Laremy Tunsil in an election year: you knew somebody would have to go there.

And that somebody is Chris Christie, pandering away.

Christie saw the video of offensive tackle prospect Laremy Tunsil apparently smoking marijuana sometime in the past through a gas mask bong, which apparently got him really, really high.

“It’s unbelievable,” Christie said. “Because the bong hits aren’t enough. Give me the gas mask too. It’s incredible. I can’t take my eyes off it. It’s unbelievable.”

For Christie the former U.S. attorney and a devout guardian of both Rutgers football and American ideals of justice, Tunsil’s actions are a grave problem.

And the governor has a strong take on what to do about it, via BuzzFeed’s Christopher Massie:

“When I was a prosecutor, I would’ve gone in and cuffed this guy,” Christie said. “I would’ve been all over it.”

That would have been fun to watch.  When’s the last time Christie cuffed somebody bigger than him?

34 Comments

Filed under Political Wankery

34 responses to “Laremy Tunsil in an election year: you knew somebody would have to go there.

  1. DawgPhan

    What would he be arresting him for?

    • Derek

      Not doing what the government wants Laremy to be doing. Christie is the sort, and there are far too many, for whom the government could never be too big and powerful. It (he) knows best.

      The guy can’t say no to a donut but he’s worried about your lack of self control. Let’s arrest him for being a disgusting fat ass. It’s unbelievable! It’s not enough to have one donut. He’s gotta eat ALL of them. Asshat!

      • Mike Cooley

        You’re right, Derek. And many of those peopel you describe call themselves liberals.

        Christie is a joke.

        • Derek

          You’ll never find me being pro-leftist authoritarian. I am an anti-authoritarian first and foremost. Unfortunately, most Americans are very comfortable with authority. They just have different rules. The difference between Stalinism and fascism is that in one political power is all that matters and in the other wealth equals power. Other than that, not much difference.

          As far as how the dynamics of authority play out in our domestic politics today I am just much more comfortable with democratically elected officials raising money from their constituents for roads, schools, health care, poverty relief, etc… than I am having those same people tell folks whether they can or can’t drink, take drugs, who they can marry, who they can have sex with, what sorts of music they can listen to, what sorts of books they can read, whether they can possess pornography, whether non-believers should suffer state-sponsored religious prayer in schools, etc, etc…. The police power of the state is far more frightening to me than the power to raise taxes.

          Taxing and spending is about deciding what type of country WE want to be. That seems to be to be in bounds and appropriate for any group of people to decide collectively. Setting jack-booted thugs upon the populace to enforce some BS perspective about how people should behave themselves in private is the government deciding what type of person they want YOU to be. You should get to decide that with as little interference as possible.

          Say what you will but in America the today the second type are much, more prominent in the GOP. There are some on the left too no doubt, just not as much.

          This is the distinction that many on the right either won’t admit or don’t get. The right of personal privacy is far more important than your wallet being protected from your fellow citizens. Why? Tyranny of the elected majority in public matters such as spending priorities is simply not nearly as toxic as tyranny of the majority when it comes to private matters like religion, sex, matters of taste and other solely personal choices. One main reason? Presumably wealth knows no demographics. Anybody can be rich or poor, right? You think taxes are our out of whack, move to change the policy through politics. Worked for Grover Norquist didn’t it? What if you’re an exploited minority? You’re just hopelessly and irretrievably fucked in a democracy and the bastards count on that fact.

          • Mike Cooley

            I agree 100%. Count me among the shocked. Republicans love big government. They just love their version of it. Liberals love to give lip service to being anti authority but they are often the ones cheering on politicians bent on creating even more rules for us all to live by.

          • Mad Mike

            Last time I checked, if you don’t pay your taxes they send the jack boots for you as well.

            • Derek

              True, but you can’t make taxes completely voluntary. I personally would decriminalize that though and just ruin tax dodgers financially. Plenty of civil remedies available for a non-violent offense like tax fraud. But again, its what are democratic processes led to and they can be changed by a majority at any time. If the only thing the government ever asked me to do was write a check, I’d live with that. When it says:

              don’t drink that
              wear that seat belt
              don’t smoke that
              you can’t watch that evil porn
              you don’t need condoms
              you can’t marry outside your own race
              you can be gay, but not you know, be gay
              a blow job is sodomy
              are you sure that’s the right bathroom for you
              do you have your papers?

              Fuck all that!

              The only criminal laws that should involve jails and prison are those that actually cause direct harm (or like DUI or possession of child porn, that greatly risk direct harm) to someone else, e.g., assault, murder, robbery, stealing, rape. I want the police powers necessary to protect me from you. I don’t need them to protect me from me.

              • Mad Mike

                I disagree on the taxation thing. I think it’s theft, but if we cut out a lot of waste and lowered the rates significantly I’d probably quit bitching. About 99% of the rest of that I’m with you on.

                • Derek

                  If taxes are theft than the draft is state-sponsored murder. If you don’t want to live in a nation with any power over its citizens because you have zero faith in your fellow citizens and no interest in abiding its priorities then you have an option. Get a sailboat and cast off. There’s a big lawless ocean out there to explore.

              • TXBaller

                So Derek, when you perform beastiality in your basement you don’t want the government intervening? That’s what our country is evolving into. Libs like you are trashing America. Whatever goes….goes!

                • Cojones

                  You need to come in off the range and give your hoss a rest, Tex.

