The future’s so bright, we gotta wear shades.

June 20, 2017 – 8:30 AM EDT

ATHENS, Ga. (AP) — In a stunning turn of events, the University of Georgia ended Stanford University’s 22-year stranglehold on the NACDA Learfield Sports Directors’ Cup by storming into a first-place finish, fueled by national championships in eight different sports over the past year.

Georgia Athletic Director Greg McGarity credits the origin of the unprecedented surge to a change in the state’s Open Records law passed at the end of the 2016 legislative session.

“When it came to hiring and firing coaches, plenty of folks thought I couldn’t find my way out of a paper bag with one end open,” McGarity said with a chuckle.  “The reality was that having to acknowledge an open records request in three days was crippling our ability to compete.  Now that the shackles have been removed, there’s really no ceiling on what Georgia athletics can accomplish.”

The facts appear to bear McGarity out on that.  Georgia’s baseball team, which had been mired in mediocrity for several years, never lost another game in 2016 after Governor Nathan Deal, wearing a Georgia cap and woofing, signed the bill into law.  Several other sports at the school took off in similar fashion, being capped by both the men’s and women’s basketball teams crashing their respective Final Fours and winning 2017 national titles.

Ironically, given that he was the only person at the school willing to acknowledge any contact with Georgia lawmakers about the bill, head football coach Kirby Smart was one of the rare coaches who did not bring a national championship trophy back to Athens, as Georgia was upset by Houston in the semi-finals of the college football playoff.

However, Georgia fans aren’t holding that against Smart, as the Dawgs have signed what is widely acknowledged to be the nation’s best recruiting class this season, capped by inking all but one of the top ten high school players in the country.  (That one player, Eureka, California’s Tony Brown, had a mother who wasn’t impressed with Georgia’s sales pitch:  “Kirby kept talking about this Open Records law thing like it was some big deal.  I kept telling him I didn’t see how that would help me get to see my boy play football every weekend.”)

Naturally, Georgia’s success hasn’t gone unnoticed.  Asked about the rash of changes to other Southern states’ Open Records laws passed in response – most notably Alabama’s, where the standard of within a reasonable amount of time has been replaced by “whenever Coach Saban feels like it” – McGarity acknowledged a concern.  “For us, it’s about a level playing field.  It’s something we’ll ask Commissioner Sankey to address at next year’s spring meeting.  If that doesn’t work, then we may have to look at other options.”

Are there any other future legislative changes in store to help keep the Bulldogs on top?  “I could tell you about those, but then I’d have to have Jimmy Williamson arrest you,” he answered.  “No, seriously,” he continued when he saw this reporter smile.


Filed under Georgia Football, It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant, Political Wankery

43 responses to “The future’s so bright, we gotta wear shades.

  1. simpl_matter

    How long was I asleep??!?


  2. lazygrad

    Is this the death to the Georgia Way?


  3. Athens Dog

    The lunatic fringe probably believes this outcome…………jeez


  4. heyberto

    What is this from?


  5. DawgPhan

    UGA fanfic.

    Is there a sexy Jan Kemp in this one?


    • Scorpio Jones, III

      Sexy and Jan Kemp in the same sentence? Have you been to a meeting lately?


    • 81Dog

      wow. There are 3 words I never expected to see in succession. Is such a thing even possible? Because the last two words pretty much obliterate the first one.


  6. Big Shock

    I think I accidentally clicked on The Onion.


  7. Bright Idea

    Casey Cagle already predicted this.


  8. Joe Blfpstk, attorney for Associated Press

    uhhhh, dude…


  9. Walt

    June 20, 2017? More like April 1.


  10. John Denver is full of shit...

    Benjamin Franklin would be pleased with this. Nice work Senator.


  11. sectionzalum

    damn funny


  12. Lumpkin St Block Party

    McGarity opens bags of chips with scissors.


  13. ChunkyA

    That’s gold, Jerry….GOLD


  14. PTC DAWG

    Keep grinding that axe.


  15. waterloodawg

    A day early?


  16. The future can only be bright for UGA if Kirby wins.


  17. Zuta Dawg

    Thank you,
    I read your article this morning while sitting on the john like I do every morning and promptly put on my coat and tie and went straight to court, thinking it was Friday, April First not Thursday March 31st. To my surprise I find the courtroom locked and I’m a day early. That also means I have 20 hours to get those last two CLE credits I thought I was late obtaining.


  18. W Cobb Dawg

    Did our champions visit President Palin at the White House?


  19. Michael Locklear Bell

    Win at all cost.


  20. Jared S.

    Life’s about people, not rings. Rings collect dust.


  21. AusDawg85

    I knew it was fake as there was no mention of blaming Richt for anything.


  22. And former Gov. Bentley is contacting Saban to see if he can make thst open diclosure retro active and to cover till the end of time. Saban has stated, I do not visit people in jail.


    • DawgPhan

      some folks might look towards what is happening in Alabama politics to maybe help pump the brakes on us charging full steam ahead into getting on a level playing field with alabama.