruples and can’t be trusted to behave within civilized society’s norms; and it has enough firepower that it can’t be ignored.

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  11. roswelldawg
    August 27, 2015 at 10:01 AM

    No surprise here. Malzahn personified.

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  12. jabo052
    August 27, 2015 at 10:28 AM

    Drive through the auburn campus with your window down….

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  13. Scorpio Jones, III
    August 27, 2015 at 10:47 AM

    “athletics had made “similar investments in academic programs during the last few years,” although in those cases, he added, “it has not been publicized.” I thought things were changing in Chapel Hill…oh, wait.

    OK, I gotta ask, does the UGA athletic association “subsidize” any academic programs…other than the obvious scholarship money? Are we sure Bill Hartman paid his own tuition to grad school?

    I am certainly not making any accusations, but I suspect this may be more wide-spread than we realize, and more wide-spread than the WSJ realizes.
    Auburn is low-hanging fruit in this stuff.

    What’s wrong with contributing to the band?

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  14. Zone2District37Comptroller
    August 27, 2015 at 10:56 AM

    Thank you! This is my favorite article of the month. I always enjoy reading the many ways in which Auburn is shitty.

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  15. DawgPhan
    August 27, 2015 at 11:13 AM

    isnt this just the sociology degree from a few years ago. The no-show major that just required a handful of papers to be turned in each year?

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  16. charlottedawg
    August 27, 2015 at 11:28 AM

    Does it really matter? As far as I’m concerned if you go to Auburn it’s because you screwed academically in high school. If you’re from Georgia and you go to Auburn it means you got rejected by tech and or UGA and now mommy and daddy have to pay out of state tuition for a useless degree. Tech is a great school, UGA is fine, Florida is you’re from the sunshine state is s decent option, Auburn is a joke. I’m literally going to tell my kids if Auburn is the only school that accepts them they failed high school.

    But what do i know I’m a UNC grad. Auburn’s got nothing on us when it comes to fake classes and majors.

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    • ASEF
      August 27, 2015 at 12:47 PM

      Except in UNCs case it was a group of faculty and admins too busy raising cash and publishing papers to care about classroom quality oversight. And an alumni base that hit the roof (and closed their checkbooks) until heads rolled and independent investigations got to the bottom of it.

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    • try thinking first
      August 27, 2015 at 2:24 PM

      I have a son who graduated from AU and now works for Mercedes. Another son with mid B avg and decent ACT score who wasn’t accepted to UGA and went to AU. The HOPE has fucked up the admissions process for kids from Atlanta.
      Example: if you graduate from AU with a Building Sciences degree, which requires maintaining an A average, you can start with the construction company of your choice and enjoy a six figure salary.
      I went to UGA and dislike everything about AU athletics. Always have, always will, but you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about relative to the academic climate for regular students. So chill with the uninformed generalities dumbass….Sounds like you benefited from some of the fine academics at UNC we’ve been reading about lately.

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      • HVL Dawg
        August 27, 2015 at 4:12 PM

        Put the coffee down and step away from the keyboard.

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        • try thinking first
          August 27, 2015 at 5:25 PM

          Ehh. It takes a lot to piss me off, but Charlotte succeeded. No need for her (or anybody else) to trash the general student population due to our collective hatred of AU athletics.

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      • charlottedawg
        August 28, 2015 at 7:05 AM

        verbatim from Auburn Building Sciences:The Fall 2014 Class had a 100 percent placement and an average starting salary of $51,136.84.

        good on them for 100% placement but having worked with GCs, life is tough when the economy hits a skid. As my architect friends who have had their careers destroyed can attest (long hours for teacher pay). Also 50k is a far cry from 100.

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        • try thinking first
          August 28, 2015 at 10:16 AM

          My comment re salary was based on conversations with a friend who owns a construction company. He may have been talking about a specialized area of building sciences that commands six figures, not sure.
          In any event, sorry for going off on you….I’m just hurtin’ for some football

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        • 81Dog
          August 28, 2015 at 10:58 AM

          it’s Auburn math.

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      • Bazooka Joe
        August 28, 2015 at 4:46 PM

        Building Science ?? Do you get a can of legos with that ???

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    • Bulldog Joe
      August 27, 2015 at 5:51 PM

      Many of the engineering programs and the vet school there are very good.

      Since very few if any revenue-generating athletes are in those schools, they operate outside the reach of the athletic department.

      Until the athletic department needs to raise funds.

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    • eethomaswfnc
      August 28, 2015 at 6:58 AM

      The Auburn accounting program is pretty darn good, too.

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  17. Ben
    August 27, 2015 at 11:51 AM

    When I read this last night, I told my wife I was going to leave her and marry this article and start a family with it, because I love it so much.

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  18. Bulldog Joe
    August 27, 2015 at 11:59 AM

    So all the department heads except for engineering and the vet school still work for the Athletic Department?

    Isn’t that what lost them their SACS Accreditation 12 years ago?

    Same as it ever was.

    Looks like some department heads will be getting “early retirement” for speaking out.

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  19. Ed Kilgore
    August 27, 2015 at 12:12 PM

    War Damn Pert Chart!

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  20. stuckinred
    August 27, 2015 at 12:42 PM

    My dog got cancer and our local Athens vet, UGA grad, had us go to Auburn for treatment. They were great and saved his life.

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  21. Bulldog Joe
    August 28, 2015 at 2:11 PM

    It’s been fun watching the Aub Family circling the trailers today.

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