                • Derek

                  Cow fucking is a hot button issue is it? In Texas? I think we’ve found the hot button issue of the 21st century. The power of the state to enforce a no sex with animals policy. I’m willing to bet that this is one of those least reported criminal activities there being no speaking witnesses and all. What do you propose to ensure that every cow fucker in Texas gets what’s coming to him? How to prevent this very real threat to…cows? I thinking that to make sure that it never happens we’ll just have to remove every cow from the state. That would do it wouldn’t it? I’m guessing you be for that unless you are really a closet cow fucker. After all you’re the only one in Texas that we know is obsessing about it.

          • Noonan

            Democrats banned 32 ounce soft drinks in New York City, and they would love to ration energy consumption. They are just as bad as the GOP.

            • Derek

              I’m pretty that was a republican mayor named Bloomberg, but irrespective it’s consistent with my point. There is an authoritarian instinct within any ideology. I am anti-authoritarian and anti-ideological. However, I would suggest that the same people who want a government official sitting between a woman and her doctor bitching about restricting the sales of sugary drinks is pretty rich. Those people don’t mind fascism, they just wish it wouldn’t interfere with profit making off fat asses.

          • Tim In Sav

            Well well Derek hasn’t forgotten how to use the “F” word

    • Don in Mar-a-Lago

      For not being pretty, pretty, pretty good

  2. Cojones

    I’m amazed that he didn’t feel faint after, not by inhaling, but by breathing that much smoke. Doesn’t even matter what the THC content was, that kind of smoke fog shuts all air out and the rush is probably coupled with anoxia. Most of us would pass out or fall over dead from lack of oxygen His system has learned to take more and more such that he would get pleasantly high; whereas, most of us would get oxygen insufficiency from such a drag.

    He is not your occasional smoker and has built a high tolerance that comes from smoking more and more. If you use ganga recreationally similar to what Tunsil demonstrates, now would be the time to take a break for several months so as to enjoy it later when spring water wells up in your system. Most of the rec smokers that I know stop when the plant crop they are smoking has a minimal affect. At this level in his system, Tunsil would have a hard time going cold turkey (from my experience) and if he smokes that often I would lay odds that he would be positive to any drug testing administered by the school or the NCAA (depending on his fat content) . Does anyone have a record of his testing results obtained under FOI for the time he was in school at Miss?

    • illini84

      baloney

      • Cojones

        The yankee speaks.

      • simpl_matter

        Yeah, most the recreational smokers I know stop never, they just have a couple of different strains around and rotate. Going cold turkey off MJ was easy after college, I just got a full-time job and stopped hanging around with that certain crowd.

        • Cojones

          And I never touched it while in college or grad school, but saw no problem with others smoking. I went cold turkey on cigarettes early in grad work because I believed the first Surgeon General’s Report that they promoted cancer. I smoked a pack and a half of unfiltered Camel Cigarettes per day out of the Service and decided that my early morning runs through Athens could do without them.

          I alternately go months without smoking ganga even if others around me do smoke at get-togethers. I used to quit also if there was a consultancy lining up such that tests were given by independent labs that showed it was out of my system by the time I signed the contract. In my retirement, my last sojourn ended with cookies that gave the lungs a break. I stopped baking two months ago and didn’t go immediately to inhalation. Others that I know just quit smoking ganga for periods that they feel are best for them. The “crowd” (Illini84) that I hang around with are professionals mostly in environmental areas of work plus herpers, birders and other nature lovers. It includes business owners and ITs of varying responsibilities plus at least one person doing work in the “God particle” research area internationally. Most, but not all, are liberal old farts.

          The smoking “crowd” could extend to a lot of white rednecks in this area as well, but they aren’t my flavor.

      • The Dawg abides

        Don’t argue with an expert dude.

  3. Christie told a story on the campaign trail about how a college classmate of his lost his family and eventually his life to drug addiction (prescription). He then suggested that as a society we should take a new look at the way we approach drug use and treat people as addicts instead of criminals.

    And to think, for a brief second I forgot that he was a politician and actually meant what he said. Shame on me.

    • Derek

      I’m guessing that his college classmate is of Christie’s same, let’s say, persuasion?

      Its amazing how attitudes change on these things when you change the demographics. A 50 year old white lady who is addicted to Lortabs needs help. An 18 year old black male smoking a blunt is a thug and needs to go straight to jail.

      Personally, I don’t think either is a police matter.

  4. simpl_matter

    Can’t we just make excessive cupcake consumption illegal and put his dumb ass away!?!

  5. Dylan Dreyer's Booty

    While I am sure Tunsil is stronger and more athletic than Christie, but I am not sure he is actually bigger than The Outlaw Jersey Whale (h/t to Bulldog Joe).

  6. And there, ladies and gents, is a prime grade A example of what’s wrong with America. Jackasses in charge don’t know how to prioritize resources.

  7. Noonan

    “Because the fried chicken wasn’t enough. Give me the doughnuts too. And the cheetos, and the twinkies, and the fun dip, and the large papa john’s supreme pizza.”

  8. bonz

    “When’s the last time Christie cuffed someone bigger…” Hell when’s the last time Christie saw someone bigger than him. LMAO

  9. 1 leg up Dawg

    Christie’s code word for doughnuts is “handcuffs”. The Jersey governors office goes thru cases of “handcuffs” a month.